Tanya Cross, Author at Tanya Cross Consulting

Over-Carrying as a Founder

Tanya Cross on January 24, 2025

Over-carrying as a founder often looks like dedication from the outside. From the inside, it is a pattern that slowly disconnects you from the leadership your business needs most.

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For many founders, responsibility becomes more than a functional role. It becomes a core identity. And it is essential to recognise when a strong sense of care evolves into a relentless burden of over-carrying. It starts with a commitment to serving your team and community. However, over time, that responsibility can quietly shift from leading with clarity to leading from a place of constant internal pressure.

Where Over-Carrying Begins

I recently worked with a founder whose sense of responsibility stretched across every vertical of their life, from family dynamics to high-stakes business operations. They were the singular point of reliance. Consequently, underneath their capable exterior was a constant hum of psychological pressure. They feared that if they let go, the entire structure would collapse. This kind of over-functioning often stems from early patterns where being “easy to count on” earned stability.

Therefore, it is worth identifying where these survival strategies are now holding you back. When responsibility becomes a measure of your worth, it creates a relentless cycle of fixing and managing. You carry more, but you also begin to disappear from your own strategic vision.

Reclaiming Space as a Leader

This work is not about dropping your professional standards. Instead, it is about asking the questions that bring you back to centre:

What is mine to hold, and what belongs to my team?

Where am I over-functioning out of habit rather than necessity?

Who am I when I lead from presence rather than pressure?

Setting boundaries does not make you less capable. It makes you a centred leader who leads with trust instead of tension. By unhooking from what you no longer need to carry, you create the space required for the next phase of your leadership.

If over-carrying has become the pattern and the weight is no longer sustainable, that is not a capacity problem. It is an identity one. Book a 15-minute Strategy Call and explore what shifts when you stop holding everything and start leading from space.

To your brilliance,

Tanya Cross

Industry Leader Coach & The Coaches’ Coach

BAppSoSc (Counselling)

Tanya Cross Consulting

Your Story for the Next Quarter of a Century

Tanya Cross on January 15, 2025

Your story as a founder is not written in a single chapter. It is shaped by what you choose when the next one opens.

Last night, I saw Hamilton with a friend. It is no secret I love a good stage show

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But this one landed differently.

There is a line that stayed with me long after the curtain closed: “How do you want others to tell your story when you are gone?”

It is the kind of question that does not linger quietly. It moves you. Not because it is dramatic, but because it cuts through everything else.

Because whether we say it out loud or not, many of us are asking the same thing: what am I creating with the life I have been given?

For the Founder at a Crossroads

As we step into a new year, and not any year, but the start of a new quarter century, it is worth pausing.

Twenty-five years is a long time to build. And if you are reading this, chances are you have spent much of that time in motion. Growing something. Leading something. Becoming someone.

But perhaps now, the question is not what have I built? Rather, it is what story do I want to shape from here?

What will your story for the next 25 years tell, and will it reflect who you are now?

Looking Back, Then Forward

Twenty-five years ago, I was standing at a crossroads. Stay where it felt safe, or follow the pull of something unknown.

I chose the leap.

That choice did not come with a clear plan or guarantee. But it came from something deeper, a knowing.

And every part of my journey since has come from that one decision: to live in alignment. Not with someone else’s idea of success. But with my own.

What Is Your Story Asking of You?

Perhaps you are standing in a similar space now. You have built well. You have led well. But you are feeling the edge of something new.

And while it is easy to get swept up in goals and plans, this is not about resolutions. This is about revelation.

About slowing down enough to hear the questions that matter.

What moves the needle in your life and leadership?

What can you release to create space for what matters now?

What decisions are calling you to lead from clarity instead of habit?

Your Story Is Not Someday. It Is Now.

Your story is not something you leave behind. It is something you shape as you go. With every choice. Every conversation. Every time you decide to return to what is aligned for you.

This season, this year, is an opening. To plant something aligned. To act from your values. To lead in a way that feels like home.

So ask yourself: what story do you want this next season to tell? And what decision would a founder aligned with that story make today?

If that question is circling and you are ready to explore what your story is asking of you next, book a 15-minute Strategy Call and let the next chapter take shape.

To your brilliance,

Tanya Cross

Industry Leader Coach & The Coaches’ Coach

BAppSoSc (Counselling)

Tanya Cross Consulting

Holding Back as a Founder

Tanya Cross on December 18, 2024

Holding back as a founder rarely looks like inaction. It looks like over-editing, second-guessing, and waiting for conditions that will never feel ready enough.

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Let me ask you something, and I would love your clear answer:

On a scale of 1 to 10, how satisfied are you with your business at this moment?

It is a deceptively simple question. But the response often holds more than a number. It holds a story. A story of growth, and sometimes of hesitation.

And if you are a founder reading this, I want you to know: I see the weight that comes with building something meaningful. I also see how easy it is to stall. Not because you do not care, but because you care so much that everything has to feel aligned before you move.

Why You Might Be Holding Back

There was a time when I found myself doing exactly that. Delaying launches because they were not “perfect.” Staying quiet out of fear of being misunderstood. Hiding behind over-editing, tweaking, and second-guessing. Waiting to invest until I felt more “ready.” And holding myself to impossible standards because success had to look a certain way.

The business was there. But my belief in it, and in myself, had not caught up.

And that is often where founders stall. Not in lack of skill or vision. But in the quiet tension between wanting more and fearing what it will ask of you.

Feeling stuck at this level is not about competence. It is about identity.

When Perfectionism Becomes the Pattern

Founders are natural visionaries. We see what is possible.

But that same gift can turn into pressure. Pressure to execute flawlessly, to scale quickly, to lead without fault.

And so we delay. We overwork. We stay in motion but do not move forward.

However, clarity comes from action, not the other way around. You do not need to feel confident before you show up. You build confidence by showing up.

What Shifted When I Stopped Holding Back

It was not a funnel. Or a big launch. Or a rebrand.

It was the decision to treat my work like it mattered. To act as though I believed in myself, even before I fully did. To choose movement over perfection.

And it changed everything.

Because when you lead from belief, you become magnetic. You stop performing and start building something sustainable, something grounded, something aligned.

The holding back dissolves when belief takes its place.

Your Business Is Not a Hobby. It Is a Reflection of You.

If you treat your business like a side project, it will behave like one. But when you treat it as the platform for what you are here to build, it begins to grow roots.

And not financially alone. But in how it gives you back your time, your energy, your freedom. Making your own schedule. Saying yes to rest, to presence, to joy. Creating from a place of integrity, not pressure. Spending time with people you love because you have built the space to.

That is the reward of alignment. It is what becomes possible when you stop holding back. Not the income alone. But the inner space to live the way you have always wanted to.

What Is Your Number?

Where are you feeling stretched? Where are you still waiting for things to be “ready”? What would happen if you took the next step before everything was lined up?

This is not about pushing. It is about choosing.

The life and business you want are not built all at once. They are shaped moment by moment, choice by choice.

If you have been holding back and you know the next step is waiting for you to take it, book a 15-minute Strategy Call and explore what shifts when you stop waiting and start leading from belief.

To your brilliance,

Tanya Cross

Industry Leader Coach & The Coaches’ Coach

BAppSoSc (Counselling)

Tanya Cross Consulting

Boundaries for Founders

Tanya Cross on December 11, 2024

Boundaries are one of the most undervalued tools in a founder’s leadership, and one of the most urgently needed when the pace has outrun the person.

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We are coming up to the end of the year. And perhaps you are feeling it. The pull to pause. The longing to exhale. The need to step back from the weight of decisions, expectations, and everyone else’s urgency.

But here is what tends to happen. A client wants something last minute. A team member needs you. There is one more deal to close. One more fire to put out.

And because you care deeply, you say yes. Again.

But because you can carry it does not mean you should.

Your Leadership Does Not Have to Come at the Cost of Yourself

As founders, we often confuse being available with being effective. We equate service with self-sacrifice. We think boundaries are for when things are calmer, when we have earned the space to rest.

However, if you do not define your boundaries, your business will define them for you. And the more successful you become, the more people will need from you.

Being needed is not the issue. But if you do not set the edges, it becomes too easy to overextend, and too hard to find yourself inside your own life.

Where Do Your Boundaries Need to Be?

Boundaries are not walls. They are the agreements you make with yourself about what protects your energy, your values, and your vision.

They look like being clear about when you are on and when you are not. Saying no to requests that do not honour your capacity. Protecting your calendar without guilt. Letting your team or clients know in advance when you are offline. And trusting that the business can breathe without your constant presence.

Boundaries are not a sign of stepping back. They are a mark of leadership.

Boundaries Are Not About Checking Out

This is not about withdrawing. It is about checking in with yourself.

It is asking: what do I need to recover, reflect, and return clear? What agreements do I want to make with my time and energy this season? Where am I saying yes to keep the peace, even when I am quietly running on empty?

When you honour your needs, you show others how to do the same. When you rest, you lead from fullness, not fumes.

And when that “urgent” call comes on December 28th, you will know what to say.

Clarity Creates Confidence

So here is what I want you to know. It is okay to take a break. It is okay to set limits. It is okay to let people know ahead of time. And it is more than okay to not explain yourself when the time comes.

Your business does not thrive because you are constantly available. It thrives because you are aligned.

Boundaries make that possible. Not someday. Now.

If your boundaries have been slipping and the cost is starting to show, book a 15-minute Strategy Call and explore what shifts when you start protecting your energy with the same commitment you give to everything else.

To your brilliance,

Tanya Cross

Industry Leader Coach & The Coaches’ Coach

BAppSoSc (Counselling)

Tanya Cross Consulting

Pain Is Not the Only Way to Grow

Tanya Cross on December 4, 2024

Pain is a powerful motivator, but building a leadership practice around it comes at a cost most founders do not see until they are already paying it.

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Let me ask you something: are you tired of needing a problem to finally get moving?

It is a pattern I know well. And if you are a founder who has built your business by pushing through crisis, chances are, you know it too.

The moment something breaks down, the money dips, the relationship strains, the system falters, that is when you take action.

You rise. You rebuild. You solve.

And sure, it works. Until it does not.

Pain Is Not the Only Way to Grow

There was a time I believed I had to be in the thick of the fire to lead. As though my story would not be valid unless it came with scars.

Financial pressure. Family breakdowns. Health crises.

I used to think these were necessary parts of the journey, the fuel I needed to show up. And in some ways, they did shape me.

But at some point, I had to ask: am I growing because I want to, or only when I have to? Do I know how to expand from vision, not from survival?

Because waiting for pain to push you is a high-cost strategy.

From Reactive Growth to Vision-Driven Leadership

Most founders are conditioned to move through stress. It is why we are effective in a crisis.

But staying in that reactive mode, constantly solving, fixing, pushing, eventually wears you out. It creates an internal culture where nothing shifts unless it breaks. Where you associate progress with pressure. And growth becomes a response to discomfort, not a commitment to purpose.

However, there is another way. A quieter, more powerful way. One that does not wait for pain to call the shots.

What If Growth Did Not Come From Suffering?

Expansion does not need a disaster to justify it.

You can launch because you desire to, not because you are desperate. Delegate because you value your energy, not because you are drowning. Evolve because it is time, not because something fell apart.

This is not about bypassing pain. It is about not needing it to be your only driver.

Growth through purpose lasts longer. It feels aligned. And it keeps you in the seat of your own leadership.

The Shift From Pain to Purpose

Pain will move you, no question. It is the wake-up call that forces us to act.

But if you only grow through crisis, life will keep serving you one.

What if instead, you learned to create from alignment? That is what self-concordant growth looks like. Where your goals reflect who you are. Where action comes from clarity, not chaos. Where the reason behind your work is larger than solving a problem.

You Do Not Have to Earn the Next Level Through Struggle

The founder you are becoming does not need breakdowns to break through. They need a clear relationship with what they value. A vision larger than whatever fire is burning. And the courage to grow without a push from pain.

You can evolve without falling apart first. You can create without crisis. You can lead without burning out.

What Are You Acting From?

At this moment, am I acting from vision or reacting to pain?

And if it is the latter, what would it look like to shift?

You do not have to throw out the past. You have built strength through fire.

But your next level may not require flames. It may require presence, clarity, and the willingness to choose growth without needing permission from pain.

You are allowed to move forward even when everything is fine. That is what visionaries do.

If pain has been the pattern and you are ready to lead from something deeper, book a 15-minute Strategy Call and explore what growth looks like when it starts from vision instead of crisis.

To your brilliance,

Tanya Cross

Industry Leader Coach & The Coaches’ Coach

BAppSoSc (Counselling)

Tanya Cross Consulting

Why Do You Keep Learning?

Tanya Cross on November 27, 2024

If you keep learning but nothing shifts, the issue is not what you are consuming. It is why.

Is your learning leading you somewhere or keeping you busy?

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Let us talk about something I see often with founders.

A full folder of programs. Courses still sitting in inboxes. Tabs open with masterclasses, eBooks, worksheets.

You love to learn. But deep down, there is a quiet question: “Is all of this moving me forward?”

You are not alone in that.

Why Are You Still Accumulating?

Learning is powerful. But only when it is intentional.

Some founders study because they are deeply curious. Some develop to stay ahead. Some learn because they are building something of substance and need tools.

But others learn because it feels productive, even when it is a delay tactic. Or because it soothes the discomfort of not feeling ready. Or because it is safer to stay in prep mode than to risk being seen.

None of this is off track. But it is worth noticing.

Your Growth Is Not in the Course. It Is in the Application.

You do not get results from consuming. You get results from integrating.

It is not about how many trainings you have completed. It is about how often you stop, reflect, and ask: Why am I learning this? What am I going to do with it? What outcome do I want it to create?

When you know your reason, you give your learning direction. You start measuring success not in certificates but in clarity, confidence, and traction.

The Cycle That Creates Momentum

Here is the pattern I teach my clients: Learn, Apply, Earn, Reinvest.

It is not linear. It is a cycle. And when you use it intentionally, it becomes one of your most powerful tools.

You take in something new. Apply it, even messily. Refine it through lived experience. Earn from it, whether financially or energetically. Then reinvest in what will elevate you next.

That is the loop that sustains momentum, not motion.

What Is Fueling Your Learning Right Now?

Let us get clear for a second.

Some of us learn to prove our worth. Some to avoid stillness. Some because the discomfort of not knowing feels like falling short.

However, when you name what is underneath, you reclaim your power.

If your growth is driven by fear or pressure, it will wear you out. If it is rooted in alignment and clarity, it will expand you.

And that is where the deeper return lives.

You Do Not Need Another Course. You Need to Know Why You Keep Learning.

Before you open another module or buy another download, ask: Am I learning to move forward or to avoid discomfort? Do I know what I will do with this knowledge? Am I measuring my progress based on what matters to me?

You do not need to learn more. You need to learn with purpose.

Less Consumption. More Application. Move Forward.

This season, let your learning be lean. Let it be aligned. Let it be something that fuels your expansion, not your content library.

Because as a founder, your greatest power is not in what you know. It is in what you do with what you know.

If the learning has been constant but the movement has not matched it, that pattern is worth a closer look. Book a 15-minute Strategy Call and explore what shifts when you stop accumulating and start applying.

To your brilliance,

Tanya Cross

Industry Leader Coach & The Coaches’ Coach

BAppSoSc (Counselling)

Tanya Cross Consulting

The Paradox Is Real

Tanya Cross on November 20, 2024

The paradox of leadership is that the qualities expected of you on the outside are often the very things you are still working through on the inside.

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As a founder, you are often expected to lead with strength, clarity, and vision. To hold it together. To have it together.

Whether you are building a team, guiding clients, or shaping a brand, the pressure to embody what you teach is undeniable.

It is like the personal trainer with a toned body or the interior designer with a flawless home. The assumption is that your life should reflect your work.

But what if it does not?

What if, behind the scenes, you are navigating doubt, fatigue, or your own growth edge?

This is the vulnerability paradox. You are leading others toward alignment, while wondering if you are allowed to show up in your own unfinished work.

The Mask of Perfection Is a Heavy One

In leadership, there is often an unspoken belief that strength means control. That confidence means certainty. That you are supposed to be the one who knows, the one who holds space, the one who does not flinch.

However, hiding where you are creates more tension. It separates you from the very thing that makes your leadership powerful: your humanity.

The pressure to be perfect can become a quiet prison. One that disconnects you from support, keeps you isolated, and erodes the integrity of your voice.

Your Humanity Is Not a Liability

Vulnerability is not a lack of competence. It is the path back to connection.

In my own life, I remember the exact moment the mask cracked. It was confronting. And also freeing.

I recognised that the fear of being seen was keeping me from being known. And that my impact did not require perfection. It required presence.

The Paradox of Openness and Trust

You do not need to spill everything. You do not need to perform your struggle. But you also do not need to hide.

Your people can feel the difference between curated leadership and embodied leadership.

When you allow space for your vulnerability, you create space for theirs too. That is where trust lives. Not in having it all figured out, but in being open about what you are still working through.

Leadership Can Be Lonely Without Safe Spaces

Many founders find themselves in this in-between space. You are holding others, but not sure who is holding you.

Your team looks to you. Your clients look to you. Your community looks to you.

And it can leave you wondering where you get to lay it down.

This is why having your own container matters. Whether it is peer mentorship, supervision, or a coach who sees you as you are. Spaces where you are not the leader, but the human. Not the one solving, but the one processing.

You Do Not Have to Choose Between Power and Vulnerability

Both can live in you. At the same time.

You can be confident and confused. Solid and shifting. Held and still learning to hold yourself.

The idea that you must hide your humanness to lead well is a pattern, not a truth. In fact, it is your humanness that makes your leadership matter.

The Paradox That Sets You Free

Here is what I know. The more you embrace your vulnerability, the more you step into your potential.

Not because everything becomes easy. But because nothing is hidden.

You stop wasting energy trying to hold a version of you that is not needed. You let people see who you are. And that is where trust, clarity, and expansion begin.

You are not alone in this. And you were not meant to carry it all without being seen.

If this paradox has been sitting with you and you are ready to stop carrying it alone, book a 15-minute Strategy Call and explore what shifts when you lead from presence instead of performance.

To your brilliance,

Tanya Cross

Industry Leader Coach & The Coaches’ Coach

BAppSoSc (Counselling)

Tanya Cross Consulting

Are You Solving Problems the Hard Way?

Tanya Cross on November 12, 2024

Solving problems as a founder does not always require more effort. Sometimes it requires a completely different way of looking at the problem itself.

What if the answer has been there all along?

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Have you ever found yourself deep in a business problem, working harder, thinking more hours or more effort will fix it?

What if the solution is not about working more but seeing differently?

Let us take a moment and look at something simple.

You want to know: 80 percent of 10 = 8.

But you can flip it: 10 percent of 80 = 8.

Same answer, different way in. It feels lighter. More direct. Less tangled.

That is the power of shifting perspective. And it applies to more than numbers.

Your Challenges Might Be Simpler Than You Think

After all, most founders are natural problem solvers. You hold a lot. You think fast. You carry responsibility well.

But with that can come a habit of working through force. More effort. More action. More trying. But solving problems through force has a ceiling.

Sometimes that works. However, not when the problem is not lack of action, but lack of clarity.

It is not about being under-equipped. You might be missing the simpler way through.

What Are You Avoiding Because It Feels Too Hard?

In fact, we all do it. Avoiding the spreadsheet. Putting off the hard conversation. Delaying the decision. Saying we are “not ready yet.”

But usually, what feels hard is unfamiliar. And what is unfamiliar becomes easier once we have a better tool, a better lens, or someone beside us helping us shift how we see. That is what shifting perspective looks like in practice.

Most Problems Are Not Solved by More Effort

They are solved by seeing the pattern underneath. They are solved when someone holds up a mirror and says, “What if we look at this a different way?”

That one moment of clarity changes everything. As a result, what felt overwhelming becomes actionable. What felt confusing becomes clear.

Solving Problems With a Different Lens

One of the greatest gifts you can give yourself as a founder is a space to reflect. Not to talk about the issue alone, but to be shown another route you had not seen yet.

Sometimes the best support is not someone who gives you the answer, but someone who gives you a better question.

Ultimately, you do not have to be the one who knows everything. You have to be the one willing to look.

This Is Not About Doing More

Instead, it is about doing differently. Shifting from effort to insight. From stuck to forward. From foggy to clear. Solving problems this way is quieter, but it moves further.

And sometimes, all it takes is one shift in how you look at a thing for the whole picture to change.

If you have been circling the same business challenge, perhaps it is time to stop pressing harder and start asking what else is possible.

Because ease is not found by avoiding the problem. It is found by seeing it in a new light. And that changes everything.

If you have been solving problems the hard way and the pattern has not shifted, book a 15-minute Strategy Call and explore what becomes possible when you look at it differently.

To your brilliance,

Tanya Cross

Industry Leader Coach & The Coaches’ Coach

BAppSoSc (Counselling)

Tanya Cross Consulting

Do You Have the Courage?

Tanya Cross on November 12, 2024

The courage to see others as they are, rather than as a reflection of yourself, is one of the most underrated shifts in leadership.

One of my favourite observations in the work I do with leaders is this: you do not see the world as it is, but as you are.

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This speaks to the deeply subjective nature of perception.

Everyone interprets the world through their own lens, shaped by their experiences, values, and beliefs.

This got me reflecting.

In relationships, this dynamic becomes even more pronounced: we tend to see others not as they are but as reflections of ourselves.

We unconsciously project our own perspectives, values, and expectations onto others. This happens because we assume that what we appreciate, value, and find meaningful must also resonate with them in the same way.

The Projection We Do Not See

But here is the challenge: no one is a perfect mirror of us.

Each individual carries their own set of experiences, values, and ways of navigating life. Even when we find common ground, expecting others to align perfectly with our worldview creates friction.

Misalignment is almost inevitable when we assume that others should think, act, and care as we do. It takes courage to question that assumption.

Yet, so many people fall into this pattern:

The business owner who expects their team to work as tirelessly as they do. The manager who assumes everyone is motivated by the same incentives. The parent who expects their children to embrace the same values they grew up with. The friend who assumes that giving advice is the best way to show care.

Where This Shows Up in Relationships

This tendency becomes particularly noticeable in emotional relationships. If we value certain expressions of affection or communication, we might expect others to do the same, assuming that our way of expressing love should naturally resonate with them.

However, relationships are nuanced, and people express intimacy in ways shaped by their unique life experiences.

No one thinks or feels exactly the same as we do. Yet, we often wish they would. That wish is a perception issue, not a connection one.

We project assumptions onto them, expecting them to meet our unspoken expectations. This creates a gap between what we hope for and what is present. And it is in that gap that discord impacts our interactions. Closing that gap requires a different kind of courage.

The Courage to See Others as They Are

“You do not see the world as it is, but as you are.”

This is the paradox of the work.

The world, and especially the people in it, reflects back parts of ourselves. When we embrace this, we begin to see relationships differently. Not as mirrors that should perfectly reflect us, but as opportunities to understand and appreciate the beauty in our differences.

This does not apply to every situation in every moment. Sometimes, it is not about making others align with who we are. It is about understanding them as they are.

That is where the courage lives. Not in holding your ground, but in being willing to see through a lens that is not your own.

If this pattern of projection has been running your relationships or your leadership and you are ready to see it differently, book a 15-minute Strategy Call and explore what shifts when you lead with the courage to see others as they are.

To your brilliance,

Tanya Cross

Industry Leader Coach & The Coaches’ Coach

BAppSoSc (Counselling)

Tanya Cross Consulting

Avoid The Halloween Panic

Tanya Cross on October 30, 2024

The Halloween panic is not about costumes and candy. It is about what happens when a leader’s nervous system starts running the business.

End-of-month. End-of-year energy. A calendar full of “urgent.”

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And suddenly it can feel like your business is wearing a costume. As a result, everything looks louder than it is.

Requests feel bigger. Problems feel sharper. Your nervous system starts scanning for what might jump out next.

That is the Halloween panic. Not the fun kind. The founder kind. The one that turns a normal week into reactive leadership.

Here Is What I Want You to Know

Panic is not a strategy. Rather, it is a signal.

A signal that your system has slipped into fight or flight, and your decisions are about to become short-term.

And short-term decisions are expensive. They cost you margin. They cost you clarity. They cost you presence.

The Trap Is That Panic Feels Productive

It feels like “I am on it.”

But often it is manual override. Instead, you start fixing problems that do not need fixing. You start replying to messages that could wait. You start making changes that create more complexity.

Consequently, the leader disappears into the noise.

How to Avoid the Halloween Panic

In practice, it comes down to four shifts.

1. Name what is a fact and what is a story.

“Two clients asked for changes” is a fact. “I am losing momentum” is a story.

2. Choose the one lever that matters.

When everything feels urgent, choose one outcome for the next 24 hours. Not ten. One.

3. Slow down enough to lead.

Speed is helpful when the direction is clear. Speed is dangerous when the direction is fear. That is reactive leadership.

4. Protect your boundaries before you need them.

If you wait until you are overwhelmed, the boundary will come out sideways. With resentment. With sharpness. With exhaustion. Panic without boundaries costs more than the crisis itself.

The Clarity-First Reframe

You do not need to react to everything. Rather, you need to respond to what matters.

That is leadership.

So if you feel the panic rising this week, take it as a cue. First, pause. Then breathe. Ask: what would a calm, clear leader do next?

Then do that.

If the panic has become the pattern and you are ready to lead from clarity instead of reactivity, book a 15-minute Strategy Call and explore what shifts when your nervous system stops running the business.

To your brilliance,

Tanya Cross

Industry Leader Coach & The Coaches’ Coach

BAppSoSc (Counselling)

Tanya Cross Consulting

The Key To Sustainable Growth

Tanya Cross on October 24, 2024

Sustainable growth in a business does not come from more effort. It comes from deeper alignment between who you are and what you are building.

Many founders find themselves caught in a cycle of constant activity, pushing forward with ambition yet losing sight of the deeper purpose that once drove them.

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But what if the key to unlocking sustainable growth in your business lies not in doing more but in aligning more deeply with who you are?

What Alignment Looks Like in Leadership

Alignment is, at its core, the process of connecting who you are with what you do. When you are aligned, your actions are in harmony with your values, purpose, and vision. Alignment is not about professional success alone. It is about finding a flow that merges personal fulfilment with business growth.

However, many founders find themselves disconnected from this alignment. They might be working hard and achieving external success, but inside, something feels off. That “something” is often a misalignment between their inner world and their outer world.

What Misalignment Costs You

Without alignment, even the best business strategies can fall flat. When you are not aligned with your work, you are more likely to feel drained, frustrated, and disconnected. You may find yourself questioning your path, wondering why success feels hollow.

Misalignment can lead to burnout, which often shows up as emotional exhaustion, lack of motivation, or even health issues.

As a leader, people look to you for guidance. But if you are out of sync with yourself, it is difficult to inspire others. Congruence stems from alignment, and when you are clear on who you are, others naturally resonate with your message.

Business challenges often reflect personal ones. If you are not aligned, it is easy to fall into the pattern of thinking external problems need external solutions. But in practice, sustainable growth happens when you shift internally first.

Where Sustainable Growth Begins

The journey toward alignment begins with self-awareness, taking time to reflect on what matters to you.

This means reconnecting with the purpose and values that first drove you to start your business in the first place. When you understand the deeper reason behind your actions, you can make decisions that are in harmony with both your personal and professional life.

Alignment also allows you to focus on what is essential, reducing unnecessary stress and creating more meaningful momentum.

When Your Business Becomes an Extension of You

When you are aligned, your business becomes a congruent extension of who you are, and this congruence draws in the opportunities, clients, and partnerships that fit.

Instead of chasing success, you attract it by staying connected to yourself. Leaders who embody their message inspire others, and alignment equips you to lead from a place of integrity, which creates deeper trust, influence, and authority with those around you.

It is not about doing more but about doing what matters most. When your inner and outer worlds are in sync, that is the key to sustainable growth.

If your business has outpaced your alignment and the gap between what you have built and how you feel about it is widening, book a 15-minute Strategy Call and explore what shifts when the leader and the business come back into sync.

To your brilliance,

Tanya Cross

Industry Leader Coach & The Coaches’ Coach

BAppSoSc (Counselling)

Tanya Cross Consulting

Does Your Profit Have This One Thing?

Tanya Cross on October 16, 2024

Profit without purpose is one of the most common patterns in leadership, and it is the one that leaves founders wondering why success still feels incomplete.

In the world of building and scaling a business, success is often measured by the bottom line, how much profit you are making.

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But for those driven by something deeper, the journey is about much more than numbers. It is about maximising profit while also fulfilling a deeper mission and unlocking the full potential of your business and yourself.

Your Profit Has a Purpose

Profit is essential for any business, but it is not about making money for the sake of it. We are not trading our integrity for income, nor giving away our service for free.

For founders, profit is a resource that enables you to do more, serve more, and reach more people. When you view profit through this lens, it becomes a tool for growth and expansion.

Your profit has a purpose. To maximise profit with purpose, you want to make sure you have a direction for the profit you make. Make meaning with your money.

Purpose Keeps the Direction Clear

Every business has a reason for being, but businesses built on service are often rooted in a desire to make a difference. Whether you are providing coaching or another form of service, your work likely stems from a calling to do what you do.

I know I have it. I cannot deny it. And I could not stop serving now even if everything was taken from me. I would find another way to serve. I know you have that in you, too.

Keeping your purpose front and centre of your mind ensures that your actions are aligned with your mission, and it helps you make decisions that are not only profitable but also meaningful.

This is what builds a business you are proud of, not one you want to walk away from.

Unlocking What Is Possible

So, how do you unlock your full potential in a business that is not only about revenue?

It requires more than effort alone. It requires self-awareness and a willingness to grow. It is about recognising that the limits you experience are often the ones you have not yet examined.

Another critical aspect of unlocking your potential is surrounding yourself with the support that fits. This could be in the form of mentors, coaches, or a community of founders who share your values. Having people who believe in you and your mission can provide the encouragement and guidance you need to move through obstacles.

On my own journey, what I have been able to do has been because of the people I have placed in my corner.

When Profit, Purpose, and Potential Align

The goal is to create a synergy between profit, purpose, and potential. While profit is the lifeblood of any business, purpose provides direction and meaning, and potential represents the boundless opportunities for growth and impact.

When profit, purpose, and potential are in balance, your business becomes more than a source of income. It becomes a powerful force for making a difference, and you are growing and evolving along the way.

This synergy of profit, purpose, and potential creates a ripple effect that extends far beyond your immediate sphere of influence. You are not only achieving financial success, but you are also making a lasting impact on your clients, your community, and the world.

Your life’s mission is to uncover your purpose and pour your energy into bringing it to life.

If your profit has been growing but the purpose behind it has not kept pace, that misalignment is worth a closer look. Book a 15-minute Strategy Call and explore what shifts when your profit and your purpose come back into alignment.

To your brilliance,

Tanya Cross

Industry Leader Coach & The Coaches’ Coach

BAppSoSc (Counselling)

Tanya Cross Consulting

Certainty as the Foundation of Your Leadership

Tanya Cross on October 9, 2024

When a leader’s certainty wavers, the first instinct is to reach for a new tactic. But the issue is rarely strategic. It is structural.

You have had success. You have earned the trust of clients. You have built something of substance.

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But lately, things have slowed down. New opportunities are not arriving as easily. In fact, the inbox is quieter. The momentum that once felt automatic now requires effort to sustain.

And the instinct, for most leaders, is to look outward. More tools. More visibility. More effort.

However, the pattern underneath is worth paying attention to. Because when a leader’s certainty wavers, everything downstream shifts with it.

What Certainty Looks Like in Leadership

Certainty is not bravado. It is not the loudest voice in the room or the fastest decision at the table.

Certainty is the quiet knowing that who you are and what you offer belong together. It is the settled quality that comes from alignment between your inner world and your outer world.

When that certainty is intact, decisions come with less friction. Conversations land with more weight. The work carries a presence that draws the right opportunities toward it.

When certainty wavers, even the best strategies feel flat.

The Pattern That Shows Up When It Shifts

There are a few signals that certainty has shifted:

You start second-guessing offers that used to feel grounded. You begin looking at what others are doing and measuring yourself against their model. You reach for a new course, a new framework, a new approach, not because you need it, but because the discomfort of the wobble is hard to sit with.

None of this is a capability problem. It is a certainty problem.

And the cost of not addressing it is not dramatic. It is slow. Rather, it is the quiet erosion of presence, clarity, and forward movement.

Why Tactics Do Not Solve This

More visibility will not restore certainty. A new offer will not restore it either.

Because certainty is not built from proof. It is built from alignment.

It comes from knowing your lane. Knowing what you stand for. Knowing that the work you do matters, not because the market validates it in any given week, but because it is connected to something deeper than a revenue target.

That is the foundation. And when it is solid, the external results tend to follow.

Certainty Brings Alignment. Alignment Brings Certainty.

This is the cycle that sustains a leader through every season, including the quiet ones.

When you are certain of who you are and what you are here to do, the decisions become clearer. The boundaries become easier to hold. The work becomes an extension of you rather than a performance you maintain.

And that certainty is not something you find once and keep without tending. It is something you return to, especially when the external signals get noisy.

The Quiet Seasons Are Not the Problem

The quiet season is not a sign that something has gone off course. It is often a signal that the next phase is asking for a deeper foundation.

Not more noise. More certainty.

If your certainty has wobbled and the instinct has been to reach for tactics instead of going inward, that pattern is worth examining. Book a 15-minute Strategy Call and explore what shifts when the foundation comes back.

To your brilliance,

Tanya Cross

Industry Leader Coach & The Coaches’ Coach

BAppSoSc (Counselling)

Tanya Cross Consulting

Have You Stalled?

Tanya Cross on October 2, 2024

When a leader’s growth has stalled, the instinct is to reach for more strategy. But the stall is rarely about strategy. It is about who is leading.

You have demonstrated your expertise and delivered exceptional results.

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After all, you have taken the leap to build your own business. You have earned trust, built a reputation, and created something of substance.

But the momentum has shifted. Growth has stalled, or the traction that once came naturally now requires more effort than it used to.

Even though your clients value your work, the business is not expanding the way you expected. And the instinct, for most leaders in this position, is to look outward. More visibility. More offers. More effort.

However, the stall is often telling you something different.

When the Strategy Is Not the Problem

There is a pattern that shows up at this stage. In fact, the leader has the skills, the experience, and the track record. None of that has changed.

What has changed is the relationship between who they are and what they are building.

The version of leadership that built the first chapter was designed for that chapter. It was responsive, driven, and willing to carry whatever was needed. But that same version of leadership has a ceiling. And the stall is often where that ceiling becomes visible.

What the Stall Is Asking of You

When growth has stalled, the question is not what do I need to do differently. It is who do I need to be differently.

Because at this level, the external strategies tend to work only when the internal alignment is in place. Without that, even the most focused plan feels flat.

The stall is not a sign of decline. It is a signal that the next phase of leadership is asking for something the current version of you has not yet made space for.

The Pattern Underneath the Plateau

Most leaders at this point have tried everything tactical. They have refined the offer. Adjusted the positioning. Invested in new tools and approaches.

And yet the needle has not moved.

In the end, that is because the plateau is not a business problem. It is an identity one. The leader who built this business is being asked to evolve into the leader who can take it further. And that evolution does not happen through more doing. It happens through deeper seeing.

The Next Chapter Does Not Require More of the Same

What got you here was drive, capacity, and commitment. Those qualities are not going anywhere.

But the next chapter is asking for something alongside them: clarity on what kind of leader this phase requires. Willingness to examine what has been running on autopilot. And the space to rebuild the foundation before adding more weight to it.

This is not about starting over. It is about growing into what the business is now asking for.

If growth has stalled and the tactics have not shifted it, the signal is worth a closer look. Book a 15-minute Strategy Call and explore what the stall is asking of the leader underneath the strategy.

To your brilliance,

Tanya Cross

Industry Leader Coach & The Coaches’ Coach

BAppSoSc (Counselling)

Tanya Cross Consulting

Navigating Change When the Layers Compound

Tanya Cross on September 24, 2024

Navigating change is part of leadership. But when multiple layers of your life shift at once, the stress does not stack. It amplifies.

I have been reflecting on the past three and a half years and what a journey it has been.

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During this time, I started a second business, bought two investment properties, navigated the end of a long-term relationship, and became a single mum. I also sold a portion of one company, entered into a business partnership, and handled a major direction change in that business, all while continuing to grow my consulting practice. And through most of it, I was raising a toddler who is now in the first year of school.

Looking back, these were not isolated personal changes. They happened during one of the most globally stressful periods in recent memory. Navigating change on that many fronts at once is a different kind of demand.

When Personal and Global Stress Collide

The financial challenges we face as individuals can be demanding enough on their own. But when they compound with global crises or a recession, the weight shifts.

This kind of stress is not additive. It is amplified. Personal stressors blend with larger global pressures, and suddenly the load feels disproportionate.

Financial pressure, for example, activates the brain’s fight, flight, or freeze response, flooding the system with cortisol and adrenaline. This is a natural reaction to immediate threats. However, when paired with global uncertainties like a pandemic or economic downturn, the stress response can go into overdrive. And you feel that in your body.

We saw this in 2020 when people across the world became more anxious, isolated, and unsure of their futures. The global nature of those challenges created an unprecedented sense of uncertainty, making existing financial stress feel insurmountable.

What Amplified Stress Does to Decision-Making

It is not a matter of facing double the stress. Research in psychology and behavioural economics shows that financial stress impairs decision-making and problem-solving abilities, creating a cycle that feeds on itself.

A study published in Psychological Science found that financial insecurity can cause a cognitive load that leads to poorer financial choices, which only increases the pressure. The compounded pressure makes clear thinking almost impossible at that point. Those who were already under financial strain experienced heightened anxiety and depression when a global crisis hit, especially if they felt powerless over their personal or global circumstances.

Navigating Change at the Identity Level

Beyond the psychological toll, amplified stress can challenge a leader’s identity and sense of self-worth, especially when self-worth has become entangled with financial performance.

Financial pressure often challenges how we see ourselves, questioning our competence and our capacity. When this stress is compounded by global events, it can lead to feelings of powerlessness and a declining sense of direction.

Erikson’s stages of development tell us that maintaining a sense of control and purpose is vital, particularly during periods of identity formation and reformation. Global crises, when combined with personal stress, can disrupt this process, leading to confusion, frustration, and an overwhelming sense of being untethered.

What Compounded Change Makes Possible

This amplification of stress, where personal struggles and global challenges combine, is not a theory. It is something many of us have experienced. And it will likely show up again in another form.

Acknowledging the root causes of stress, the pattern under the pattern, brings a deeper understanding of how to move through it. Because what goes through stress has the potential to grow.

If we can navigate the complexities of life, business, and self with awareness, we access the possibility for deeper growth and stronger leadership.

If you are navigating change on multiple fronts and the weight has shifted from manageable to amplified, that is not a capacity problem. It is a compounding one. Book a 15-minute Strategy Call and explore what becomes possible when you address the layers, not the surface.

To your brilliance,

Tanya Cross

Industry Leader Coach & The Coaches’ Coach

BAppSoSc (Counselling)

Tanya Cross Consulting

What Are Your Two Things?

Tanya Cross on September 16, 2024

The two things that drive your leadership are worth naming, because they shape how you build, how you serve, and how you lead when no one is watching.

Last weekend, in a training session with over 400 participants, we were split into small groups. The task was to create a business in eight minutes: name, concept, and strategy for bringing it to market.

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I suggested an idea, and the group embraced it. When it was time for the room to vote (and we could not vote for our own), they cheered and whistled for it.

It was not a validation of the idea alone but a reminder of why I love coaching: the ability to spark insights that lead to meaningful shifts.

Business is not about tactics or numbers alone. It is not about chasing success for its own sake. It is about creating value that resonates with the heart and needs of those you serve. When you see the potential in others and help them shift their perspectives, something becomes clear. They can raise their authority with confidence, articulate their expertise, and take their clients on a journey toward meaningful outcomes.

Where the Two Things Come From

The moment in the room reminded me of my roots, and how I learned the values that shape the way I work today.

Growing up, I would come home from school and see my dad at the dining table, meticulously balancing his books and writing cheques. At the time, I did not fully understand the depth of what he was teaching me. But he was quietly showing me the discipline, focus, and perseverance required to build a meaningful business.

On the other hand, my mum instilled in me the power of service and devotion. I still remember her waking up at 4 a.m. to pray, her dedication unwavering. Now in her mid-80s, she remains devoted, continuing to inspire me with the values she has lived by.

Business and Service as Two Things That Shape Leadership

These two things, business and service, are central to who I am. For me, business is more than a profession. It is where I am energised, where I am inspired, and where I create my deepest impact.

And this is not unique to me. Most leaders I work with carry a version of this same duality: the discipline that built what they have, and the purpose that keeps them in it.

What Happens When You Lead from Both

When we focus on serving others and meeting their needs, the market naturally opens up. The ability to contribute is present. You have to find the connection point.

By aligning with what people are seeking, we create solutions that resonate and make a lasting difference. That is the deeper power of business: it is not about what we do alone, but how we connect with those we serve.

What Are Your Two Things?

So I ask you: what are the two things (or three) that drive you? What are the needs you can meet? What solutions can you offer that will create meaningful change for those around you?

When you find those answers, you clarify not only the direction of your business but the path toward lasting impact.

If you have not named your two things yet, or if they have shifted and the alignment has not caught up, book a 15-minute Strategy Call and explore what becomes possible when the foundation is clear.

To your brilliance,

Tanya Cross

Industry Leader Coach & The Coaches’ Coach

BAppSoSc (Counselling)

Tanya Cross Consulting

Being Different Is Your Leadership Edge

Tanya Cross on September 10, 2024

Being different is something most leaders remember from childhood, and it is often the quality they spent the longest trying to hide before realising it was the source of their influence.

With 15 years of working with leaders and business owners, the one common statement I hear from most of them is this:

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I have known since I was young that I am different.

The feeling of being different, of not quite fitting in with those around them. Whether it was a feeling inside, a knowing they had a unique perspective on the world, there was an early experience of feeling out of place.

This was the seed of their future impact and influence. These future leaders often found themselves standing apart from their peers.

The Early Signal of Being Different

I used to wear a jumper in the middle of summer in Melbourne. I stopped drinking at 18 when those around me started. I wanted to go against the crowd.

One client who is a significant force in their industry was the child who asked too many questions in class, challenging the teacher with ideas that went beyond what the classroom covered.

For many leaders, and perhaps this is true for you too, this sense of difference was not comfortable. Being different can be isolating, especially during childhood and teen years when the pressure to conform is strong. We want to fit in, to be like those around us, to avoid standing out in a way that might attract unwanted attention or judgment.

However, for those who carried this feeling of being different, it was a sign of something deeper: a unique perspective or a different way of thinking that, if nurtured, would become a powerful leadership quality.

The Burden and the Blessing

Feeling different can be both a weight and a gift. On one hand, it can lead to feelings of loneliness, self-doubt, and a desire to hide who you are in order to fit in. On the other hand, this very difference is often the source of a leader’s deepest strengths.

The discomfort of not fitting in develops a strong sense of identity. And during the formative years, that is precisely what is happening: you are shaping your identity and forming your individuality.

Embracing that difference rather than suppressing it is what allows a leader to step into their capacity.

Leaders Who Leaned Into Their Difference

Consider Steve Jobs. As a child, Jobs had a reputation as a misfit. He was drawn to technology and design, but he was not the easiest person to get along with. He had a different way of thinking and often found himself in conflict with others.

But instead of trying to fit in, Jobs leaned into his difference. He embraced his unconventional ideas and used them to create products that were not functional alone but beautiful and intuitive. His ability to think differently, his refusal to accept the status quo, was a key factor in his success as the co-founder of Apple. Being different was not the obstacle. It was the foundation.

Similarly, challenges and a sense of being different marked Oprah Winfrey’s early life. Growing up in poverty, experiencing hardship, and navigating self-worth, Winfrey could have let her circumstances overwhelm her. Instead, she used those experiences as fuel. Her ability to connect with people on a deep level became what she shared with the world. Her uniqueness became her platform.

Being Different Is the Edge

Being different is not a quality to be hidden. It is one to cultivate.

The traits that set these leaders apart from others in their youth became the source of their depth in adulthood. The leaders who have made the deepest impact are those who were not afraid to be different.

They were the ones who, as children, felt like they did not quite fit in, but who later recognised that this very difference was their edge.

If that feeling of being different has been something you have carried quietly, and the leadership you are building has not yet caught up with who you are underneath the conformity, book a 15-minute Strategy Call and explore what shifts when you stop suppressing it and start leading from it.

To your brilliance,

Tanya Cross

Industry Leader Coach & The Coaches’ Coach

BAppSoSc (Counselling)

Tanya Cross Consulting

The Obligation to Serve

Tanya Cross on September 4, 2024

The obligation to serve is one of the most misunderstood forces in leadership, and most high-capacity leaders carry it without ever naming it.

What I notice with many of the leaders I work with, in coaching and in one-on-one sessions, is a deep, intrinsic drive to serve. But it goes beyond affection for the work. It is a profound obligation to serve.

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Not an obligation that binds, restricts, or ties you down. Instead, it is an obligation that frees you, expands your vision, and connects you to something much larger than yourself.

When the Obligation to Serve Reveals Itself

There comes a moment in life when you recognise that your journey is not about your own growth, achievements, or success alone. It is about a purpose that transcends personal ambition. It is about what you can contribute to others.

This is not about “what is in it for me,” but rather, “what is in me that I can offer the world?”

In fact, you have a great deal to offer the world. Do not let it go unshared.

This deep obligation to serve is not a fleeting thought. It is a calling that resonates at the core of who you are.

You feel pulled towards serving because you understand that your life, with its experiences, challenges, and insights, holds the potential to make a significant impact on the world around you.

What Your Experiences Prepared You For

When you have walked through the fire and emerged on the other side, you gain a unique perspective, one that is invaluable and worth sharing. The lessons you have gathered were not for you alone. They were for you to pass on, to help others grow, thrive, and step into their capacity.

This is what it means to lead through service.

As a leader, you are in a unique position. The obligation to serve is not about fulfilling a need or solving a problem alone. It is about creating a depth of impact that extends beyond your immediate reach.

When you serve from this place of deep obligation, you are not running a business. You are shaping something that outlasts you.

The Calling to Serve That Led Me Here

I carry this same obligation. I know I was born to share the work I do, born to make a difference with it, because life’s experiences have led me here. To the work. And to you.

So, do you feel that way about serving?

When you choose to serve, you acknowledge that your life is part of a greater whole, and that your actions have the power to create change far beyond what you might imagine. By lifting others, you also lift yourself.

However, the deeper reward of service lies not in external recognition, but in the quiet, settled sense of fulfilment that comes from knowing you have made a difference.

The Obligation That Sets You Free

Embrace this deep obligation to serve. Make it a core part of not only your leadership but your life.

As you move forward on your path, remember this: the obligation to serve is not a burden. It is a privilege. It is what aligns your leadership with who you are at the deepest level.

If the obligation to serve has been stirring and you are ready to lead from that place with more clarity, book a 15-minute Strategy Call and explore what becomes possible when your leadership and your calling are fully aligned.

To your brilliance,

Tanya Cross

Industry Leader Coach & The Coaches’ Coach

BAppSoSc (Counselling)

Tanya Cross Consulting

Assumptions I Did Not See

Tanya Cross on August 28, 2024

The assumptions running your leadership are often the ones you have not questioned, and they shape more than you realise.

Picture this: I am driving with my daughter in the back seat, and Justin is sitting next to her. We are on our way to the airport, and everything seems to be going smoothly, until I make a wrong turn.

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Suddenly, instead of heading straight to our destination, we are winding through the city streets, adding time to our journey.

As we are stopped at a red light, I glance out the window and see a school sign that reads, “Our Lady of Mount Camel.”

Puzzled, I turned to Justin and said, “Mount Camel? That is a new one. I have not heard of it in Australia.”

Justin, equally perplexed, agrees. “Yeah, that is odd,” he replies, and Bonnie joins in. We all start chuckling, imagining a school dedicated to camels.

As the light turns green, and we start moving again, Justin does a double-take and says, “Wait, it is not Camel. It is Carmel.”

By this time, the school is behind us, and I cannot go back to double-check. But I was certain that the sign said “Camel.” I read it. Justin read it. How could we both have been mistaken? The same assumptions were running in both of us.

So what did we do? We turned to Google for answers. Within seconds, Justin found that the school was indeed called “Our Lady of Mount Carmel,” not Camel.

Somehow, I had misread it, and my conviction was so strong that I influenced Justin to see it the same way. That is how assumptions work. They do not ask for permission.

Why This Matters Beyond the Story

Now, here is why this matters to your leadership. This small, seemingly insignificant moment is a powerful illustration of how our perceptions can be deeply influenced by bias, and how those biases can ripple out to impact others.

Perhaps I had animals or camels on my mind. Who knows?

As leaders, we often find ourselves in situations where we need to make quick decisions. Our brains, wired for efficiency, often fill in gaps based on what we think we know. However, these snap judgments, while sometimes useful, can be misleading if they are not based on solid evidence.

Where Assumptions Show Up in Leadership

Think about it: how often do you make decisions based on assumptions rather than facts?

Perhaps you assume you know what your clients want because it is what they have asked for in the past. Or you are convinced that a certain strategy will work because it did once before. Maybe you are so certain about a particular direction that you do not even consider alternative options. But what if the landscape has shifted?

In leadership, assumptions can lead you off your path. You might overlook critical information, dismiss a valuable opportunity, or steer your decisions in a direction that does not serve your goals.

The lesson here is not to avoid snap judgments alone but to actively question your perceptions. When you are sure you have something figured out, whether it is a client’s needs, a strategy, or a market trend, take a moment to step back and verify it. Are you seeing things as they are, or are you letting assumptions cloud your judgment?

The Habit That Changes the Pattern

This is where the power of evidence, feedback, and external perspectives comes into play. Do not rely on what you think you know. Or on someone else’s certainty.

Gather evidence, seek out diverse perspectives, and be open to the possibility that you might need to adjust your course. You might discover that what you initially thought was “Camel” is “Carmel,” a subtle but significant difference that can change the direction of your leadership.

In the end, this is not about avoiding missteps. It is about expanding your capacity. By fostering a habit of questioning your assumptions and seeking clarity, you set yourself up to make more informed, grounded decisions that move your leadership forward.

So, the next time you find yourself convinced you have something figured out, whether it is a new direction, a client’s request, or even your long-term strategy, pause and take a closer look. You might uncover Mount Carmel, where you were expecting Mount Camel, a more accurate path that leads you exactly where you want to go. The assumptions were the detour. The questioning is what corrects the course.

If your assumptions have been running unchecked and the decisions are not landing where you expected, book a 15-minute Strategy Call and explore what shifts when you question what you think you see.

To your brilliance,

Tanya Cross

Industry Leader Coach & The Coaches’ Coach

BAppSoSc (Counselling)

Tanya Cross Consulting

Your Inner Voice in Leadership

Tanya Cross on August 21, 2024

Your inner voice is one of the most underused instruments in your leadership, and it did not get quiet by accident. It got quiet because the outside voices got louder.

When the outer voice dominates, the inner voice diminishes.

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Smash through growth ceilings,
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That sentence is worth sitting with, because most leaders I work with have experienced it without naming it.

You built something significant. Along the way, you learned to gather input. Advisors, mentors, boards, peers, coaches, market signals. All of it useful. All of it well-intentioned.

But at some point, the volume of outside voices started to exceed the signal of your own knowing. And the inner voice, the one that used to guide your decisions with clarity, started to withdraw.

How the Inner Voice Gets Buried

It does not happen dramatically. It happens incrementally.

You consult one more person before making the call. You gather one more opinion before committing. You read one more perspective before acting. Each one feels responsible. Each one feels thorough.

However, the cumulative effect is that your own sense of direction gets diluted. The more people you seek, the greater the confusion, not because they are giving you the wrong input, but because no external voice knows your full context. No one else has walked your exact path, carried your specific weight, or seen what you have seen from the inside of your own leadership.

Only your inner knowing holds that information.

The Difference Between Instinct and Inner Knowing

There is a distinction worth drawing here.

Instinct is reactive. It is the part of you that pulls away from risk, avoids discomfort, and seeks safety. It served you well in the early chapters when the structure was fragile and the stakes felt existential.

Your inner voice is different. It is not reactive. It is settled. It does not operate from fear or urgency. It speaks from a deeper place, one that accounts for who you are, what you value, and what the next phase of your leadership is asking for.

Most leaders can feel the difference when they slow down enough to notice. Instinct feels like contraction. Inner knowing feels like clarity.

What Happens When You Stop Listening

When a leader disconnects from their inner voice, the decisions start to feel heavier. Not because the decisions are more complex, but because the internal compass is no longer contributing.

You second-guess more. You delay more. You defer to others and then feel unsettled with the outcome, because the answer did not come from you.

Over time, the pattern compounds. The inner voice gets quieter. The outside voices get louder. And the leader starts to feel like they have lost their edge, when what they have lost is access to their own knowing.

Returning to the Inner Voice

This is not about shutting out advice or dismissing external perspective. It is about restoring the balance.

When you quiet the noise, when you create the conditions for presence and stillness, the inner voice does not need to be rebuilt. It is still there. It has been there the entire time. It was waiting for the space to speak.

The leaders I work with who operate with the most clarity are not the ones with the best advisors. They are the ones who have learned to listen to themselves first and consult others second.

Gratitude, presence, and stillness are what open the channel. When the mind settles, the knowing surfaces. And when it does, it tends to be clear, grounded, and precise.

The Question Worth Sitting With

If your decisions have been feeling heavier than they should, and the outside input has not been landing the way you expected, the issue may not be the quality of the advice.

It may be that your inner voice has been drowned out by the volume.

If that pattern is familiar and you are ready to hear what your own knowing has been trying to tell you, book a 15-minute Strategy Call and explore what shifts when you start leading from the inside out.

To your brilliance,

Tanya Cross

Industry Leader Coach & The Coaches’ Coach

BAppSoSc (Counselling)

Tanya Cross Consulting

Follow Your Knowing

Tanya Cross on August 7, 2024

To follow your knowing as a leader, you first have to recognise that your body has been giving you data your mind has been trained to override.

There is a signal most leaders have experienced but few have learned to trust.

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A moment of deep certainty that arrives without a spreadsheet behind it. A pull toward a direction that your logic has not yet validated. A physical response, goosebumps, a settling in the chest, a quiet clarity, that shows up before the analysis is complete.

Most leaders have felt this. And most have learned to dismiss it. The alignment signal was there. They chose not to follow it.

The Alignment Signal Your Body Is Sending

Your body responds to alignment before your mind has finished processing the options. This is not abstract. It is physiological.

When something lands in a way that is deeply congruent with who you are and where you are heading, the body registers it. Sometimes it is goosebumps. Sometimes it is a warmth in the chest. Sometimes it is a pull that does not have a rational explanation but carries more weight than the spreadsheet.

Science describes part of this as kama muta, a Sanskrit term for the feeling of being deeply moved. It involves a sudden sense of closeness, connection, or recognition, and it is often accompanied by tears, goosebumps, or a sensation of warmth in the centre of the chest.

This is not sentiment. It is information. It is one of the clearest alignment signals available to you.

Why Leaders Override the Signal

High-capacity leaders are trained in analysis. They are rewarded for logic, rigour, and evidence-based decisions. And that training serves them well, until it becomes the only channel they trust.

However, the body’s signals are not the opposite of logic. They are a different layer of intelligence operating alongside it. The issue is that most leaders have spent decades prioritising one channel and dismissing the other. When you follow your knowing alongside the data, the decision carries both rigour and resonance.

The result is decisions that are technically sound but feel flat. Directions that look correct on paper but carry no energy behind them. Strategies that tick the boxes but do not generate momentum, because the leader’s knowing was not consulted in the process. When leaders stop following their knowing, the decisions lose something logic cannot replace.

The Difference Between Instinct and Knowing

This distinction matters.

Instinct is the reactive pull toward safety. It contracts. It avoids. It protects you from perceived danger, and it served you well in earlier chapters.

Knowing is different. It does not contract. It settles. It arrives with a quiet certainty that is not defensive or reactive. It is the signal that something is aligned with who you are and where you are going, even if the path forward is not fully visible yet.

Learning to distinguish between the two is part of the deeper work of leadership at this level. It is what allows you to follow your knowing with confidence rather than confusion.

What It Looks Like to Follow Your Knowing

I have been tracking these moments since 2009. Not every one, but enough to see what is consistent. What themes keep surfacing. What direction the body keeps pointing toward when the mind is quiet enough to listen.

Some of the messages have been profound. Directions that seemed bold at the time but turned out to be precisely where the next phase was waiting.

When you follow your knowing and align it with the work you do, something shifts. Decisions carry more weight. The work feels purposeful. You stop performing and start leading from a place that is congruent with who you are.

How to Start Reading Your Body Intelligence

This does not require a new system. It requires paying attention to what your body has been telling you.

Notice when something lands with weight. Notice when a conversation, a direction, or a decision produces a physical response that goes beyond intellectual agreement. That is data. That is your body intelligence at work.

And begin to record it. Over time, the pattern becomes visible. What your knowing has been pointing toward starts to form a picture that your mind could not have assembled on its own.

If you have been overriding these signals and the decisions have felt heavier than they should, that disconnect is worth exploring. Book a 15-minute Strategy Call and discover what shifts when you follow your knowing instead of overriding it.

To your brilliance,

Tanya Cross

Industry Leader Coach & The Coaches’ Coach

BAppSoSc (Counselling)

Tanya Cross Consulting

Lessons From My Hike

Tanya Cross on August 1, 2024

The lessons that shift your leadership are rarely the ones you plan for. They tend to arrive when the plan falls apart.

Last Wednesday night, at 12 am, I crawled up the last three flights of stairs, dragging myself into my apartment.

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My pants are collecting a white, powdery substance as my knees scrape against the concrete floor. How did it come to this point?

I had been pondering, finding meaning in the mystery for days.

It was my first time off. No business, clients, family, or obligations. All the things that would fill my own cup in a long time.

I had planned a trip, booked flights, arranged accommodation, and even convinced a friend to come with me. The Great Ocean Walk, stretching 104 kilometres from Apollo Bay to the Twelve Apostles in Victoria, was our destination.

Imagine Antarctic winter winds thrashing the coastline and rain that does not fall softly from the sky but needles down at a 45-degree angle. It is not for the faint-hearted.

I embarked on this journey with the intention of doing my own Power Walkshop, to uncover my power and purpose, for myself.

But as I started walking, it became evident that, despite my efforts to stop and savour the moments, this would not follow the Power Walkshop lessons. The walk had its own lessons instead.

Day One: The Rainbows

Day one was filled with rainbows. One rainbow that arched from one side of the land to another, a double rainbow, a waterfall rainbow. So many that I lost count. It was like walking in a place where the ordinary rules did not apply, with no phone reception and nothing but the path ahead.

Lesson one: The beauty of the rainbows reminded me that sometimes, the most significant experiences happen when we least expect them. But you need a little challenge with the rain, and support with the sun, to see them.

Day Two: The Storm

Things shifted to another level on the second day. The day was meant for 25 millilitres of rain and 42 kilometre winds, and the anticipation kept me up at night.

The wind and rain seemed to echo my inner turmoil, and I found myself questioning my life: who am I, what am I doing, where am I going, and what is most important?

As we walked in the inclement weather, we often found ourselves on the path between bushes. The wind howled around us and the rain came in sideways, but it did not land on us.

Lesson two: I recognised that it was a symbol of being in the eye of the storm in the outside world, but internally, centred and calm. I can endure a great deal on the outside, but keep on walking.

Day Three: The Lesson in Stopping

By the third day, my body had said, enough. You must rest. I had a blister the size of Tasmania and as red as a ripe cherry, throbbing with each step.

I could have pushed on through the pain like I had seen when walking the Camino in Spain. Many walked through their suffering and soldiered on.

But I did not feel that was my lesson.

Lesson three: Sometimes stopping is a form of success, and sometimes not finishing is the wisest decision. Sometimes, you have to say no to get what you need.

The Lessons the Solitude Revealed

On the third and fourth days, while my friend hiked on her own, I sat in solitude to find myself.

I reflected on my word for the year, which was “Emerge.” I felt like I was doing well to emerge from my cocoon but I was uncertain about being exposed.

My red, raw, and exposed wound was a sign that it was time to own it and be comfortable with whatever was said about me. As my foot would heal, any discomfort I might experience from emerging into the wider world would, in time, heal too.

As I made my way up the stairs to my apartment, covered in the residue of the journey, I recognised something worth holding.

If someone on the walk could not complete the hike, staying behind would bring its own lessons, ones that were precisely what they needed. Because it was in the struggle and the solitude that the moments of clarity arrived.

It was in the appreciation of my life and the understanding that every step, no matter how demanding, was part of my path.

The lessons from this walk were not the ones I planned. They were the ones I needed. If your leadership has been in motion without pause and the lessons have not had space to land, book a 15-minute Strategy Call and explore what becomes visible when you stop long enough to see it.

To your brilliance,

Tanya Cross

Industry Leader Coach & The Coaches’ Coach

BAppSoSc (Counselling)

Tanya Cross Consulting

The Shift Is Not the End

Tanya Cross on July 15, 2024

A shift in perspective is not the end of the work. It is where the next phase of your leadership begins.

To grow as a leader, it is valuable to find meaning in the moments of your life. You are engaging in deep, reflective thinking, and then you experience a moment of clarity, a shift.

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A shift signifies a transformation from one perspective to another. It is not the end. It is the beginning.

In fact, each breakthrough brings you closer to your own clarity.

What a Shift Looks Like From the Inside

Every shift is accompanied by a moment of recognition, those instances where you see how what felt like an obstacle was part of the direction. Seeing how these moments fit into the greater perspective of your life is a powerful experience.

Imagine your brain as a large puzzle with scattered pieces. Each piece represents bits of information, experiences, and knowledge you have accumulated over time.

A shift occurs when your brain suddenly connects several of these pieces in a new and meaningful way. It is like finding the pieces and snapping them together to reveal a clearer picture.

Why the Shift Arrives When You Least Expect It

Often, through the work we do and the questions we ask, our minds work on problems in the background, even when we are not actively thinking about them. This is why these moments of clarity can come unexpectedly, like when you are taking a walk or sitting in stillness.

When you experience a shift, your brain releases a burst of neurotransmitters, particularly dopamine. This chemical surge reinforces the new connection you have made, which is why these moments feel so clarifying.

The Shift Changes How You See

As the puzzle pieces fit together, you start to see how different aspects of your life or a particular challenge are interconnected. You experience a shift. Your perception of yourself and the world around you changes.

As a result, you have changed.

This broader understanding helps you recognise that what you have experienced is part of a greater purpose, a part of a larger pattern in your life. In essence, a shift is your brain’s way of showing you a new perspective by connecting previously unrelated information, leading to a sudden and grounded realisation.

There Is No Going Back

With each shift, you recognise you cannot go back to your old way of thinking. You have been expanded and now see the world through new eyes.

And so you move forward, integrating this newfound understanding and perspective into a new way of leading.

There is no end to the shifts, the moments of clarity, and the growth. After all, growth does not reach a ceiling and stop. It continues to remodel, reshape, and reveal. And so does your leadership.

If a shift has been stirring and you are not yet sure what it is asking of you, book a 15-minute Strategy Call and explore what becomes visible on the other side of it.

To your brilliance,

Tanya Cross

Industry Leader Coach & The Coaches’ Coach

BAppSoSc (Counselling)

Tanya Cross Consulting

Warped Perception and the Leadership Standard You Carry

Tanya Cross on June 28, 2024

A warped perception does not announce itself. It installs early, reinforces quietly, and becomes the standard the leader measures everything against.

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This Warped My Perception

I was at the shops with Bonnie over the weekend when she picked up a Barbie doll. She was engrossed, putting its shoes back on and playing with it in the store.

And as I watched her, something landed.

Because she was absorbing a picture of what a woman is supposed to look like. Not from a conversation. Not from a lesson. From the shape of a toy in her hands.

In fact, it made me think about how the same process runs underneath leadership. Not with dolls. With models.

Where the Warped Perception Comes From

After all, leaders carry an image of what leadership is supposed to look like. Confident. Certain. Composed under pressure. Available at all hours. Carrying the weight without showing the cost.

No one chose that image. The leader absorbed it. Rather, from the leaders who came before. From the culture of the industry. From the quiet expectations of boards, clients, and teams who needed someone to look like they had it handled.

Over time, the absorbed image becomes the standard. And the standard becomes the filter through which the leader measures themselves. Not against what is true. Against what was modelled.

And so this is the warped perception most leaders do not see. The image they are trying to match was not accurate. Others projected it based on what they needed to see, not on what leadership requires.

The Cost of Performing a Version That Was Not Yours

When the standard is warped, the performance follows.

The leader who believes leadership means certainty stops asking questions. The leader who believes leadership means composure stops expressing what is happening underneath. The leader who believes leadership means availability stops protecting the space they need to think clearly.

In fact, this is the Success Persona. The version of the leader the environment shaped to match what it required, not what the leader needed to lead well.

And the body holds the cost of the performance. The calendar holds the evidence. And the leader keeps measuring themselves against an image that would not survive contact with the reality of what they carry.

How the Warped Perception Shifts

However, the shift does not start with doing more. It starts with seeing the model clearly.

So where did the image come from. Whose version of leadership is it. And what would change if the leader stopped trying to match it and started leading from what is true for them.

The warped perception is not a failure of character. It is a pattern the leader absorbed early, reinforced often, and left unexamined because they were too busy performing to question the standard.

Once the leader sees the perception for what it is, the leader stops trying to match an image that was not theirs. As a result, the version of leadership that emerges is more grounded, more sustainable, and more effective than the performance it replaces.

The Standard Changes When the Leader Does

The history of beauty standards shows how quickly the ideal shifts. After all, what was aspirational in one decade becomes outdated in the next. And the same is true of leadership.

The stoic, always-on model of leadership belonged to a context that no longer exists. But the leaders still performing it are paying a price that compounds quietly.

But the leaders who see the warped perception for what it is get to put it down. Not because the old model served no purpose. Because the leader borrowed it. Because borrowed models stop fitting once the leader outgrows the context they came from.

Ultimately, the question is whether the leader is willing to see the image they have been matching and decide if it is still theirs to carry.

If you are leading from a model you did not choose and the cost is starting to show, book a 15-minute Strategy Call and explore what shifts when the performance stops and the leader underneath it steps forward.

To your brilliance,

Tanya Cross

Industry Leader Coach & The Coaches’ Coach

BAppSoSc (Counselling)

Tanya Cross Consulting

Procastinate

Tanya Cross on June 24, 2024

Yeah, you put things off, more than you’d like. And your list piles up on top of you.

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Your reaction: go make another cup of tea and watch the end of a TV Series (that you just started and have hours to go to get to the end).

Let’s go make another cup of tea and watch the end of a TV Series (that you just started and have hours to go to get to the end).

Procrastination eats you alive.

English writer Edward Young, in his 10,000-line poem entitled: The Complaint: or Night-Thoughts on Life, Death, & Immortality, said, “Procrastination is the thief of time.”

It makes you think about being wise with your time, as life and opportunities can slip away quickly.

But that doesn’t change your behaviour.

The inaction of procrastination is something most people dislike, even going as far as ‘hate’ about themselves. And if they had a magic wand, they’d want it to disappear yesterday.

Why do people dislike it so much?

It’s because it has a behavioural spillover that affects other areas of life.

Procrastinate by not doing your work, then you lay in bed Netflixing, you then don’t move your body, you eat more than your daily quota, and you don’t get your brain thinking. Instead, other people do the thinking for you with whatever you’re watching on Netflix, and it ain’t universal principles; it’s fantasies and fairytales.

Then, the culmination of all of that is that you feel you wasted time and, even more so, your potential.

What does it mean to procrastinate?

It’s intentionally and habitually delaying or putting off doing something till a later time.

People procrastinate because of many reasons, such as those listed below:

The task is too long/complicated/boring/not important/just don’t like it.
They prefer to choose to do their own seemingly pleasurable activities.
They are too over-confident and cocky and believe that they have enough time or competency to complete the task.
They have a ‘care less’ attitude and believe that nothing will happen if they don’t do their work and that people or relationships won’t be affected.
They procrastinate due to nothing else but pure laziness.

So, if you look at the problem under the problem, you’ll see procrastination is the byproduct of something deeper.

You’re not thinking about the future self (check out the post on that one here).

And you’re not able to regulate your mood, like feeling stressed around a piece of work you have to do, and you choose to avoid it, act like it doesn’t exist, knowing full well that it is still there when you peek up over the blanket later.

When you’re able to regulate your mood, you draw the connection between present and future selves and are more able to make wiser decisions.

When you’re on a downward, negative spiral, expect procrastination to continue. (create a paragraph here) Procrastination is an antidote that doesn’t deliver relief. I gotta give it to you straight.

Yet, before we go down the doom and gloom path, like anything, there is an upside to procrastination. Some people prefer time pressure and, therefore, intentionally procrastinate. They have a rush of excitement to get it done in a short period of time and feel accomplished.

Yet, if we delve deeper into this, it could be pride and self-righteousness in feeling smart that leaves to do the task at the last minute. (Soz for seeing the down side so quickly).

Now, this is the opposite of people who procrastinate, which means doing the task way before it needs to be. This could be because of feeling self wrongeuous, sacred of failure and worried about making mistakes.

Studies on procrastination have determined that those who procrastinate are easily distracted by more interesting or fun activities. They’d prefer to seek pleasure than do the hard yards.

They intentionally place more pleasing activities ahead of appointments or deadlines.

Plus, procrastinating individuals tend to sleep, watch television, or play instead of working on more important things in order to distract or distance themselves from responsibilities.

The more you dislike a task, the more you’ll procrastinate and tend to choose more interesting activities instead of working.

Distracting oneself from responsibilities also gives “an out” if one fails at that task. It means you don’t have to go through the pain of failure, just the pain of never starting.

For example, if you have an extremely difficult task, like setting up a new business, writing a book, or doing prep work for a new and challenging client, and you’re afraid of failing, you can protect self-worth or self-esteem by giving an outside excuse or external distracter for failing.

Thus, distraction with another activity, blaming failure on said activity. “I was too busy helping the kids, and I didn’t have time to work.”

Therefore, a unique characteristic of procrastinators is that they tend to immerse themselves in distractions.

So, how do you snap out of this illusion?

Stack up the benefits of what you’d like to do until you’re chomping at the bits to do it.
Say a new mantra, “I have a do it done now attitude” and see things shift.

That’s it for now. I’ve got some Demartini Method application content creation to do for the Maximum Growth Academy that I’ve used every excuse in the book, even had Bonnie get sick, but “I have a do it done now attitude.”

No time like the present.

Tanya x

Leadership Coach & Master Certified Demartini Method Facilitator

BAppSoSc (Counselling)

Maximum Growth

Have You Heard Of Peter Pan Syndrome?

Tanya Cross on June 18, 2024

Have you heard of Peter Pan Syndrome?

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It’s when individuals struggle to mature emotionally and mentally in certain areas of their lives despite growing physically and chronologically.

Imagine an individual who excels in their career, perhaps growing a business or even climbing the corporate ladder.

On the surface, they appear successful, dedicated, and driven.

However, beneath this façade of accomplishment lies a reluctance to fully embrace the responsibilities and challenges that come with adult career life…

While they may excel in their specific job tasks, they struggle with broader aspects of professional maturity, such as taking initiative, leadership, or adapting to new roles or environments.

This individual may resist stepping out of their comfort zone or taking on additional responsibilities, preferring the safety and familiarity of their current position.

As a result, despite outward signs of success, they may find themselves stagnating in their career growth, unable or unwilling to pursue opportunities for advancement or personal development.

This is also known as Arrested Development.

This phenomenon manifests in various aspects, such as relationships, responsibilities, and emotional regulations.

Here’s an overview of why it happens and how it manifests:

1. Developmental Trauma: Early life experiences, such as trauma, neglect, or inconsistent caregiving, can disrupt normal emotional and psychological development. These experiences may create a sense of insecurity or fear, leading individuals to avoid emotional intimacy or responsibility as a way to protect themselves.
2. Overprotective Parenting: Sometimes, overprotective or indulgent parenting can hinder a child’s ability to develop independence and autonomy. These individuals may have grown accustomed to having their needs met without having to take responsibility for themselves, leading to a reluctance to face adult challenges.
3. Fear of Failure or Rejection: Some individuals may fear failure or rejection in adult roles or relationships, leading them to avoid situations that could trigger these fears. As a result, they may cling to behaviours or interests associated with childhood as a way to avoid facing these anxieties.
4. Spouse Financially Taking Care Of You: Some individuals may become reliant on their partner to fulfil their financial needs, allowing them to avoid taking responsibility for themselves. This dependence can reinforce a sense of immaturity or reliance on others, inhibiting their ability to develop independence and autonomy.
5. Cultural Factors: Societal norms and expectations can also influence the development of Peter Pan Syndrome. In cultures that prioritize youthfulness or where there is a lack of clear rites of passage into adulthood, individuals may feel less pressure to mature and may prolong behaviours associated with adolescence or childhood.
6. Coping Mechanisms: For some individuals, arrested development serves as a coping mechanism for dealing with stress, anxiety, or other mental health issues. Engaging in activities or behaviours associated with childhood may provide temporary relief from adult responsibilities or emotional distress.

There are many factors that influence Peter Pan Syndrome. It’s a complex interplay of psychological, developmental, and environmental factors that can impede individuals’ ability to fully mature and navigate adulthood effectively.

Why do you want to be aware of Peter Pan Syndrome?

If we are not willing to lean into the responsibility that comes with creating and growing a business, it will be the growth ceiling that keeps us in the status quo.

If you avoid adult responsibilities such as financial management.

For some people, there can be a part that doesn’t want to let go of things associated with childhood, such as video games.

There can be a reluctance to confront or address personal issues or challenges, instead preferring to escape or avoid them.

Which may be why some people struggle to move forward because they are attached to the past.

Human behaviour is complex, and understanding the psychological concepts that impact an individual will help you provide valuable insights into not only your own life but those you work with.

By recognizing the underlying factors that contribute to certain behaviours or patterns, we can better understand why people think, feel, and act the way they do.

This understanding enables you to find the problem under the problem and heal with a deeper awareness.

Tanya x

Leadership Coach & Master Certified Demartini Method Facilitator

BAppSoSc (Counselling)

Maximum Growth

This Concept Affects Your Life

Tanya Cross on June 13, 2024

“[Man] is always becoming a new being and undergoing a process of loss and reparation, which affects his soul as well. No man’s character, habits, opinions, desires, pleasures, pains, and fears remain the same; new ones come into existence, and old ones disappear.”

Heraclitus

Oh, the wisdom in this one statement.

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Human beings are never static.

Yes, never.

Our pleasures, pains, and fears are in a state of transformation.

Even our opinions, thoughts and desires.

It is the reality of your human psychology.

You know this because your brain is malleable, continually influenced by new experiences and learning.

You can change habits, learn new skills, and adapt to new environments, no matter who you are, your age, or your life experience.

If life is continually transforming, why are there times in life when it is hard to change?

This is the paradox of life.

We are biologically equipped to adapt and evolve. Our brains have neuroplasticity.

But yet we have a resistance to change. Despite this inherent adaptability, we, at times, don’t want to change.

We seek stability and predictability over uncertainty.

We desire a sense of safety and security.

We want to cling to our current identities even if they’re not who we want to be anymore, fearing that change could lead to loss or uncertainty.

Biologically, our brains conserve energy by relying on established neural pathways, making the formation of new paths—which is necessary for change—more energy-intensive and initially challenging.

And we don’t have the energy to change.

Why, if we are naturally predisposed to change, do we often find it so hard to do?

One part is loss aversion.

Loss aversion is a psychological phenomenon. It is the tendency for people to prefer avoiding losses to acquiring equivalent gains.

The theory suggests that the pain of losing is psychologically more impactful than the pleasure of gaining the same amount.

As loss looms larger in the mind, larger than gains, it affects business and life.

A client springs to mind, they have great income in their current business, and to move into a new version of business, there is the pain of losing the current income, but they aren’t seeing the fullfilment on the other side.

The perception of loss aversion can lead individuals to make choices that avoid losses rather than optimise for potential gains.

Imagine it to be like…

The influence of loss aversion extends beyond economics; it plays a significant role in areas such as risk assessment, politics, and health-related decision-making.

Understanding this bias helps explain why people might act irrationally when faced with potential losses, even when those losses are hypothetical or the gains could outweigh them.

Tanya x

Leadership Coach & Master Certified Demartini Method Facilitator

BAppSoSc (Counselling)

Maximum Growth

P.S. If you feel the momentum building, and you’re ready to take your coaching business to new heights, join us in Maximum Growth Academy here.

Dare You Not To Do This

Tanya Cross on June 3, 2024

It’s hard to believe that four years have passed since I led the team at the Breakthrough Experience.

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Looking back, I’m amazed at the journey we’ve all been on—investing in our own growth, building businesses, and navigating the complexities of life.

For me, this journey also involved raising a little one as a single mum, which added a whole new dimension to the adventure.

One thing I’ve realised is that true growth often comes from moments of challenge and deep reflection.

We never really see how far we’ve come until we pause and look back at the winding path we’ve travelled.

It’s like hiking up a mountain—sometimes the climb is tough, but when you reach a viewpoint and see how far you’ve come, it’s a new perspective.

I’ve been thinking a lot about authenticity and the importance of being true to ourselves.

We are here to “Become who you are” (Thanks Nietzsche).

Especially in business and as a coach.

When we build our business around our identity, when we bring our unique story to the marketplace, we create something that no one else can replicate.

There’s no competition when you’re true to yourself because no one else has your story, your perspective, or your voice.

In our journey, it’s easy to get caught up in what others are doing. Social media, industry trends, and external pressures can make us feel like we need to conform or compete.

But here’s the truth: the most impactful ideas and the most profound contributions come from within. When we focus on being our authentic selves, we create something truly original and transformative.

I have been geeking out on Søren Kierkegaard’s work lately, and something I came across has stuck in my mind.

“To dare is to lose one’s footing momentarily. Not to dare is to lose oneself.”

I read it and welled up with tears.

“To dare is to lose one’s footing momentarily. Not to dare is to lose oneself.”

It takes courage to stay true to our path, even when it’s difficult. Even when it feels like the whole world is against you.

It’s in those daring moments that we find our true strength and our most authentic selves.

Your greatest contribution to the world is to be yourself.

In a world that often emphasises competition and financial success, it’s easy to get caught up in chasing a quick buck.

But here’s the thing—when you pursue something that isn’t aligned with your true purpose, it rarely brings lasting fulfilment.

Instead, it can lead to burnout, dissatisfaction, and a sense of emptiness.

Focusing on service is where the real magic happens.

When you dedicate yourself to serving others, you tap into a deeper sense of purpose. You begin to realise that your unique experiences, perspectives, and ideas are exactly what the world needs.

By helping others, you not only contribute to their growth and transformation, but you also find meaning in your own life.

Trust that you can be paid for doing what is purposeful to you. This might seem counterintuitive in a society that often values quick financial gains, but it’s a profound truth.

Build a business that you love, not that you want to burn to the ground.

People are naturally drawn to authenticity and inspiration. They can sense when someone is truly dedicated to their craft and committed to making a difference.

Think about the people who inspire you the most. Chances are, they are individuals who have stayed true to themselves, even in the face of adversity.

They didn’t follow the crowd or compromise their values for short-term gains.

Instead, they focused on their mission and trusted that their dedication would pay off in the long run.

Financial rewards become a byproduct of the value you create rather than the primary goal.

So, don’t get distracted by what others are doing or how much money they’re making.

Stay focused on your journey and your mission…

Be patient.

Be persistent.

Be purposeful.

The world needs your unique contributions, and there is no one else who can do what you do.

With gratitude and love,

Tanya x

Leadership Coach & Master Certified Demartini Method Facilitator

BAppSoSc (Counselling)

Maximum Growth

The Hidden Trap

Tanya Cross on May 27, 2024

Human behaviour is fascinating.

Let’s take the psychological phenomena that influence it.

Each phenomenon offers you a little peek through a window into how people perceive, react to, and interact with the world around them.

Whether it’s understanding why we sometimes stick to decisions that aren’t beneficial (like in the sunk cost fallacy) or why we might feel oddly out of place despite our achievements (as with imposter syndrome), these phenomena help us make sense of complex human behaviours.

When we understand the complexities of human behaviour, we can then better understand how to solve problems at a deeper level.

There is one phenomenon that I find people get trapped in and how it impacts you.

Have you ever found yourself deeply invested in something—like a career, course, or financial investment—where you’ve put in significant time, money, and effort, but no longer feel it’s the perfect path for you?

Yet, instead of considering the potential benefits of changing direction, you find yourself focusing on the resources you’ve already spent.

In this moment you are prioritising past investments over future opportunities.

It’s known as the sunk cost fallacy.

It’s a cognitive bias impacting your life.

It leads you to stick with courses, career paths, or relationships that no longer bring value simply because abandoning them feels like admitting failure and wasting resources. You find it difficult to cut your losses and move on.

A client comes to mind when I think of the sunk cost fallacy.

They had invested money, time, and energy in choosing a niche in their coaching business. They had the website, the communication, the content.

But they weren’t getting clients.

When we refined their lane, who they were actually here to serve, and their message to share with the world, they thought ‘how can I change now, because I have invested so much into this other path.’

This is the sunk cost fallacy.

The trap becomes being stuck on a path that you don’t love because the money invested is more important than having a heart in what you do.

Another client who had invested so much money in a property, that if they sold it, they wouldn’t get a return on their investment, but to keep it, it would cost them more money, and a loss of not living life as all additional resources are being poured into the investment.

For anything you change, you have to acknowledge this cognitive bias.

You have to see the lens you are seeing the world, and then you can change it.

Instead of viewing your past investments as wasted, you have to understand how there are valuable learning experiences in everything you do.

Take the lessons with you, and it isn’t wasted.

Use the experience as building blocks rather than barriers, so you can live a life that you feel open to opportunities in the future, rather than being bound by the past.

So if you have a voice inside saying, ‘change your niche, stop the course you are doing and start a new course, or cut your losses and move on,’

Then, perhaps see the potential inside you and focus on what is wisest for the future rather than what has been lost in the past.

Be flexible to change and realign when you feel the inner calling.

Tanya x

Leadership Coach & Master Certified Demartini Method Facilitator

BAppSoSc (Counselling)

Maximum Growth

It’s not for you

Tanya Cross on May 20, 2024

You have a love to serve.

But…

Business is not your jam.

let’s level up:

Grow Yourself To Grow Your Business

Smash through growth ceilings,
again and again to new heights
in business, leadership and life.

Marketing, finance, or operations—it can feel like stepping into an entirely different and uncomfortable world unless you come into coaching with a background in sales, marketing, or something that directly supports your business.

Either way, business is outside of your comfort zone.

Embracing the business side can be daunting because it requires a different skill set.

Business demands you sometimes shift from a people-centric to a process-centric approach, dealing with admin, emails, automation, and operational tasks.

You have to have a priority shift.

Instead of deep diving into human behaviour, people, the mind, and methodology, you’re not in the trenches of learning about client avatars, sales funnels, google ads…

Plus, with budget constraints and being a one-person show, it’s not always commercially viable or profitable to invest in a team.

At some point in your coaching career, you must transition from being just a coach to owning a coaching business. This often forces you to stop thinking as an individual and start thinking as a business owner.

Imagine owning a product business without understanding the finances, having no processes in place for orders, or knowing what to communicate to customers about refunds or promotions. If you were in that situation, you’d feel overwhelmed and stressed, likely reluctant to grow or scale up your business.

Your coaching business is the same.

Embracing the business side of your coaching practice, while daunting, is essential and a profound opportunity for growth.

For me, it’s like my own personal development boot camp, where I learn to tackle complex challenges, create order, and grow.

As a coach, you already value learning and personal growth.

Applying this mindset to your business means integrating what you know, making your business a true reflection of you.

When you embrace the reality that you are not just a coach but a business owner, you’ll see that your business is an extension of your service.

Investing in yourself and your business enables you to harness its full potential, allowing you to make a greater impact through your coaching.

Remember, your business isn’t just a business—it’s a mission.

But don’t die with the music in you and know you have more to give.

Build an aligned business that reflects who you are to help you share your service with the world.

Tanya x

Leadership Coach & Master Certified Demartini Method Facilitator

BAppSoSc (Counselling)

Maximum Growth