Has This Ever Happened To You?

Featured image for “Has This Ever Happened To You?”

Your enemy – they’ll tear you down at the drop of a hat, whisper to other people how shit you are as a coach or post that they see one slight weakness in your armour and bring you down. But what happens when you perceive those closest to you as your enemy?

How does that affect your mental health, mindset, and relationships?


Let’s face it. We live in a world where we might not have surrounded ourselves with a supportive inner circle of friends and family.

Our inner circle is meant to be a place where you can be yourself and take a breath.  

However, sometimes we find ourselves viewing the very people in this circle as adversaries who go against us. This mindset can profoundly affect our overall well-being, affecting how we do life and, of course, business.


When we perceive our loved ones as enemies, it can trigger a range of perceived negative emotions, such as anger, resentment, and even suspicion. 


Being on guard within our inner circle can lead to heightened anxiety and stress, affecting our mental health. 


These feelings may gradually erode our ability to trust others, leaving us feeling isolated and emotionally drained.


(so maybe if you’re feeling emotionally sucked dry, this is because you’re lacking the people that get you around you.)


So let’s coin the phrases (another one, Tanya! Yes, another one, check out last week’s new term here.) It’s the enemy’s perception.


The enemy perception within the inner circle often stems from past experiences or unresolved conflicts.


We may project our insecurities onto those closest to us, perceiving harmless actions or innocent remarks as intentional attacks. 


This mindset creates a self-fulfilling prophecy, distorting our perception of reality and preventing us from meaningful relationships.


But what happens to our relationships?


Our inner circle relationships can suffer greatly, drastically affecting us. And when our personal life is in shambles, it’d be difficult to show up in your business. 


This reminds me of our Mindset Class last week when Shaine was working on a moment. She was in a cyclone. This experience bonded her family; each time they go through a crisis, they are all there for each other. 


That experience may not be yours. You may feel alone and isolated, and people don’t have your back when needed. 


Conflict and tension erode the foundations of relationships, especially trust and intimacy.



Misunderstandings escalate, imagine it like bricks stacking up on each other and getting ready to topple at any moment. Meaningful connections become severed. 

So, how can we address ‘the enemy perception’ and not have them as a frenemy but as another human living their life? Here are the top two tips:

  1. Seek self-awareness and recognize that these perceptions are your filter of the world and take ownership of your thinking by asking yourself where and when have you done something the same or similar to the individual you judge.

  2. Know that your communication will be a factor in a friendship or enemy. Challenge someone enough, and they will be against you, support someone (in what is important to them) and they will stand beside you. How do you create a win/win, or support their values in a way that supports your values?

As you work through these tips and questions, you’ll notice a shift in perception and a change in others’ behaviour. You get to let your guard down with the people you love and allow them inside.

Just thinking – it’s been ages since I’ve seen you, or maybe we haven’t met in person yet. I wanted to say thank you for being part of our community and give a big squeezy virtual hug (and if you’re not a hugger – I get it, we can give each other a head nod and a wink instead).

If you’re struggling with being misunderstood and feeling alone, I’d love to hear from you. Feel free to reply to this email or connect with us on social media land.

 Wishing you a week filled with growth and deeper, more meaningful connections.