Is it ever ok to compare ourselves? (Even to teens?)

When you’re focused on a goal, pouring effort and energy into getting somewhere, it’s easy to feel… inadequate. To begin comparing yourself when things don’t come quick enough.

Like to a 16 year old on Tik Tok who has way less experience than you, yet talks to 1.7 million people per day, and can ‘print money’ by making a single post.

“Was I absent the day they handed out the income Miracle Grow lesson?” You might think.

And yet, you know something that teen doesn’t, {first_name}. Something that can ONLY be learned through the inexorable march of time. Years of hard-won lessons when all your chips were down.

Your kernel of wisdom, {first_name}, is that life is not a competition.

Validation, fame, riches… they’re not notches on the doorframe of meaning.

The WORK is the reward. The results are icing.

And sometimes we want to shovel the icing in our mouth and have forgotten about the work.

So.

Align the work (if that be marketing, money making or mission related) with who you are, and what you love. That is at the top of your checklist. No point trying to be someone you are not. You’ll make an impact and income you love.

This came up in a session with my client this week, where her parents moved over to Australia 15 years ago to start a new business. Their marriage ended in divorce and split the $2.2 million of assets 50/50.

This is where it becomes interesting. . .

Her father poured his heart and soul into his business. He built his business around his inspiration and 15 years later has built a $6 million dollar business. Being himself paid.

Her mum wanted to be wealthy, has done little work to get there, followed others advice and has $100K left. She compares herself to him now and isn’t being herself (and her finances show that {first_name}).

Now, if you find yourself comparing, or flagging in your inspiration, or trying to ignore a tiny whisper saying, “who am I to do this? WANT this?”…

Think of all the things you’ve already achieved that have been meaningful to you. The tenacity, grit, inspiration, and love you’ve poured into yourself already to get here.

The more you honor you, the more the world will reflect that and honor you right back.

​Remember, a little wisdom from Abraham Lincoln “I’m not bound to win, I’m bound to be true. I’m not bound to succeed, I’m bound to live up to the light within me”

Tanya ‘shining light on you’ x

Leadership Coach
Counsellor & Master Certified Demartini Method Facilitator

You’ve got 2 types of learners:

Passive

and

Active

Passive learners prefer to absorb information, attend seminars, read books and learn tools they may – or may not – use. Pure knowledge is the goal. (Think academics, researchers, and some content creators.)

Active learners prefer to apply what they learn. They gain insights and distinctions by taking imperfect action and earn wisdom through facing challenges. (Think artists, consultants, business owners.)

Passive learners pay to learn.

Active learners invest to learn (because they turn their learnings into earnings).

Now, I know someone reading this (maybe you) is thinking, “oh, active learning is clearly better”.

Likely because we’ve all heard, “to know and not to do is not yet to know.” (Plus, who doesn’t love essentially being paid to learn.)

It depends on your lens of evaluation as to which one you use.

Are you learning for enjoyment? Or are you learning for self-growth, business growth and ROI?

One isn’t better than the other. But you can (almost always) choose one over the other.

I turn it into a fun challenge – “how can I make money from what I’m about to learn?” (even if I’m spending money to learn first. Especially then.)

It’s a simple perspective shift, but rare, I’ve noticed.

So why aren’t more people Active Learners?

In my experience, 2 reasons:

1. Because no one has given them the structure to continue applying their tools and make money from them as they learn.
2. Because it requires actually doing the work. We’ve been pounded with the myth of passive income so hard that we think learning = growth. Anyone who’s been down the seminar cycle knows this isn’t true. Action generates income.

I looked for years for a course, a mentor… anything that gave me a structure to apply what I learned and turn it into growth (for myself, my business and my income).

In the end, I was the lone she-wolf. I had to grit my teeth and persist. (I wouldn’t recommend it.)

So I built the space I was searching for – one with the education/application cycle built in. I figured if I cared about doing the work – and making money from it – surely others are willing to do it and reap the rewards too.

And it would be MUCH easier in a pack than solo. (Yes, for the accountability, but also because I’ve walked the path already and can shine light on it for others.)

Our members (and you, if you are one) already know this: So – meet Maximum Growth Membership.

Maximum Growth isn’t a seminar where you’re expected to learn and then maybe apply the tools later if you have the discipline.

But an ongoing community & classroom with the long term, compound growth built in.

An academy for Active Learning (and those who want to earn from their learning.)

On 1st April I’m opening doors for a special yearly price (with extra bonuses for fast action takers because it’s also my birthday). Available for one day only.

Why a year’s membership? To guarantee long-term results.

Imagine it – an entire year of Active Learning. What could you do with that?

With gratitude,

Leadership Coach
Counsellor & Master Certified Demartini Method Facilitator

PS – this is the system I’ve used for over 12 years to overcome some of the biggest hurdles in business and life that a human can face: suicide, divorce, public scrutiny, overwhelm, and turning them into the inspiration, income and impact I love. If there’s one thing I’ve learned it’s that what you do on one day is memorable, but what you do every day is meaningful. If you like the sound of that (and getting even more of it over an entire year) then feel free to send us a message.

You have any skeletons in the closet?​

I do.

(And not the dancing buns-out in the bedroom on a Sunday kind.)

When I started my business, I leaned HARD on that affirmation, “I do whatever it takes and pay whatever price to bring my services of love to the world.”

Emphasis on “do whatever it takes.”

While I’m itching to give you the gory details, I can’t (because it would implicate certain others). But I can tell you that the pressure of someone finding out the juicy details of my past and plastering them over the church walls was a huge concern of mine.

Like those leaders who are now publicly denounced for tweets they made years ago.

Looking over your shoulder constantly does not make for a smooth ride. The self-judgement gnaws at your conscience, taking away time, focus and even ability to grow yourself or your business.

I remember it well. It kept me trapped for the first 4 years of my business.

No matter how hard I hustled or the deals I cut… I never seemed to crack my income ceiling because I was afraid of being seen, being noticed as my skeletons in the closet might come out.

That is, until I remembered the golden rule of business growth:

Ceilings are self-imposed.

(We don’t see the world as it is… we see it as we are.)

So I looked deeply at myself and my past actions. I took them out one by one and dissolved them until I fully loved myself for my choices in life. I dissolved the skeletons AND the closet they lived in. (If you’ve never done this, it’s like a slingshot for your growth.)

Fast forward a year…

I’d booked way more sessions than the year before (nearly double, in fact). And yet I wasn’t run ragged or constantly bailing on friends to field calls. I wasn’t even stressed.

And interestingly, some of the clients came to me with exactly the same problem I was hiding. Love that when you find order, others with disorder seek you.

Very much NOT the hustle I was told to expect would get me there, but more flow.

I was living what I believe is officially called, “THE DREAM”™.

See, people had been telling me to learn sales, or be all over social media, standard marketing stuff

I’d heard that I had to do all-the-things.

But the only thing I’ve invested in over and over and over again… is my mindset.

Because I KNEW when you just clear your baggage, you change your behaviour… and THAT lands you business.

It starts in your inner world.

And then I proved it again and again for the last 12+ years.

I’d say it’s magic, but it’s really just brain science.

Fewer blocks = more magnetism.

Magnetism = sales.

Some examples:

• You conquer rejection because you’re clear on your mission. (And you won’t let others’ opinions get in the way.
• You get platinum opportunities and clients because you have certainty in your worth. (Which makes people trust you and talk about you to the right people.)
• You raise your rates because you see insights your customers can’t. (And they gratefully pay your fees.)
• You expand your impact because your vision and awareness have grown. (Without forgetting where you came from or sacrificing your humility.)

It’s like the universe rushes to fill that void your subconscious has capped with a ceiling.

Like breathing a sigh of relief “finally… space for {first_name} to do more. BE more.”

(Relief that reduces wrinkles and makes you feel great.)

Listen. What I’m saying is, you don’t need more tools or an expensive seminar. You just need the space and structure to dissolve whatever’s in your way as it pops up.

Clear your blocks consistently and reap rewards consistently.

If you want any of that – more clarity on your business, more certainty in yourself, more income to match your (raised) worth… hell, even skeleton eviction (ok, ESPECIALLY skeleton eviction) – you’re going to jump into Maximum Growth Membership.

Here’s to leveling up in leadership.

Leadership Coach
Counsellor & Master Certified Demartini Method Facilitator

You’re a smart cookie – take a guess:

What do you think is the least sexy idea in business growth?

Tax strategy? Insurance and indemnity?

If you ask me… I’d say it’s the one that gurus find the hardest to sell because it doesn’t hit you with an instant dopamine fix:

Doing the work.

Not “hustle”, because that leads to burnout. (And got romanticised by Gary Vee, which is why it sells.)

Not “work smarter” because that’s too subjective. (What is “smart”, anyway? 4 hour work week stuff? Even Tim Ferris doesn’t do that.)

Just this:

Do what you know will turn you into the person you need to be to get what you would most love to have… 10% faster than is comfortable. Because maximum growth occurs at the border of support and challenge. You can handle 10% right?

(See? Unsexy. But true.)

The thing is, the masses don’t rush toward truth. They eat up fantasies.

Sidenote: this is why I built the Maximum Growth membership on doing the work. I love helping those who want an inspiring income and impact, get it by doing work that breaks their ceilings. It’s what I’m known for. But it’s not for the masses. They’re not like you and I who are willing to chip away until we arrive.

Back to the gurus for a second:

They know this truth – that consistently doing the work is the key to all success – but they still sell the fantasy or run mostly one-off events instead of multi-month programs. (Which require more of their personal time and input.)

Even though in their own businesses they’ve proven to themselves that long term application has an astronomically higher probability of personal and business growth.

(Let me clarify – there’s a place for seminars. I love them too. But the foundation of growth has always been action.)

I’ve worked closely with them. Spoken on their stages.

And as the years went by I realised, I can’t keep waiting around until someone runs another event for me to level up (either as a presenter or an attendee). Neither can humanity. Or anyone who’s inspired to make an impact and leave a legacy.

I’m inspired by the message I want to bring to the world. And I’ve got work to do to make that happen.

I owe it to myself to do what I can to bring my soul’s calling into the world. Which means taking consistent action, no matter how small. Not relying on someone else’s schedule.

You also have a mission that belongs to and requires you. Even if you’re not quite 100% clear on what it is yet.

It will be your life’s work – the things your children know you for, that the world thanks you for, that you’re handsomely, financially rewarded for.

And that takes work.

Slow, consistent work, but the payoff is guaranteed growth.

Unsexy, simple, and yet the key to your most inspired, expanded life.

If there’s one message you take away from this email today, make it this: do the work. Not all at once, but spread out over the long term. So you can bring all of you to the world, without burning out.

Leadership Coach
Counsellor & Master Certified Demartini Method Facilitator

Uh-oh.

Hear that? It’s the sound of new year’s goals shuffling to a dusty corner in the back of humanity’s mind, waiting until December to be plucked out and shaken off again.

(Most likely accompanied by a twinge of regret at what they left undone.)

Sooooo, let’s not do that.

Let’s set ourselves apart from the mass populace. (Meaning, let’s not just talk about our dreams, but work towards them too.)

And so I present to you this reminder from your mentor (yours truly) to get re-inspired by your goals. (There really is something to that saying: where attention goes, energy flows, and results show.)

(I tell you this because I almost forgot. Oops. Thank God for google reminders.)

So, whip out your 2021 goals with me. And run through this quarterly checklist I created for you:

1. Are your goals still in the right priority? Shift them up or down to ensure you’re focused on what’s most important to you.
2. Are there any that need more love than they’ve gotten? (add those to your to-do list)
3. Which ones are non-contenders now? (maybe save them for next year)
4. Is there anything new that you would love to achieve this year? (could be in the next few weeks or right up to December 31st)
5. Do a review – have you knocked any of them off? Or achieved things that you hadn’t even written down? (HINT: write those unexpected achievements down now.)
6. What have you done already that’s worked or moved the needle?
7. What actions can you take, education can you get, or conversations can you have to build even more momentum?

Also, fun thought experiment:

Take a few deep breaths. Slowly roll over in your mind the people, things, moments, experiences, lessons you’re grateful for. Feel that ‘thunk’ moment you come into presence and gratitude. Then visualise what your life will be like as you continually grow into who you need to be to get the things you’d love. What will you get to be, do and have? What will you not have to do, or get to stop doing?

Ok, given today’s Sunday, this is the perfect day to sit down and do this.

Just take a few mins now, as you’re reading this. Give a quick prod to your consciousness to say, “hey! Remember what we’re here for. Let’s make sure we got the systems in place to get this done.”

And then, let’s go get ‘em.

PS – So easy to get distracted these days. Between Netflix and parenthood, I tell you… I’m lucky I remember to unplug the toaster after brekkie. (Once you’ve run out of a burning building at 3am, you think about these things.) Anyway, I adopted an affirmation to keep me on track, which you’re welcome to adopt too: “if it ain’t scheduled, it ain’t happening.” It’s also why I built a membership when I could have built a seminar. #chewonthatthought

PPS – If you want a strategy and system in place to grow not only your mind, but your business, income and impact then… stay tuned.

When you’re focused on a goal, pouring effort and energy into getting somewhere, it’s easy to feel… inadequate. To begin comparing yourself when things don’t come quick enough.

Like to a 16 year old on Tik Tok who has way less experience than you, yet talks to 1.7 million people per day, and can ‘print money’ by making a single post.

“Was I absent the day they handed out the income and impact Miracle Grow?” You might think.

And yet, you know something that teen doesn’t, {first_name}. Something that can ONLY be learned through the inexorable march of time. Years of hard-won lessons when all your chips were down.

Your kernel of wisdom, {first_name}, is this:

Validation, fame, riches… they’re not notches on the doorframe of meaning.

The WORK is the reward. The results are icing.

(Especially useful when you’re on benefit #127 in your Demartini Method and still looking for the one gusher that crumbles the house of cards.)

So.

If you find yourself comparing, or flagging in your inspiration, or trying to ignore a tiny whisper saying, “who am I to do this? WANT this?”…

Think of all the things you’ve already achieved. The tenacity, grit, inspiration, and love you’ve poured into yourself already to get here. And let THAT be your validation. Your certainty. Your own personal manifesto that, “no matter where I’m at right now, I’m always worth the effort to take the next step.”

Remember to pause and smell the roses, {first_name}.

And then take. that. step.

I’ve been feeling flat this week.

It’s not that I’ve lost inspiration or anything. Far from it. The sessions I’ve had this week definitely kept that pep in my step.

One in particular stands out: a member of my family who shared how one thing I said when we were 9, gave him the will to keep living. At the ripe age of 9! (Talk about a kid counsellor.)

Moments like that make me realise you never know the impact you have.

And here’s the real kicker – especially the longevity of your impact.

We might see so little of our impact in any given moment. But the ripple effects? The ones that emerge as a byproduct of your initial action? They’re almost infinite.

So, if you’re wondering, “what’s the point of it all”… let this be your reminder. Keep being you and follow your heart.

You mean more than you know to the people you touch.

Ok, back to why I was feeling flat this week for a second: I think it’s because of where my focus went. Like anyone who’s on a mission, we have big goals for 2021 here at MG.

And when you’re stretching beyond your comfort zone, it’s easy to focus only on numbers: followers, subscribers, dollars, clients – and if you’re corporate – market share, etc.

Those are important, yes.

But there’s one metric that defies data, yet is worth tracking:

Why you began in the first place. Not necessarily your grand vision. But that little kernel of ‘why’ inside you.

One big belly laugh in our marketing meeting was all it took for me. I remembered the lightness I want to evoke in this community. And that connection to something greater than ourselves.

So… coming full circle to our subject line today:

What’s YOUR story, {first_name}? Why did you start your business?

Remember why you’re really doing this. Is it for those things you can reduce to a number? Or about something you truly care about? SomeONE, even?

Doesn’t have to be pages or paragraphs. Or even beautifully articulated.

Maybe it’s as simple as, “to spend more time with my family” or “because I truly love changing people’s lives”.

No matter how big or small, just hold onto that truth: be you. Follow your heart.

Leadership Coach
Counsellor & Master Certified Demartini Method Facilitator

I’m writing this on a plane to Coffs Harbour.

You won’t read it until Sunday (it’s Friday right now – hello from the past!), but my fingers itched to get this down. Because when inspiration knocks, you listen.

My partner, Aaron, is snoozing next to me. Looking dashing with that ‘headrest tilt’ and signature plane nap move: the slackjaw half-snore.

I could probably float a ping pong ball on his exhales.

(Alas – no space for pingpong next to the bottles and blankies for Bonnie, my daughter. #priorities)

And of course, by the time you read this, it’ll be Feb 14th. Which is one of the only universal holidays that you might love one year and dread the next.

But that’s only partly why Aaron and I haven’t planned anything for each other for the big V-day.

I don’t really like chocolate. Or flowers. Or wine. (Keith Urban tickets on the other hand, I will enthusiastically accept.)

Besides, the spirit of today isn’t about big or expensive displays of affection.

Really, it’s a day for celebrating love, which is why we’re investing our weekend with Aaron’s mum. She’s getting older and a little forgetful. And we want to make sure she has as much Bonnie time as possible.

Because that’s something worth living more years for.

See, romance is beautiful but true love and appreciation… that’s unconditional. And you can share it with anyone. Not just your partner. (Though please do share your love with them. Vigorously!)

So. Whether you’re picnicking like lovebirds with your partner, or seducing a pint of Ben and Jerry’s like it’s your stand-in soulmate…

Reach out to the people who matter to you today. Let them know they matter.

Because that’s all every one of us wants, really. To know we’re special to someone. We’re loved.

And hey – {first_name}, YOU matter to me. You give my life meaning. So thank you for being you.

Have a love-filled day.

Leadership Coach
Counsellor & Master Certified Demartini Method Facilitator
Maximum Growth: Private & Group Coaching Available

PS – quick idea for a ‘last minute’ present today: write a love letter to someone you care deeply about. Partner, parent, friend, brother (yes, bromance counts), teacher… whoever. You don’t have to wax poetic or anything. Just write from your heart. What they mean to you, why you love them, what you love about them. I guarantee it’ll fill up your heart and theirs today. And if you can’t think of anyone, your words are always welcome here, with me.