Tantrums And Tissues

Bonnie turned 2 last month. This had come with a flooding of people saying “oh, this is when it gets really tough, they throw tantrums, get upset, refuse to do what you say, say no ALOT.”

So let’s talk about the terrible twos. No, let’s talk about human behaviour because let’s face it, even as adults we sometimes spit the dummy.

Emotions serve a purpose.

When you’re challenged with what you want, or what is important to you, you’ll find yourself using emotion as a strategy to get what you want. Or maybe using emotions as you don’t want to say what is on your mind, so crying says it for you.

And emotions can be amplified because of your environment.

When you’re in an environment where people are calm and centred, you feel it too.

Oh, do you remember the panic buying in the supermarkets last year? Just walking in there I wanted to buy EVERYTHING I didn’t need and 20 items of anything I did.

It leaves the question, when you’re upset and having a meltdown, how long do you stay in your emotional state, and when do you come back to centre? (or how long do you allow others to be emotional before you say – hey, time to work on it).

Here is the thing, sometimes you just need someone, like this guy, to be there for you. #holdthespace

There is a time and place for someone to hold this space for us, to allow us time to express ourselves and how we feel. To vent. (And it feels so good! I ain’t going to lie).

I have seen clients lose themselves in their business and lose themselves when their business has fallen apart and no longer exists. I have seen clients struggle with their niche and what service to offer the world. Even being slammed by the media for something that is not true and was worried business would slow down. #majormeltdown

They come because they are ready to process their emotions, to do the work and get back on track with fulfilling their vision.

I have witnessed some incredible transformations in people from doing internal work on themselves (think disgusting habits stopping, affection starting again in a relationship, aggression from the other party calming, and people calling again after having a strained relationship).

This is the paradox we have to grapple as a leader.

When to feel through it and when to work on it.

It’s tough as there is no prescription that tells you what to do. I wish I had the answer but I don’t. Only you will know.

Next time you have a moment, you want to throw all your toys out of the cot, check-in with yourself to see if you are really “feeling the full force of the emotions” and “when will you be ready to work on it.”

See you on the inside,

 

Signature
Leadership Coach
Counsellor & Master Certified Demartini Method Facilitator
Maximum Growth: Private & Group Coaching Available

Have You Found It?

After spending a long weekend with my family, I hugged my Mum goodbye and for the first time in my entire life, she cried in my arms (you know the sobbing that makes your whole body shake kind of cry).

Wrapping my arms tighter around her small frame I asked “What is hurting in your heart?”

She replies, “I don’t know how much time I have left here. And if I’ll get to see everyone again.”

Death is confronting.

There was a period of time where death seemed to be creeping into our home more and more. My father had been sick on and off for years with major illnesses, surgeries, he and our family had faced death or the fear of death many times.

My parents, each visit or phone call would want to talk about their death with my sister, brother and me.

They’re prepared, a funeral prayer book is written, hymns are decided, a financial plan arranged, the works.

Now, it’s my mum’s turn to feel her mortality like something is creeping over her as she lives, slowly ready to take her at any moment.

Death is confronting as it makes you face your life.

While flying home (and in between Bonnie crawling all over me between seats to get the best view) I reflected on my future when I am in my 80’s and what I would love my life to be, what would I love to have created and what mark do I want to leave on the world (I know for sure it isn’t ticking off every Netflix series).

My Mum has been my greatest teacher and has taught me to not only walk a spiritual path but be prepared to dedicate your life to a cause and a mission that is serving humanity.

Everyone has a mission, a purpose on earth. Some people take 50 years to awaken to it, others know it as a child. It doesn’t matter when you find and follow it, it matters to keep following your inner knowing for that divine calling as it has more wisdom than you can intellectualise.

It isn’t about comparing yourself to others (that’ll shut it down quickly).

It isn’t about following someone else’s calling (that’s Killing Me Softly)

It isn’t about thinking with your head about your mission is (off with their heads – Thanks Queen of Hearts).

Let me bring it home with a little wisdom from Abraham Lincoln I shared a few weeks ago and it is perfect here again, “I’m not bound to win, I’m bound to be true. I’m not bound to succeed, I’m bound to live up to the light within me.”

And you are.

You have a light to shine on the world.

No. Let me re-say that you have a unique light to shine on the world, that only you can do.

In the Maximum Growth Business Membership, we have finished a block of classes on unpacking and revealing a Philosophia for life.

This process has been so deeply moving that each session (and for those that watched the recordings) had rolling goosebumps and tears, and saw their vision for their life right in front of them.

Their certainty in their own path, their own purpose, their meaningful mission grew. A spark ignited for some, for others it burned brighter.

And all from 5 hours of retrospection, introspection, prospection (that’s looking forward in time).

Everyone has a unique mission to share with the world (or a group of people in a little corner of the internet).

Only you can know it (I have some quality questions to ask to reveal it).

What’s five hours of time to dedicate to awaken something powerful within yourself that creates your life to be more meaningful?

Not much.

If you are interested in joining (or upgrading) to the Maximum Growth Business Membership, come and join us every week to help you to create a living, life and legacy you love.

Check out more details here.

See you on the inside,

 

Signature

Leadership Coach
Counsellor & Master Certified Demartini Method Facilitator

Universal Principles Unfolded

In the Mindset Class last week, one of our MG Members, Danny shared he wanted to embrace criticism. We’ve all been there at one stage or another.

I reflected on who I perceived to do this well, and hands down it’s Donald Trump. He could be composed and continue about his business while receiving intense criticism.

Trump was fascinating to watch. I’ve racked my brain and I can’t think of a more transparent global demonstration of human behaviour from the last decade than when Trump was president.

His behaviour was a perfect example of the play of universal principles.

So, let’s go down the rabbit hole and have a chance to fine-tune your universal principle preceptors at a global scale by reviewing Trump’s term as president.

Law Of Equilibrium

The more self-righteous Trump became, the more the universe tried to bring him back down.

We saw this when Pennsylvania immediately threw out of court his bid to stop counting the votes. (A blow to his ego and public image.)

If he played within the rule-book with a more balanced perspective, maybe he’d be able to make a stronger case (one aligned with democratic proceedings that would get consideration in court.)

Intuitively I’d say he may have been cocky about winning. That’s a factor in why the tides turned towards Biden’s favour. And he’s less public now. Sometimes we hide when we are faced with a publicly humbling circumstance (have you been there {Name}?).

LESSON: If you don’t govern your inner world, expect the outer world to govern you.

Law of Reflection and Transparency (Column 2&9 if you’re a fellow Demartini Method nerd)

Often you would hear Trump talk about fake news, dishonesty, being a phoney, part of the campaign to win the election was about Hillary Clinton being crooked.

What is interesting is that, as of Trump’s 100th day in office, there were 492 false or misleading claims (fact check here).

It’s a great reminder that you don’t see the world as it is, you see it as you are. The world is your mirror.

LESSON: Your emotional charges show how you perceive the world and are revealed in your language.

You can also learn alot from someone else, when you listen to what they say. If they say “you’re hiding something” it is more likely they have hidden something and feel guilt about it, and perceiving it in you.

Law Of Perceived Value

Trump had done so well at communicating in the Republicans’ values (whether you agree with his stance or not) that they’re moved to action from voting for him a little over 4 years ago and going to Capitol Hill in December.

He doesn’t need evidence or facts to mobilise his followers when he uses their language, when he speaks to what is important to them.

Like it or not, that’s a key trait of a powerful leader: knowing and talking to your people. This is also why this is the largest voter turnout in the history of the US – both candidates have spoken to inspire (their people) or polarise the masses (as not everyone values what the leader stands for).

LESSON: No matter what level you play at, you’ll have your haters (waving to my haters now wave????????).

Law Of Lesser Pissers

I personally love the Law Of Lesser Pissers.

Being pissed off is conserved. Too often we want to play Mr Nice Guy/The Good Girl, and we sacrifice ourselves and what we want to please the outside world. But internally, we build up resentment, to the point of pissing ourselves off for not doing what we wanted (ouch).

LESSON: No matter what, in some circumstances, someone will be pissed off. Who would you rather it be? You? Or them?

Now take a moment to see these Universal Principles in your own life.

Examine the Universal Principles at work… and you see a bigger, brighter and beautiful whole story unfold.

With universal love and wisdom,

 

Signature

Leadership Coach

Counsellor & Master Certified Demartini Method Facilitator

Angry In 0 – 100 In 1 Second

Zero to 100 in 1 second.

That’s how fast I found myself fuming! (that’s faster than a lamborghini BTW).

No one can make us feel anything except your perceptions of your experience creates how you feel. It is the realization that you are the only person who can be responsible for your feelings and your reactions and thus your fulfillment.

But it is not that easy.

When you are living unconsciously, what someone says or does can “trigger” a reaction within you. If you are not conscious of what is happening, you will react as if the other person is doing something to you, when in fact it is you who are doing the doing.

When you are living consciously, you become responsible for yourself, your experience and your actions.

You seek maximum growth within yourself and are less prone to reaction (and it still will happen – you can’t escape it).

True liberation starts by taking responsibility for your own actions (and of course, your reactions), and instead of laying blame elsewhere, choosing to have full thinking, full awareness of your experience, seeing how the struggle, the challenge is serving.

So you’re probably wondering what got my all fired up?

I have booked 4 days next week to see my family in Melbourne. We are all flying in to spend time in the nest. Poppy has prepared the menu, rooms are ready for us to arrive (thanks Nana!) and I have been explaining to Bonnie we are going to (finally) see everyone.

But, there has been 1 case of ‘rona in Sydney (no, I did not leave any zero’s off that number). Now the news is reporting the next two weeks will be critical.

Fuming. For a second. Ridiculous. F**king Idiots (and a lot of head shaking).

Then, my training of asking quality questions and applying quality answers using the Demartini Method come into play.

I want to make sure if we couldn’t fly, I am adaptable, and flexible. So I ask myself how would it serve Bonnie, myself and my family to not go to Melbourne next week?

I dissolve any attachment (and excitement) in going, ground myself and become grateful at the possibility.

If we hold onto baggage, it costs us greatly. It costs time thinking about it, energy talking about it, it can even be all consuming.

When you look inward and self-reflect on your part of the dynamic, you find deeper meaning and understanding in your situation. You find the ‘why’, the reason it has unfolded in this way, at this time for you. Then, when you change the way you look at things, the things you look at change.

Gold Nugget Of Wisdom: the quality of your life is determined by the quality of questions you ask and the quality of answers you provide.

Tanya “owning my name” Cross x

 

Signature

Leadership Coach

Counsellor & Master Certified Demartini Method Facilitator

My Epic Failure

It can be a hard pill to swallow.

The resentment for the decisions you made that led to the demise, the public shame, how to face the world again? Can you relate?

Michael Jordan experienced a significant failure and he locked himself in his room to cry (oh thats me last week).

Oprah Winfrey was not given any job because she was deemed to be ineligible for television work.

Walt Disney experienced a significant failure as he was denied a job in the newspaper agency.

Yet Micheal never let his failure get to him and with practice and hard work, he became an NBA champion. Oprah never really gave up and through hard work, she became the most influential woman in the whole world and was recognised for her hard work. Walt Disney never gave up and is recognised as one of the most influential creators to have lived.

Success is not a smooth upward path without any type of bump in the road or dip in your spirits.

Actually, it is the opposite, it can be at times tough and you’ll experience some significant hurdles as you attempt to reach what you call your success.

Flashback to 2006, I was at university studying a Bachelor of Applied Social Science, majoring in crisis counselling.

I knew in my heart that I wanted to help people and felt I was on path and purpose. The form I was still unsure of, but certain of the counselling field.

We were required in Counselling Skills 1 subject to film ourselves doing a 1 hour session with a client. My friend, Kerrie, offered to be my client and film a session.

We set up two chairs in the living room of her home, camera poise and we started our session. I asked, “what would you like to work on?” She shared her mother committed suicide when she was 10 and she was struggling now she had a young child.

This is my first ever session I have ever done. I sat back in my chair thinking “what the hell do I do here?!” My first problem to solve and it is huge.

Safe to say it is a train wreck. I didn’t solve any of her challenges, and I am certain I left her worse off than we started.

I thought that was the purpose of university, to learn from your mistakes so I wrote about my learnings and what I discovered, what I would have done differently. But it wasn’t enough.

I opened the attachment in the email for my results. There, right next to Counselling Skills 1 it says ‘Failed.’

My heart sank.

“I’m a failure” ran through my head.

My heart shattered.

I failed at the very thing I want to create my career around. How am I going to create something for myself if I am a failure. Thoughts swirled, “maybe this is a sign to stop. And not keep on going.”

Well, you know happened. I persevered and make it my profession and my life.

Here is what I learned.

You see failure can feel like the end when it is completely not.

So when you hear no, it is no from that individual, for now, but not no forever, from all people.

In order to achieve your goals and accomplish your dreams, you require the strength to pick yourself back up again after you fall regardless of what the outer world says or does. They don’t know your inner world like you do. They don’t know what is important to you and why it is so meaningful.

Failure is not fatal, nor is it final. Failure is not something absolute, but an opportunity for growth, learning, rising to the challenge. Setbacks are meant to offer insights into how to step forward.

And it is all a matter of perspective. Change the questions you ask, change your perspective, change your life.

What failure have you had that has become your greatest success story?

Warm fuzzy squeezes,

 

Signature

PS – If you’d love maximum growth and guidance in dissolving your stuff, weekly help with me is right here.

Got A Question For You

How often do you think about yourself?

Research shows that most of our time is spent thinking about someone or something else. Psychologists believe people actually avoid thinking about themselves. We dislike facing our own adequacies.

For the same reason, many of us avoid talking about ourselves, viewing ourselves in the mirror, or being photographed. It’s too uncomfortable.

The following experiment was conducted to show how increased self-awareness can affect our behaviour.

During Halloween, children played trick or treat, who turned up at one researcher’s door and were told to help themselves to one sweet from the bowl.

Children who were believed to be unobserved took 34% more sweets. The researcher then placed a full-length mirror behind the bowl and only 12% of subsequent children took more sweets.

The mirror reinforced the children’s sense of self-awareness.

To avoid confronting the inadequacies, some people prefer to withdraw from a situation often by getting drunk, scrolling aimlessly through social media or Numflixing it (I just make that up. Think it will catch on {first_name}?).

These activities reduce your level of self-awareness making feelings and events temporary more bearable.

But it’s an illusion.

Whatever you run from (or hide from in this case) is still running and active in your system. It’s only that you’re avoiding the inevitable. Whatever is painful, pushing your button will still be there when you come back.

It doesn’t go away.

If you find yourself withdrawing as a strategy, consider standing in front of a mirror, look yourself in the eyes and say “hiding from the world does not serve. There is nothing that my mortal self can’t experience that my immortal self can’t love.”

Here at Maximum Growth, we are helping you to face the tough issues, to hold your hand when you need to, to create the time and space to apply the work.

Just ask Shani, one of our Maximum Growth Members who courageously faced her stuff in class this week and how much she helped others to do the same.

We have a beautiful community to surround you with you go on the journey within you.

Here’s to looking in the mirror {first_name},

With love,

 

Signature

Leadership Coach
Counsellor & Master Certified Demartini Method Facilitator

Try A New Thing Here

Did you know that every problem already has a solution whether you know it or not?

I’m not kidding.

Just ask for the answer to be revealed to you.

Now, this isn’t some hippy woo-woo thinking. I’ve used it with clients and myself for years and what is revealed is deeply profound.

While I invested my time walking the Camino in Spain 5 years ago, I spent a lot of time working on my deeper challenges and issues. Childhood stuff.

Towards the end of the walk I still felt a little lost in my purpose and where I was going.

I decided to walk the Camino Primitive, extra 100km and I asked the universe to reveal to me what my path and purpose was​ (and as clear daylight so I couldn’t mistake it for something else).

On the first night I found myself alone, with no other pilgrims the entire walk. I felt something jarring inside me that this wasn’t the path I needed to be on (It’s hard to describe but easy to recognise). I knew I needed to be with people. I had spent so long being on my own in life, and it was time to be with others.

Instead, I did something that was un-Camino like but I listened to and I caught a cab back to the Camino Francis (that’s the main walk) and started the last 100km from there.

That night, I met a group of 8 walkers and we became instant friends.

The older man in the group had decided the day before to become a counsellor (Hmm. Interesting universe). The next day we walked and talked for hours. I helped him have a deeply profound transformation about his purpose and mission that he told everyone that evening to spend time walking with me.

The next day, the younger one of the group asked to walk together. His heart was heavy because his friend had died in his arms. I helped him to feel that it was an honor to spend the last moments with his friend before he died and how much a gift to be with him so he was not alone as he passed.

I had in depth discussions on life with every person I met. It was crystal clear my journey as a counsellor, coach and consultant and that I couldn’t hide from what I am here to do.

So {first_name}, try it for yourself. Make sure you have a clear question to ask the universe. What clarity are you seeking? What question would you like answered?

Make sure you have a clear question to the universe, then be open to what answers you’ll receive.

Hit reply and share with me what is revealed to you.

With gold nuggets of wisdom,

Tanya x

Leadership Coach

Counsellor & Master Certified Demartini Method Facilitator

Maximum Growth: Private & Group Coaching Available

P.S. If you haven’t heard, I am running a Walkshop in Sydney, walking from Bondi Beach to Barrenjoey lighthouse (130Km) over 5 days. It is only for 3 places left. Click here to find out more.

Are You Willing To . . ?

I’ve noticed most common to people in the personal development world is they value learning. They soak up learning, and sometimes keep jamming in more learning (sometimes to a point of being overwhelmed).

Learning is great. It can make you feel like you are growing and going somewhere.

There are times when what we are learning isn’t beneficial. For instance, how much of what you have acquired over the years is aligned with the laws by which the whole universe works? Very little, right?

Growing up in a Catholic household, I was taught to be kind, generous, giving, and to be respectful of others. But these qualities are subjective to everyone. The government perceives themselves to be looking after it’s people by closing borders and having a hard lockdown, whereas some people think it’s not.

There are only a specific number of people or individuals who learn the laws of the universe and live their life accordingly. There are only a few Students of Wisdom, willing to unlearn what they have been taught and relearn a new way of experiencing the world.

Alvin Toffler, a writer and futurist believed most illiterate individuals of the twenty-first century will actually not be the ones who cannot properly write or read but who can’t relearn, unlearn, and relearn. #anothergoldnuggetofwisdom

Rather than obtaining more information (and misinformation) maybe what is required is time for unlearning and relearning a new way and method of thinking.

A new way of thinking leads to a new way of being. #anothergoldnuggetofwisdom

In our Mindset Classes at Maximum Growth we teach you the foundations of these laws of the universe, quality questions and quality answers to learn a new framework for living. Once the framework has been laid (and this takes time), then when you learn something new, you can ask yourself is this aligned with universal laws?

With gratitude and gold nuggets of wisdom,

 

Signature

Leadership Coach

Counsellor & Master Certified Demartini Method Facilitator

Validation, Fame, Riches…

Is it ever ok to compare ourselves? (Even to teens?)

When you’re focused on a goal, pouring effort and energy into getting somewhere, it’s easy to feel… inadequate. To begin comparing yourself when things don’t come quick enough.

Like to a 16 year old on Tik Tok who has way less experience than you, yet talks to 1.7 million people per day, and can ‘print money’ by making a single post.

“Was I absent the day they handed out the income Miracle Grow lesson?” You might think.

And yet, you know something that teen doesn’t, {first_name}. Something that can ONLY be learned through the inexorable march of time. Years of hard-won lessons when all your chips were down.

Your kernel of wisdom, {first_name}, is that life is not a competition.

Validation, fame, riches… they’re not notches on the doorframe of meaning.

The WORK is the reward. The results are icing.

And sometimes we want to shovel the icing in our mouth and have forgotten about the work.

So.

Align the work (if that be marketing, money making or mission related) with who you are, and what you love. That is at the top of your checklist. No point trying to be someone you are not. You’ll make an impact and income you love.

This came up in a session with my client this week, where her parents moved over to Australia 15 years ago to start a new business. Their marriage ended in divorce and split the $2.2 million of assets 50/50.

This is where it becomes interesting. . .

Her father poured his heart and soul into his business. He built his business around his inspiration and 15 years later has built a $6 million dollar business. Being himself paid.

Her mum wanted to be wealthy, has done little work to get there, followed others advice and has $100K left. She compares herself to him now and isn’t being herself (and her finances show that {first_name}).

Now, if you find yourself comparing, or flagging in your inspiration, or trying to ignore a tiny whisper saying, “who am I to do this? WANT this?”…

Think of all the things you’ve already achieved that have been meaningful to you. The tenacity, grit, inspiration, and love you’ve poured into yourself already to get here.

The more you honor you, the more the world will reflect that and honor you right back.

​Remember, a little wisdom from Abraham Lincoln “I’m not bound to win, I’m bound to be true. I’m not bound to succeed, I’m bound to live up to the light within me”

Tanya ‘shining light on you’ x

 

Signature

Leadership Coach
Counsellor & Master Certified Demartini Method Facilitator

Which Kind Of Learner Are You? (I’m #2)

You’ve got 2 types of learners:

Passive

and

Active

Passive learners prefer to absorb information, attend seminars, read books and learn tools they may – or may not – use. Pure knowledge is the goal. (Think academics, researchers, and some content creators.)

Active learners prefer to apply what they learn. They gain insights and distinctions by taking imperfect action and earn wisdom through facing challenges. (Think artists, consultants, business owners.)

Passive learners pay to learn.

Active learners invest to learn (because they turn their learnings into earnings).

Now, I know someone reading this (maybe you) is thinking, “oh, active learning is clearly better”.

Likely because we’ve all heard, “to know and not to do is not yet to know.” (Plus, who doesn’t love essentially being paid to learn.)

It depends on your lens of evaluation as to which one you use.

Are you learning for enjoyment? Or are you learning for self-growth, business growth and ROI?

One isn’t better than the other. But you can (almost always) choose one over the other.

I turn it into a fun challenge – “how can I make money from what I’m about to learn?” (even if I’m spending money to learn first. Especially then.)

It’s a simple perspective shift, but rare, I’ve noticed.

So why aren’t more people Active Learners?

In my experience, 2 reasons:

  1. Because no one has given them the structure to continue applying their tools and make money from them as they learn.
  2. Because it requires actually doing the work. We’ve been pounded with the myth of passive income so hard that we think learning = growth. Anyone who’s been down the seminar cycle knows this isn’t true. Action generates income.

 

I looked for years for a course, a mentor… anything that gave me a structure to apply what I learned and turn it into growth (for myself, my business and my income).

In the end, I was the lone she-wolf. I had to grit my teeth and persist. (I wouldn’t recommend it.)

So I built the space I was searching for – one with the education/application cycle built in. I figured if I cared about doing the work – and making money from it – surely others are willing to do it and reap the rewards too.

And it would be MUCH easier in a pack than solo. (Yes, for the accountability, but also because I’ve walked the path already and can shine light on it for others.)

Our members (and you, if you are one) already know this: So – meet Maximum Growth Membership.

Maximum Growth isn’t a seminar where you’re expected to learn and then maybe apply the tools later if you have the discipline.

But an ongoing community & classroom with the long term, compound growth built in.

An academy for Active Learning (and those who want to earn from their learning.)

On 1st April I’m opening doors for a special yearly price (with extra bonuses for fast action takers because it’s also my birthday). Available for one day only.

Why a year’s membership? To guarantee long-term results.

Imagine it – an entire year of Active Learning. What could you do with that?

 

With gratitude,

Signature

Leadership Coach
Counsellor & Master Certified Demartini Method Facilitator

PS – this is the system I’ve used for over 12 years to overcome some of the biggest hurdles in business and life that a human can face: suicide, divorce, public scrutiny, overwhelm, and turning them into the inspiration, income and impact I love. If there’s one thing I’ve learned it’s that what you do on one day is memorable, but what you do every day is meaningful. If you like the sound of that (and getting even more of it over an entire year) then feel free to send us a message.

Skeletons In The Closet

You have any skeletons in the closet?​

I do.

(And not the dancing buns-out in the bedroom on a Sunday kind.)

When I started my business, I leaned HARD on that affirmation, “I do whatever it takes and pay whatever price to bring my services of love to the world.”

Emphasis on “do whatever it takes.”

While I’m itching to give you the gory details, I can’t (because it would implicate certain others). But I can tell you that the pressure of someone finding out the juicy details of my past and plastering them over the church walls was a huge concern of mine.

Like those leaders who are now publicly denounced for tweets they made years ago.

Looking over your shoulder constantly does not make for a smooth ride. The self-judgement gnaws at your conscience, taking away time, focus and even ability to grow yourself or your business.

I remember it well. It kept me trapped for the first 4 years of my business.

No matter how hard I hustled or the deals I cut… I never seemed to crack my income ceiling because I was afraid of being seen, being noticed as my skeletons in the closet might come out.

That is, until I remembered the golden rule of business growth:

Ceilings are self-imposed.

(We don’t see the world as it is… we see it as we are.)

So I looked deeply at myself and my past actions. I took them out one by one and dissolved them until I fully loved myself for my choices in life. I dissolved the skeletons AND the closet they lived in. (If you’ve never done this, it’s like a slingshot for your growth.)

Fast forward a year…

I’d booked way more sessions than the year before (nearly double, in fact). And yet I wasn’t run ragged or constantly bailing on friends to field calls. I wasn’t even stressed.

And interestingly, some of the clients came to me with exactly the same problem I was hiding. Love that when you find order, others with disorder seek you.

Very much NOT the hustle I was told to expect would get me there, but more flow.

I was living what I believe is officially called, “THE DREAM”™.

See, people had been telling me to learn sales, or be all over social media, standard marketing stuff

I’d heard that I had to do all-the-things.

But the only thing I’ve invested in over and over and over again… is my mindset.

Because I KNEW when you just clear your baggage, you change your behaviour… and THAT lands you business.

It starts in your inner world.

And then I proved it again and again for the last 12+ years.

I’d say it’s magic, but it’s really just brain science.

Fewer blocks = more magnetism.

Magnetism = sales.

Some examples:

  • You conquer rejection because you’re clear on your mission. (And you won’t let others’ opinions get in the way.
  • You get platinum opportunities and clients because you have certainty in your worth. (Which makes people trust you and talk about you to the right people.)
  • You raise your rates because you see insights your customers can’t. (And they gratefully pay your fees.)
  • You expand your impact because your vision and awareness have grown. (Without forgetting where you came from or sacrificing your humility.)

 

It’s like the universe rushes to fill that void your subconscious has capped with a ceiling.

Like breathing a sigh of relief “finally… space for {first_name} to do more. BE more.”

(Relief that reduces wrinkles and makes you feel great.)

Listen. What I’m saying is, you don’t need more tools or an expensive seminar. You just need the space and structure to dissolve whatever’s in your way as it pops up.

Clear your blocks consistently and reap rewards consistently.

If you want any of that – more clarity on your business, more certainty in yourself, more income to match your (raised) worth… hell, even skeleton eviction (ok, ESPECIALLY skeleton eviction) – you’re going to jump into Maximum Growth Membership.

Here’s to leveling up in leadership.

 

Signature

Leadership Coach
Counsellor & Master Certified Demartini Method Facilitator

Intelligent guesses only (a business question)

You’re a smart cookie – take a guess:

What do you think is the least sexy idea in business growth?

Tax strategy? Insurance and indemnity?

If you ask me… I’d say it’s the one that gurus find the hardest to sell because it doesn’t hit you with an instant dopamine fix:

Doing the work.

Not “hustle”, because that leads to burnout. (And got romanticised by Gary Vee, which is why it sells.)

Not “work smarter” because that’s too subjective. (What is “smart”, anyway? 4 hour work week stuff? Even Tim Ferris doesn’t do that.)

Just this:

Do what you know will turn you into the person you need to be to get what you would most love to have… 10% faster than is comfortable. Because maximum growth occurs at the border of support and challenge. You can handle 10% right?

(See? Unsexy. But true.)

The thing is, the masses don’t rush toward truth. They eat up fantasies.

Sidenote: this is why I built the Maximum Growth membership on doing the work. I love helping those who want an inspiring income and impact, get it by doing work that breaks their ceilings. It’s what I’m known for. But it’s not for the masses. They’re not like you and I who are willing to chip away until we arrive.

Back to the gurus for a second:

They know this truth – that consistently doing the work is the key to all success – but they still sell the fantasy or run mostly one-off events instead of multi-month programs. (Which require more of their personal time and input.)

Even though in their own businesses they’ve proven to themselves that long term application has an astronomically higher probability of personal and business growth.

(Let me clarify – there’s a place for seminars. I love them too. But the foundation of growth has always been action.)

I’ve worked closely with them. Spoken on their stages.

And as the years went by I realised, I can’t keep waiting around until someone runs another event for me to level up (either as a presenter or an attendee). Neither can humanity. Or anyone who’s inspired to make an impact and leave a legacy.

I’m inspired by the message I want to bring to the world. And I’ve got work to do to make that happen.

I owe it to myself to do what I can to bring my soul’s calling into the world. Which means taking consistent action, no matter how small. Not relying on someone else’s schedule.

You also have a mission that belongs to and requires you. Even if you’re not quite 100% clear on what it is yet.

It will be your life’s work – the things your children know you for, that the world thanks you for, that you’re handsomely, financially rewarded for.

And that takes work.

Slow, consistent work, but the payoff is guaranteed growth.

Unsexy, simple, and yet the key to your most inspired, expanded life.

If there’s one message you take away from this email today, make it this: do the work. Not all at once, but spread out over the long term. So you can bring all of you to the world, without burning out.

 

Signature

Leadership Coach
Counsellor & Master Certified Demartini Method Facilitator

Everyday Miracle Maker

Everyday Miracle Maker

This book is perfect for anyone who wants to develop their intuition, raise their awareness and be a conscious life creator.

The world is made up of vibrations and you are picking up on those frequencies daily. What you choose to do with your life, who you choose to spend time with, what foods you eat and so on (and your perceptions around these) are what matters because you are absorbing its vibrational frequencies.

Silvana is an intuitive coach and while working with clients she explains she has a sensory response. She experiences reactions in her body that are messages for her to help her client. I love this, it’s tuning into much more than what the client is saying, how they are saying it and their body language. Just as the practitioner will feel their shift and heart open, they will feel their charges too.

She shares a story about a close friend’s mother who was in hospital in intensive care, had depleted energy and was losing a lot of weight. Silvana offered to make her a week’s worth of chicken soup. While preparing the food she blessed it with restorative qualities of healing and love. She pictured her mum sitting up in bed, loving her soup and getting stronger. Two weeks later her friends mum had refused all food but the chicken soup and told her daughter “I don’t know what’s in this soup but its making me feel a lot better.”

That’s powerful. It makes you think about the energy you are broadcasting at work, home, the conversations you have with people. What vibes are you giving off?

Deliberately choose to increase the quality of the energy you broadcast through your body into the world. This can be done through intention. The intention to change your thoughts to raise your frequency higher to create more miracles in your life.

There are three main perspectives to be mindful of when being in the creating space. There is withdrawing and inner reflecting, otherwise known as being a miner. This is hard work and laborious which means you cannot spend all your time underground. Next is a mountaineer, climbing mountains as a challenge and seeing from a higher perspective but eventually you have to come down. Lastly has a pilot, with a bird’s eye view of the sky but like any plane, eventually you have to land and refuel. Allow yourself to experience all three perspectives to be the most productive in creating without losing touch with reality.

Notice the signs and experiences along the way. There are many if you tune into your environment and the conversations you have with people. Keep a diary of the everyday miracles that you experience and have gratitude that the universe is always providing you with what you need.

There are 7 keys to becoming an everyday miracle maker.

Key 1: Soul
Key 2: Authenticity
Key 3: Intuition
Key 4: Gratitude
Key 5: Alignment
Key 6: Creativity
Key 7: Optimism

KEY 1: SOUL

The souls greatest desire is love and wisdom. The soul’s mission is having a human life to gain wisdom through its experience to know love. The quality of your life is determined by the quality you allow your soul to guide your decision making. I love this. The quality of your life is about how much you listen to your inner authority, not the outer authorities. If we don’t know what to do, the smart thing is to hit the pause button, move to the sidelines and
review your plans. Sometimes it’s about making adjustments and sometimes it’s about playing a different game on a different court. You can only hear this in the silence.

KEY 2: AUTHENTICITY

Every relationship is built on the quality of relationship you have with yourself. Hell yeah! Then the less charges you have on you, the less people push your buttons, the more you love you, the more you love others.

Everyday miracle makers know their daily work is about learning when and how to shift their vibrational frequency in their beliefs, thoughts, actions and language to bring them into alignment with what they desire.

Sometimes because of others’ expectations we can lose sight of who we are and what is right and true for us. When we are inauthentic it depletes us of energy. When we are authentic, it gives us energy. Identify the person you would love to be in your inner and outer world (ensure they match) and you’ll find authenticity.

KEY 3: INTUITION

When you can’t see it, sense it. Beautifully said. Your intuition sources information from many places. Depending on your intuitive development, your intuition can tune into information about people, places, events and things and is not constrained by time, space or retained information.

Learning to interpret your intuition takes time but it is a skill anyone can learn. If your intuition guides you about something stay true to what you feel. Pressing the override button is not a good idea as the more you shut it down, the less likely it is to turn on. Your intuition knows what you need, even when you think you know what you want. Spend time developing it.

KEY 4: GRATITUDE

Gratitude comes from the heart. It’s valuable shown and spoken. To experience gratitude as a feeling, hold an intention and focus your attention at your heart center. Gratitude amplifies your vibrational frequency. Practice it daily.

KEY 5: ALIGNMENT

Alignment is being in agreement. When your beliefs, thoughts, actions, and language reinforce each other, you’re aligned. This produces a feeling of certainty that you’re on the right path and that all your energy is travelling in the same direction.

The cause of much pain and suffering is caused by the illusion that were separate from others. We are connected to everyone, the energetic links we have with people, places, event and things travel both ways – like a link between
your computer and the internet.

Choose to think differently when you are in a challenging situation as you have the power and ability to raise your vibrational frequency of any emotion you experience by choosing to think differently.

KEY 6 CREATIVITY

When you are in a creative zone, you don’t have stress. In your creative zone, you get to be a conscious creator in all areas of your life. Spend more time doing things that are creative. While doing work listen to inspiring uplifting music to help raise your vibration and transfer the vibration into you, and into your work.

KEY 7 OPTIMISM

Growth is uncomfortable and an essential part of life.

Healing happens on many levels. You can heal with imagination and intention. Whether your child or someone you know is struggling with a health condition, or a parent or grandparent is frustrated and sad about their lack of mobility or independence, in situations like these and others, everyday miracle makers can use their imagination and broadcast vibrational frequencies of healing intention towards the person in need or to themselves. If this is a thought that seems implausible, then read The Field Summary.

You are responsible for developing your self-awareness. As you become aware of raising your vibration and shifting frequencies to more optimal ones you develop powerful life skills that bring you what your soul desires. Tune into the world around you and within you.

Turn your light up and together we will light up the world.

with gratitude,

Signature

You Forgot, Didn’t You

Uh-oh.

Hear that? It’s the sound of new year’s goals shuffling to a dusty corner in the back of humanity’s mind, waiting until December to be plucked out and shaken off again.

(Most likely accompanied by a twinge of regret at what they left undone.)

Sooooo, let’s not do that.

Let’s set ourselves apart from the mass populace. (Meaning, let’s not just talk about our dreams, but work towards them too.)

And so I present to you this reminder from your mentor (yours truly) to get re-inspired by your goals. (There really is something to that saying: where attention goes, energy flows, and results show.)

(I tell you this because I almost forgot. Oops. Thank God for google reminders.)

So, whip out your 2021 goals with me. And run through this quarterly checklist I created for you:

  1. Are your goals still in the right priority? Shift them up or down to ensure you’re focused on what’s most important to you.
  2. Are there any that need more love than they’ve gotten? (add those to your to-do list)
  3. Which ones are non-contenders now? (maybe save them for next year)
  4. Is there anything new that you would love to achieve this year? (could be in the next few weeks or right up to December 31st)
  5. Do a review – have you knocked any of them off? Or achieved things that you hadn’t even written down? (HINT: write those unexpected achievements down now.)
  6. What have you done already that’s worked or moved the needle?
  7. What actions can you take, education can you get, or conversations can you have to build even more momentum?

 

Also, fun thought experiment:

Take a few deep breaths. Slowly roll over in your mind the people, things, moments, experiences, lessons you’re grateful for. Feel that ‘thunk’ moment you come into presence and gratitude. Then visualise what your life will be like as you continually grow into who you need to be to get the things you’d love. What will you get to be, do and have? What will you not have to do, or get to stop doing?

Ok, given today’s Sunday, this is the perfect day to sit down and do this.

Just take a few mins now, as you’re reading this. Give a quick prod to your consciousness to say, “hey! Remember what we’re here for. Let’s make sure we got the systems in place to get this done.”

And then, let’s go get ‘em.

 

Signature

 

PS – So easy to get distracted these days. Between Netflix and parenthood, I tell you… I’m lucky I remember to unplug the toaster after brekkie. (Once you’ve run out of a burning building at 3am, you think about these things.) Anyway, I adopted an affirmation to keep me on track, which you’re welcome to adopt too: “if it ain’t scheduled, it ain’t happening.” It’s also why I built a membership when I could have built a seminar. #chewonthatthought

PPS – If you want a strategy and system in place to grow not only your mind, but your business, income and impact then… stay tuned.

Is It Ever Ok To Compare Ourselves? (Even to teens?)

When you’re focused on a goal, pouring effort and energy into getting somewhere, it’s easy to feel… inadequate. To begin comparing yourself when things don’t come quick enough.

Like to a 16 year old on Tik Tok who has way less experience than you, yet talks to 1.7 million people per day, and can ‘print money’ by making a single post.

“Was I absent the day they handed out the income and impact Miracle Grow?” You might think.

And yet, you know something that teen doesn’t, {first_name}. Something that can ONLY be learned through the inexorable march of time. Years of hard-won lessons when all your chips were down.

Your kernel of wisdom, {first_name}, is this:

Validation, fame, riches… they’re not notches on the doorframe of meaning.

The WORK is the reward. The results are icing.

(Especially useful when you’re on benefit #127 in your Demartini Method and still looking for the one gusher that crumbles the house of cards.)

So.

If you find yourself comparing, or flagging in your inspiration, or trying to ignore a tiny whisper saying, “who am I to do this? WANT this?”…

Think of all the things you’ve already achieved. The tenacity, grit, inspiration, and love you’ve poured into yourself already to get here. And let THAT be your validation. Your certainty. Your own personal manifesto that, “no matter where I’m at right now, I’m always worth the effort to take the next step.”

Remember to pause and smell the roses, {first_name}.

And then take. that. step.

Signature

What’s Your Story?

I’ve been feeling flat this week.

It’s not that I’ve lost inspiration or anything. Far from it. The sessions I’ve had this week definitely kept that pep in my step.

One in particular stands out: a member of my family who shared how one thing I said when we were 9, gave him the will to keep living. At the ripe age of 9! (Talk about a kid counsellor.)

Moments like that make me realise you never know the impact you have.

And here’s the real kicker – especially the longevity of your impact.

We might see so little of our impact in any given moment. But the ripple effects? The ones that emerge as a byproduct of your initial action? They’re almost infinite.

So, if you’re wondering, “what’s the point of it all”… let this be your reminder. Keep being you and follow your heart.

You mean more than you know to the people you touch.

Ok, back to why I was feeling flat this week for a second: I think it’s because of where my focus went. Like anyone who’s on a mission, we have big goals for 2021 here at MG.

And when you’re stretching beyond your comfort zone, it’s easy to focus only on numbers: followers, subscribers, dollars, clients – and if you’re corporate – market share, etc.

Those are important, yes.

But there’s one metric that defies data, yet is worth tracking:

Why you began in the first place. Not necessarily your grand vision. But that little kernel of ‘why’ inside you.

One big belly laugh in our marketing meeting was all it took for me. I remembered the lightness I want to evoke in this community. And that connection to something greater than ourselves.

So… coming full circle to our subject line today:

What’s YOUR story, {first_name}? Why did you start your business?

Remember why you’re really doing this. Is it for those things you can reduce to a number? Or about something you truly care about? SomeONE, even?

Doesn’t have to be pages or paragraphs. Or even beautifully articulated.

Maybe it’s as simple as, “to spend more time with my family” or “because I truly love changing people’s lives”.

No matter how big or small, just hold onto that truth: be you. Follow your heart.

 

Signature

Leadership Coach
Counsellor & Master Certified Demartini Method Facilitator

Chocolates, Ping Pong And Keith Urban

I’m writing this on a plane to Coffs Harbour.

You won’t read it until Sunday (it’s Friday right now – hello from the past!), but my fingers itched to get this down. Because when inspiration knocks, you listen.

My partner, Aaron, is snoozing next to me. Looking dashing with that ‘headrest tilt’ and signature plane nap move: the slackjaw half-snore.

I could probably float a ping pong ball on his exhales.

(Alas – no space for pingpong next to the bottles and blankies for Bonnie, my daughter. #priorities)

And of course, by the time you read this, it’ll be Feb 14th. Which is one of the only universal holidays that you might love one year and dread the next.

But that’s only partly why Aaron and I haven’t planned anything for each other for the big V-day.

I don’t really like chocolate. Or flowers. Or wine. (Keith Urban tickets on the other hand, I will enthusiastically accept.)

Besides, the spirit of today isn’t about big or expensive displays of affection.

Really, it’s a day for celebrating love, which is why we’re investing our weekend with Aaron’s mum. She’s getting older and a little forgetful. And we want to make sure she has as much Bonnie time as possible.

Because that’s something worth living more years for.

See, romance is beautiful but true love and appreciation… that’s unconditional. And you can share it with anyone. Not just your partner. (Though please do share your love with them. Vigorously!)

So. Whether you’re picnicking like lovebirds with your partner, or seducing a pint of Ben and Jerry’s like it’s your stand-in soulmate…

Reach out to the people who matter to you today. Let them know they matter.

Because that’s all every one of us wants, really. To know we’re special to someone. We’re loved.

And hey – {first_name}, YOU matter to me. You give my life meaning. So thank you for being you.

Have a love-filled day.

 

Signature

Leadership Coach
Counsellor & Master Certified Demartini Method Facilitator
Maximum Growth: Private & Group Coaching Available

 

PS – quick idea for a ‘last minute’ present today: write a love letter to someone you care deeply about. Partner, parent, friend, brother (yes, bromance counts), teacher… whoever. You don’t have to wax poetic or anything. Just write from your heart. What they mean to you, why you love them, what you love about them. I guarantee it’ll fill up your heart and theirs today. And if you can’t think of anyone, your words are always welcome here, with me.

5 Levels Of Leadership

5 Levels Of Leadership

Achieving leadership is not easy, nor is it like earning a degree. “You don’t achieve it and then leave it.” Once you achieve leadership it does not guarantee you will stay there.

Leadership is a verb (doing word) not a noun. C W Perry states “leadership is accepting people where they are and taking them somewhere.” To succeed, you help others follow you up the ladder. If you are not moving, they are not following. You know you have achieved a leadership when the people you work with are becoming leaders themselves.

The form of leadership will change depending on the relationship you have with each person in the team. You will be on different levels with different people and the level can change quickly. People will respond to you based on the level of leadership you are on with them.

The Five Levels of Leadership
Level One: Position
Level Two: Permission
Level Three: Production
Level Four: People Development
Level Five: Pinnacle

LEVEL ONE: POSITION

You have been invited to the leadership table. Someone has seen you have leadership potential. They don’t say what they are going to do, they show what they are going to do. You have been invited to be a part of the leadership game. Here you grab the opportunity to show what you can do for the team and the organization. You have to prove you deserve the position.

When an individual received a position and title, some level of authority or power usually comes with them. You have only limited power to begin with as it must be earned from your fellow team members. The infantryman’s Journal (1954) says, “No man is a leader until his appointment is ratified in the minds and hearts of his men”
You gain leadership, not just a position.

‘Good’ leaders as Maxwell describes, which I am going to label as effective leaders as we don’t want to place a moral ‘good’ or ‘bad’ on leaders, are genuine, strive to better themselves. Frances Hesselbein said “Leadership is much less about what you do, and much more about who you are.”

What is in the way? Fears, needs, and unproductive habits! Explore the depths of who you are and understand yourself, know yourself and define your values and there will be a transformation. “Values are the soul of your leadership, they drive your behaviour”

Effective leadership changes individuals lives. It forms teams. It builds organizations. It impacts communities. It has the potential to impact the world. But never forget the position is only the starting point.

Downside of Position
Positional leaders make people feel small

By not having a genuine belief in them
By assuming people can’t instead of assuming they can
By assuming people won’t rather than believing they will
Be seeing their problems more readily than their potential
By viewing them as liabilities instead of assets

They focus on working to gain titles. They believe they have rights which has a sense of entitlement. Each of us as leaders must strive to grow up and grow into a leadership role without relying on rights.

Turnover is high for positional leaders because people don’t quit companies, people quit people

Clock watchers
People who watch the time, can’t wait to be out of there. They are already saying goodbye to coworkers at 4.30pm and are out of the door at 5pm.

Just enough workers
People will do just the bare minimum to get what they have to get done, no more.

Level 1 Image
“I always give 110% to my job. 40% on Mondays, 30% on Tuesday, 20% on Wednesday. 15% on Thursday and 5% on Friday.”

Mentally absent
They show up, get their paycheck and leave.

You’ve heard ‘it’s lonely at the top.’ True leadership won’t be lonely at the top when you help others to become leaders, you have people walking along side you and helping you to climb the mountain. With others joining you on your leadership journey, you will find it hard to be lonely at the top.

Your leadership will not be threatened. You do not need to guard your position. Help others get where they want while you get where you want.

Moving to Level 2
Ensure you find ways to influence action. Have you asked them how you can help them? Ask them about the challenges they have in their position. Make it an opportunity to work together as a team to make a difference. Form relationships. Show interest.

Leaders don’t fake it until they make it. They demonstrate through being a leader. People will feel true and fake authenticity.

People skills, not power gets things done. “If you want to become a better leader, let go of control and start focusing on cooperation.” You move beyond your job title, move beyond your job description. You interact with people, build relationships. “You must take responsibility to learn who they are, find out their needs, and help them and the team win.”

Raise the bar
Never think you have arrived. Always raise the bar further and further.

Lifelong process
Leadership is a lifelong process. Today I received a leadership position. I will endeavor every day to become a better leader.” It is a journey. Not the destination. Effective leaders don’t take anything for granted. They keep working and leading. Leaders are initiators. Socrates said, “let him that would move the world, first move himself.”

LEVEL TWO: PERMISSION

Here, you move from “me” to “we” attitude. Building relationships develops a foundation for effectively leading others.

Relationship is more powerful than price
Relationship is more powerful than delivery
Relationship is more powerful than quality
Relationship is more powerful than service

Upside of Permission
Level 2 shifts from me to we.

Leadership is an opportunity to serve. Leadership permission increases the energy levels. Leadership permission opens up channels of communication.

On Level 2, the top-down positional leadership is replaced with side-by-side relationships.

Recently the author came across an explanation of the Chinese symbol for the verb “to listen” I thought it gave tremendous insight into the concept. The word, pronounced ‘ting’ is make up of smaller symbols with specific meaning.

Those symbols represent you, indicating that the focus is on the other person, not on yourself. The ear, the primary tool used in listening, the eyes, which we used to discover nonverbal clues to communication, undivided attention, which every person deserves if we intend to listen to all that is said, and the heart, which indicates that we are open to the other person on an emotional level, not just an intellectual one. In other words, to really listen, we must have:

Ears – I hear what you have to say
Eyes – I see what you say
Heart – I feel what you say
Undivided attention – I value who you are and what you say

Leadership permission focuses on the value each person can contribute to the team. Leadership permission nurtures trust. Trust is the foundation of permission. If you have integrity with people, you develop trust. The more trust you develop, the stronger the relationship becomes. The better the relationship, the greater the potential for a leader to gain permission to lead. It’s a building process that takes time, energy and intentionality. “When the crunch comes, people cling to those they know they can trust – those who are not detached, but involved.” James Stockdale.

Downside of Permission
The pressure is on you to build relationships. Permission leadership appears too soft for some people.
Permission leadership can be frustrating for some achievers. Permission leadership can be taken advantage of. There are four kinds of people

  • Takers, those who leverage the relationship to better themselves, but not you or anyone else
  • Developers, those who leverage the relationship bettering them and you.
  • Acquaintances, those who live off their relationships with you but never do anything about it. They hang around waiting for something ‘good’ to happen, content to live off the success of others but do not take responsibility to grow themselves.
  • Friends, those who enjoy their relationships with you, returning favour but not taking advantage of it.

 

Permission leaders need to be open to be effective. They need to be authentic. This type of leadership is difficult for people who are not naturally likeable. You must like people and become more likeable

The bottom line of Level 2 is that most of the downside of leadership comes from dealing with people.

Best Behaviors on Level 2

How to gain people’s permission

  1. Connect with yourself before trying to connect with others. The first person we must examine is ourselves. Learn your strengths and weaknesses.
  2. Develop a people orientated leadership style. “Leading an organization is as much about soul as it is about systems. Effective leadership finds its source in understanding” Herb Kelleher.
  3. Practice the Golden Rule. Treat others, as you want to be treated
  4. Become the Chief Encourager of your team. As a leader, you have great influence and power to lift people up. “I am glad you work with me; you add incredible value to the team.” Means a lot coming from someone who has the best interest of the team, department or organization at heart. If you become chief encourager of the people on your team, they will work hard and strive to meet your positive expectations.
  5. Strike a balance between care and candor. Regardless of what they do, I am committed to giving them unconditional love.

 

An example, Sheryl came to work with me because she was a real go-getter with a lot of potential. For six months, I watched her work, and what I discovered was that she was great at the hard side of leadership. She was energetic. She was organised. She planned the day, the week, the month, the quarter and the year. And she always got things done. But she totally neglected the soft side of leadership – the recreational part. She wasn’t winning over anyone she was leading. As a result, she wasn’t gaining influence.

Caring defines the relationship while candor directs the relationship. Leaders have to make the best decisions for the largest group of people. Therefore, leaders do not cater to the individual if it is not for the best interest of the whole. Caring should not suppress candor, while candor should never displace caring

 

Laws of Leadership at the Permission Level

  1. The Law of influence: The true measure of leadership is influence, nothing more, nothing less. How does a leader get another to do something willingly, excellently and consistently? By influencing them?
  2. The Law of Addiction: Leaders add Value by serving others. They lead in order to help people and add value to them.
  3. The Law of Solid Ground: Leaders trust the foundation of leadership. You cannot influence people who don’t trust you. Trust is the glue that holds people together.
  4. The Law of Magnetism: Who you are is who you attract. Birds of a feather flock together. It is a fact of life that like-minded people are attracted to one another. Again, if you want to change your team, change yourself.
  5. The Law of Connection: Leaders touch a heart before they ask for a hand. Connecting having the ability to identify with and relate to people in such a way that it increases your influence with them.
  6. The Law of Buy-In: People buy into a leader, then the vision. Before you ask people to move forward to achieve the vision, they must first buy into you as a leader. Before they buy into you as the leader, you must have earned their trust and gained permission to lead them

 

Beliefs that help a leader move up to level 3

  1. Relationships alone are not enough
  2. Building relationships requires twofold growth. People must grow with each other. Growing requires compatibility. Growing with each other requires intentionality.

    If you are married or in a long term relationship, then you probably how these dynamics come into play. When you first meet your partner, you moved towards each other, based on attraction, common ground and shared experiences. You established the relationship. However, the relationship can’t last if you never go beyond those initial experiences. To stay together, you need to sustain the relationship. That requires common growth. If you don’t grow together, there is a very likely change you may grow apart.

    Similarly, if you are having any staying power as a leader, you must grow towards and with your people. Just because you have developed strong relationships, don’t think you are done on the relationship side.
  3. Achieving the vision as a team is worth risking the relationship. Risk always presents in leadership. Any time you try to move forward there is a risk. There is no progress without risk.

    If people relate to the company they work for, if they form an emotional tie to it and buy into its dreams, they will pour their hearts into making it better. What is the key link between people and the company? The leader they work with. That leader is the face, heart, and hands of the company on the day-to-day basis. If the leader connects and cares, that makes a huge difference.

 

Guide to Growing through Level 2

The basic guidelines will help you grow as a leader

  1. Be sure you have the right attitude toward people
  2. Connect with yourself
  3. Understand where you come from
  4. Express value for each person on your team
  5. Evaluate where you are with your team
  6. Accept the whole person as part of leading
  7. Make a fun goals
  8. Give people your undivided attention
  9. Become your teams encourager in chief
  10. Practice care and candor

LEVEL THREE: PRODUCTION

Effective leaders always make things happen. They get results. They can make a significant impact on an organization. Not only are they productive individually, but they also are able to help the team produce. This ability gives Level 3 leaders confidence, credibility, and increased influence.

No one can fake Level 3. Either you are producing for your organization and adding to its bottom line (whatever that may be) or you’re not. Simple.

They are self-motivated to produce. As a result, they create momentum and develop an environment of success, which makes the team better and stronger. They show promise. They have connections. They play politics. They have seniority. The organization is desperate.

Upside of Production

  1. Leadership production gives credibility to the leader. Authentic leaders know the way and show the way productively. Their leadership talk is supported by their walk. They deliver results. They live on their performance, not their potential. They lead by example. And their ability to get results tends to silence their critics and build their reputation.

    They take their people where they want to go, they don’t send them there. They are more like a tour guide than travel agents. Why? Because people always believe what we do more than what we say.

  2. Leadership Production Models and sets the standard of others visually. That’s the power of production. If you can develop solid relationships with people and you can produce, you can be an effective leader. “His cardinal mistake is that isolates himself allows no one to see him. ”Lincoln. He knew that leaders need to be among their people, inspiring them with their ability, letting them see what the standard should be for their performance. When leaders produce, so do their people.
  3. Leadership production brings clarity and reality to the vision. Leaders constantly communicate their vision to the company.
  4. Leadership production solves a multitude of problems. George C Marshall said “Morale is the state of mind. It is steadfastness and courage and hope. It is confidence and zeal and loyalty… it is staying power with people, the spirit which endures until the end – with all things possible.
  5. Leadership production creates momentum.

    Momentum takers: The vast majority of people don’t start or stop anything, they just go along for the ride. Their productiveness is based almost entirely on what others do to make things happen in the organization. For that reason, they need effective leaders who produce and create a productive environment. It is defined as “faith in the leader.

    Momentum breakers: Challenges morale and prevents others from producing.

    Momentum makers: These are leaders, they produce. Make things happen.

  6. Leadership production is the foundation for team building. No one wants to leave a champion team.

 

Downside of Production

  1. Being productive can make you think you’re a leader when you are not. Keep your eye on the ball. Possess the desire to take your team to the highest level.
  2. Producing leaders feel a heavy weight of responsibility for results. Honesty makes a leader who reached level three tire of leading because of the weight of responsibility they feel. Most leaders experience days when they wish no one was watching their performance, looking to them for direction, or wanting them to make something happen. However, effective leaders understand that the cost of leadership is carrying the responsibility of their team’s success on their shoulders. That is a weight every leader feels starting on level 3. You will have to decide whether you are willing to carry it.
  3. Production leadership requires making difficult decisions. A billionaire oilman and environmental advocate T Boone Pickens says “be willing to make decisions. That’s the most important quality in an effective leader. You’ll say today I look back, I regret the decisions I failed to make more than I do the wrong decisions I did make.”

 

As a leader on level 2 you must make a difficult decision to

  • Be successful before you try to help others be successful
  • Hold yourself to a higher standard than you ask of others
  • Make yourself accountable to others
  • Accept responsibility for personal results
  • Admit failure and mistakes quickly and humbly
  • Ask from others only what you have previously asked of yourself
  • Gauge your success on results, not intentions
  • Remove yourself from situations where you are ineffective.

 

Why must I always go first? Going first may not always be easy or fun, but it is always a requirement of leaders. It paves the way for the people who follow and increases their chance of success for completing the journey.

4. Production leadership demands continual attention to level 2. Keep developing the relationship and caring for them as you produce results.

 

Best Behaviors On Level 3

How to make the Most production in leadership

  1. Understand how your personal giftedness contributes to the vision. If you are a leader, you must have a sense of vision for your leadership. And it must align, at least during the current season, with the vision of the organization you serve.

    4 areas to contribute the most to productivity of an organization or team.

    1. Influencing people (leadership)
    2. Connecting with people (relationships)
    3. Communicating with people (speaking)
    4. Creating resources to help people (writing)

    “Do what you do so well that those who see you do what you do are going to come back to see you do it again and let others that they should see you do what you do.” Walt Disney

    If you want your team or department to excel at what they do, then you need to excel at what you do. Productivity has to start with the leader. Focus there first, and you will earn opportunities to help others improve and reach their potential.

  2. Cast vision for what needs to be accomplished. Leaders help people define the success of their vision. Leaders help people commit to the success of the vision. Leaders help people experience success
  3. Begin to Develop your people into a team. Build complimentary teams. Team members should understand their mission. Team leaders should make it happen. Team members should receive feedback about their performance. Team leaders should make it happen. Team members should work in an environment which is inspiring and full of growth. – team leaders should make it happen. Leaders should create an environment for their people that inspires, challenges and stretches them.
  4. Prioritize the things that yield high returns. What is the key to productivity? Prioritizing. To be an effective level 3 leader, you must learn to not only get a lot done, but to get a lot of the right tasks done. “Most people lead busy but undisciplined lives. We have ever-expanding “to do” lists, trying to build momentum by doing, doing, doing – and doing more. And it rarely works. Those who build the good-to-great companies, however, make as much use of ‘stop doing’ lists as ‘to do’ lists. They displayed a remarkable discipline to unplug all sorts of extraneous junk” Good to Great, Jim Collins.

    Most leaders feel a great deal of pressure to get a lot done. Productive leaders understand that activity is not necessarily accomplished. They plan accordingly.

  5. Be willing and ready to be a change agent

    Vision: Must be similar, and they will all stand together.
    Values: Must have similar values
    Relationship: Great teams have commitment to the team and the vision.
    Attitude: If you are going to get people to work together for change, their attitudes must be about change.
    Communication: For change to occur, communication must be open, honest and ongoing.

  6. Never lose sight of the fact that results are your goal. Effective leaders know that results always matter, no matter the obstacles they face, what the economy does, what kind of problems their people are experiencing and so on.

    People buy into leaders, then their vision. That buy in comes from two things. The relationship you have with them and the results you demonstrate in front of them.

    The Laws of Leadership at the Production Level.
    The Law of Respect: People follow leaders stronger than themselves.
    The Law of Magnetism: You are who you attract
    The Law of Picture: People do what people see
    The Law of Victory: Leaders find a way for the team to win
    The Law of The Big Mo. Momentum is a leader’s best friend
    The law of Priorities: Leaders understand that activity is not necessarily accomplished
    The Law of Sacrifice. A leader must give up going up
    The Law of Buy In: People buy into the leader, then the vision

 

Beliefs That Help a Leader Move up To Level 4

  1. Production is not enough.
  2. People are an organization’s most appreciable asset.
  3. Growing leaders is the most effective way to accomplish the vision
  4. People development is the greatest fulfilment for a leader

 

It is impossible to help others without helping yourself.

Guide to Growing through Level 3

  1. Be a team member you want on your team
  2. Translate personal productivity
  3. Understand everyone’s productive niche
  4. Cast vision continually
  5. Build your team
  6. Use momentum to solve problems
  7. Discern how team members affect momentum
  8. Practice the Pareto principle
  9. Accept your role as change agent
  10. Don’t neglect level 2

LEVEL FOUR: PEOPLE DEVELOPMENT

Effective Leaders gauge and notice potential in people regardless of their position and bring out the best in people. These leaders transition from producers to developers. They invest time, money and thinking into growing others as leaders. They put 80% of their focus on their personal productivity and 20% focused on developing and leading others.

The Upside of People Development
Leadership becomes even stronger and the potential of the organisation increases dramatically when you develop people. This is because as your people reach their potential your organization will reach its potential. You must believe in their value, in their dreams and believe it is worth the investment that is required.

Now true leadership is not what happens when you are there, but when you are not there. You can’t do everything. You don’t want everything to come crashing down when you are not there. Transfer the leadership so others have ownership and where they want responsibility.

Everyone has the potential to lead, at least in some area and in some capacity. When you give someone responsibility and authority, they not only learn, but they start to fulfill their leadership responsibilities. That action transforms people and organisations.

All leaders feel the weight of responsibility for leading. When you have others leading, you share the load of leadership

If you think back to your own leadership journey, someone gave you an opportunity. No leader is self-made. Everyone was given a start by someone.

The Downside of Leadership
There are no guarantees that the time, energy and effort you invest in someone will work out. People development requires a very high level of maturity. It requires a high level of skill.

If you want to lead at level 4 you need to focus 80% of your time helping others to grow, learn and achieve. If you always focus on yourself you will feel their needs interfere with your goals. The focus is on you, not on growing your team. Think ‘what can I do for others.’ Zig Ziggler said it best “if you help others get what they want, you get what you want.”

As a leader you are forge ahead, you break ground and you make mistakes. You know this is true for you and you know it’s true for others too. You allow room for growth.

Your ultimate job is to work yourself out of your job. That doesn’t mean freedom for you, but stepping up to a higher role.

Best Behaviors on Level 4
Only leaders can develop other people to become leaders. You have to walk your talk.

Recruiting is the first and most important task in developing people. If you get the best players and coach them soundly, you’re going to win. There are Four C’s to look for in a potential leader.

  1. Chemistry. Do you like them? You’ll want to work and mentor those you like
  2. Character: DO you trust them? You’ll want to work with people who you trust.
  3. Capacity: Assess their capacity to handle stress, their skills, their leadership and attitude
  4. Contribution: Do they have an X factor? This means will they contribute beyond their job responsibilities and lift the performance of the team?

 

Successful leaders help people to find the right seats. Sometimes trying and failing. You take this in your stride.

How does a leader equip people to do their work and succeed at it? The best method is a 5-step equipping process is;
Step 1: do it (competence)
Step 2: I do it and you are with me (demonstrate)
Step 3: you do it and I am with you (coaching)
Step 4: you do it (empowerment)
Step 5: you do it and some is with you (reproduction)
This method will equip leaders and begin to train them to equip others.

Challenge people in every area of their highest values (gain their permission first). Read books, attend conferences, get mentoring. Help them to focus on being the best version of themselves.

Beliefs That Help a Leader Move Up To Level 5
Be willing to keep growing yourself. Everyone has something to teach you. Remaining coachable yourself.
Work through your own issues. Get mentoring if you need it, as you expand, so does your leadership, your influence and your impact. Remain approachable as a leader, a role model and coach.

LEVEL FIVE: PINNACLE

People follow because of who you are and what you represent. You stand out from everyone else. They lead so well for so long that they create a legacy of leadership in the organization they serve.

The Upside of The Pinnacle
Your influence has expanded beyond your reach and your time. You are developing a generation of leaders who will develop the next generation of leaders. You have an opportunity to impact beyond your lifetime. Not many people achieve this level of leadership.

The leadership journey has the potential to take individuals through a lifelong process in three phases; learn, earn, return. Learning as you grow up the leadership ladder. They then earn a decent income. Then return is where you give back to others.

The Downside of The Pinnacle
You think you have arrived. If you think you’re on the way up, you are surely going down. You have the danger of being at the top and think there is no more to grow and learn. You can never arrive. You can only drive higher. If leaders who reach the pinnacle want to make the most of their time there, they must remain focused on their vision and purpose and continue leading at the highest level.

At the Pinnacle, you can lose focus of how hard you worked and expect more from other with less time and skills as you.

Best Behavior of Level 5
Leadership is about others, not about the leader. Cultivate your followers. Your drive is about being succeeded instead of needed. Everyone is dispensable. You create pride in your success.

The empowerment leadership model shifts away from position leadership to people power where all people are given leadership roles so they can contribute to their fullest capacity. You have to bring your imagination, skill and commitment to the table. You have to give it your all to all potential level 5 leaders because you may be surprised by who finishes the strongest.

You have the ability to lead and a platform to persuade. Use the opportunity whenever possible to pass on what you have learned to help others. Leadership is influence. Leverage it to add value to others.

Leaving a successor is the greatest leadership development you can offer. Success is dependent upon the leader with the baton handing it off to the next leader when both are running at full speed. You’ll hurt the organisations momentum by slowing down. Plan your succession and leave before you have to.

The Laws Of Leadership at the Pinnacle Level
We all have strong intuition in the areas of our giftedness. What leaders in level 5 possess in abundance is leadership intuition. Effective leaders will trust what Emmerson called the ‘blessed impulse’ That a hunch that informs you that something is right. Intuition is the ability to experience immediate insight without rational through. Learn to trust it.

The goal in life is not to live forever. The goal in life is to create something that does.

Lastly, when you develop a follower, you gain a follower. When you develop a leader, you gain a leader and all his followers. Every time you develop a leader, you make a difference in the world. This has a ripple effect on those they develop and lead.

Guide to Being Your Best At Level 5
Remain humble, maintain your core focus, create an inner circle to keep you grounded, plan your succession and your legacy. Lastly, focus on player development

  1. Explanation. tell them what you want them to know and do
  2. Demonstration. Show them what you want them to know and do
  3. Initiation. Let them show you that they know what to do
  4. Correction. Ask them to change what they are doing incorrectly.
  5. Repetition. Ask them to do it right over and over and over again.

 

If you prepare properly, you may never be out scored, but you will never lose. You always win when you make the full effort to do the best of which you’re capable.

As a leader, you have to know yourself. All great leaders have a greater sense of self, clarity of purpose and crystal-clear vision. You have to have the willingness to speak about what’s really important to you, even if the outside world disagrees. It involves taking the risk of being different for the sake of being real: an original instead of a copy.

Use these levels of leadership as stepping stones for you in your leadership development and evolution. There is no end to where you can go.

What level of leadership are you playing at? And what can you do to step up?

with gratitude,

Signature

Overwhelmed

We broke a personal record here at Maximum Growth last week.

Most number of NEW students on a Masterclass EVERRRR. Can I get a Woop Woop! (Apparently everyone’s way more into shmexy talk than we realised. Lol. We’re so weird. I love that about us.)

Anyway, tonnes of work, but the crowd loved it. (Which is a crucial yardstick of impact in my books.)

So that’s the wins. Now, the overwhelm:

I posted about it in our FB group, and, well… look at the comments! I present to you, evidentiary exhibit A: Proof that something was Universally SIGNIFICANT last week:

Full context: in this McMassive meal of a week, our project to rebrand is the double-quarter pounder. The thick, juicy, gotta-be-cooked-right part. Cause if you’ve been paying attention AT ALL, you know our web presence needs just the teensiest truckload of love.

Which is super inspiring but also the tiniest bit scary (pre-requisite of all things worth doing, just quietly).

Few reasons:

1. I couldn’t help thinking, “I don’t know enough to make a decision” (I love learning, but we’re on a tight schedule here.)

2. It’s a BIG decision with long legs. This will be MG’s 24/7 red carpet look for years. Not the sort of thing you want to say, “that’ll do” and hope for the best.

3. Because it’s totally outside my expertise. Business mindset? Hell yes. Branding? Not so much.

And it’s not cheap. Do you know how much rebranding costs?

I have 7 quotes in my inbox ranging from $1.5k to over $35k. (Logo, colours, fonts, website design, development and a thing that I now know is called a brand book. Translation: like a digital style guide even a chimp could use to keep your biz lookin’ red-carpet ready.)

Which feels like a LOT of pressure. So I did what any human with feelings does: I had a mini freak out about how to make the right decision, crawled in a ball and cried.

And then I dissolved it (cause that’s what they pay me the big bucks for).

Which is when it clicked:

Ask an expert. Duh. I’m always connecting clients to specialists who love what they do. (Because there’s enough advice out there from people who are just in it for the money.) So, I made a few calls to friends. They asked me questions that pinpointed priorities, clarified my concerns, and hit the release valve on the pressure.

(So, exactly what I do with our members and clients for business mindset, they did for me with branding.)

Then, I settled on a little of an option I hadn’t even seen before: book the strengths from each.

Market research from one, brand design from another, site construction from another etc.

Crisis over. AND the perfect solution. Ahhh, the relief!

I don’t know why I hadn’t seen it before. I say this all the time when clients contact me about our membership. If you’re looking to grow yourself to grow your business – I’m your gal.

If you’re looking for yet another business tactic or strategy or hack… Google that shizz.

I guess I just needed a nudge (and that release valve) to make the connection.

And to prove the power of this spooky mindset stuff:

On Friday I had a meeting with the whole MG team to plan out our growth. For 3 hours we mapped out pure content GOLD.

Stick around, {first_name}, you’re in for a super inspiring ride here 🙂

Speaking of useful things: the moral of this story?

A lot of these lessons might sound familiar: Reach out to an expert when you’re feeling unsure. Find people who love what they do, and hang out with them. Be open to solutions you know exist but perhaps not in the context you’re used to.

But just knowing them is rarely enough. You gotta practice the basics.

Because you can’t build a burger without the bun. And you can’t master your life without the work.

Oh bonus lesson: remember to look for the wins, even when the pressure’s on. Cause they’re always there.

Just like I will be for you.

 

Signature

Leadership Coach
Counsellor & Master Certified Demartini Method Facilitator

For You, My Overthinker

So the final Q&A session in the 2021 Ultimate New Year Workshop series took an unexpected turn.

Almost everyone had some version of “This year’s been so full on already. I feel totally overwhelmed/numb/in my head about things. What do I do?”

Grateful you asked. Because I’ve spent YEARS getting overthinkers out of their head and into their heart. (Some of the biggest breakthroughs I have are with those kinds of clients.)

And in case you were wondering, yes – it’s easy to get ‘stuck’ spinning your wheels in indifference. Especially when it comes to doing the Demartini Method by yourself. So don’t fret – you’re in the perfect company 🙂

Mostly it happens for 3 reasons:

It’s the nature of the work. You’re literally thinking through your problems.
You subconsciously want to stay in control.
There’s a different root problem behind the problem.

Let’s go through how to solve each of them in order:

FIRST, YOU WANT TO GIVE YOUR MIND A QUICK SERVICE CHECK

No matter what you’re working through or how you’re dissolving it, you’ll pass through 3 stages:

Charge (and there are squillions of levels here), then indifference, then love.

The first and last are easily recognisable. But there’s a fine line that catches people between indifference and love. (A favourite place for over-intellectualisers to stall and stay put.)

When you reach indifference it can sometimes feel like the wind’s been taken out of your sails. You intellectually know that there are equal benefits and drawbacks to a person or dynamic, but you don’t FEEL it.

You’ve found benefits in the moment and are grateful but still secretly think, “I wish [insert dynamic] was different.” (For comparison, see how it feels different to: “Thank you. I love you. I’m grateful I got to experience this.” See that? One SEEMS balanced, but the other FEELS balanced.)

So I’m going to tell you something a little controversial: allow yourself to feel.

Whether it’s numb, or frustrated, or any other emotion. Let it be your signpost to what is still lingering in your perceptions. I call this “following the feeling”.

That means you can feel your way to knowing what to resolve and dissolve.

Because you can’t heal what you don’t feel.

If you want a check-in, you can ask yourself this quality question as a test: “What’s still in the way of me loving this individual?” (Or dynamic.)

Remember, you’re human and as long as you remain human, you’re going to feel things.

And feel things often.

The key is not to push them down or not feel, but to treat them as your teachers: there’s a lesson (and a gift) in every charge.

I learned a long time ago, every great breakthrough requires thinking AND feeling. So lean into it.

Stay tuned for next week – part 2 is a sneaky – but vital – one.

In the meantime, sending you a big warm fuzzy hug (oh feel that yummy-ness).

Signature

PS – If you’d love guidance in dissolving your stuff, weekly help with me is right here.

*Technically* I Can Predict The Future (True Story)

I did a palm reading course once.

Mmhmm. Truly. Got the certificate to prove it and everything.

I could throw a silky blanket over this table, slip on a few too many rings and pin a scarf on my head with a giant, sparkly jewel.

You could come to me wondering what great fame, fortune… or lurrrrve awaits you in your future.

I’d get all serious. Let a little frown crease my forehead. Maybe mutter a concerned “mmm” as I examine your heart line like it’s the Encyclopaedia {first_name}.

OOOOH. And I’d throw my hands up? And wail a little like I’m entranced, crying, “I SEE! THE SPIRITS! THEY WANT ME TO TELL YOU…”

…and then ‘come back to my senses’, leaving you on an epic cliffhanger.

(Side note: do you reckon I could get away with adding ‘clairvoyant’ alongside ‘counsellor and coach’ in my email signature? I’m not convinced. After just one course it seems a stretch.)

Anyway, fun times.

That said, I could still ‘predict’ stuff and drop gems of actual wisdom, like…

  • The secret of the female Oh-gasm
  • Messages from past lovers (and loved ones)
  • True, soul-inspired romance
  • Family fortunes and generational wealth
  • Weathering all manner of emotional storms as a power couple
  • And sooooo much more

After all, my years as a sex therapist and counsellor are worth their weight in (ostentatious) designer jewellery. Because wisdom learned through experience is still life-changing no matter how it’s packaged.

Of course, these days I do it all on Zoom calls. Minus the theatrics. And with people who want the real top-shelf wisdom, unadulterated.

Speaking of which, I’m running my famous intimacy masterclass on Wednesday Feb 3rd.

How’d you like to come to a soul reading (of sorts) with me? Predicting your own love-fortune. (Totally non-woo, but still VERY soulful. Because s.e.x. can be a soulful experience.)

For the record, yes – all those things I mentioned above, we’ll cover (except the generational wealth. Saving that one for the wealth masterclass coming up in a few months time. But extra portions of love insights and tips.)

Last time I ran this it was the hit of all our 2020 masterclasses. Most popular by far and got rave reviews.

So as a special for the 2021 class I’ve swollen the material, teased out the many, many climactic points… and thrown in a few more throbbing puns.

As you can tell – the class WILL get you there.

Run and grab your ticket for just $8 >

Getting in quick is – in this case – the right move.

(if you’re a current Maximum Growth member, no need to book – your seat’s reserved already.)

Oh and bring your partner for free if you live in the same household btw. You’ll BOTH appreciate the exercises… if you know what I mean. *wink*.

Have a sultry day, Leadership Coach

Counsellor & Master Certified Demartini Method Facilitator

Leadership Coach

Counsellor & Master Certified Demartini Method Facilitator,

Signature

Elon Musk

Elon Musk

Do you think I’m insane? This is the question he asked Ashlee Vance, the author of his autobiography. This was a more a question for himself than for anyone else.

Musk pushes boundaries that turn big ideas into big products that serve humanity. He has a willingness to tackle impossible things that most people say is not possible and won’t tolerate people who say no to him.

Making his initial money in the dot.com boom with Zip2, a google maps meets yelp platform which was sold for $307 million, Musk personally making $22 million. His next venture saw him invest not part but all $22 million into Paypal. He was so broke that he slept on his mates couch during the startup phase.

In 2002, Ebay bought out Paypal for some chump change of $1.5 billion. Yes, billion!

Do you think selling your company would settle Musk so he could live the high life?

No, he is a man on a mission. He found himself couchsurfing yet again and reinvested his $170 million share from Paypal into SpaceX and Tesla. He dedicates his life to his mission and doesn’t want to waste a moment. He is willing to take an insane personal risk in what he wanted to achieve. His life demonstrates not chasing the riches but serving humanity to bring it into the future.

Musk wanted to know of a way to not eat, and get all his nutrition in a way that would save him time so he could work more. That is what happens when you are so driven and on mission, your lower body needs less sleep, food and sex because its living by its highest value and inspired.

This man has the ability to see a vision with such clarity in his mind’s eye and bring it into reality. This made him sure of himself and then he was prepared to not always be the nice guy because he wanted his vision fulfilled. Most people are so hazy in what they want to achieve they don’t get started or play the nice guy or girl that they sacrifice their vision to please.

He truly lives “When the voice and the vision on the inside are greater and more profound than those on the outside, you have mastered your life”

When Musk was young he would block out the world and concentrates on a single task. Beautiful skill to master in today’s day and age because there are so many shiny objects to distract us. Maybe this single focus came from his tough upbringing. Maybe he was escaping and shutting out the world and at the same time training resilience to deal with big challenges in his future.

You think such a brilliant man, he must have been bright at school. Nope, “there was no sign this boy was going to be a billionaire” said a classmate of his. Musk never has a leadership role and wasn’t considered bright as a child.

Like any entrepreneurs journey he had his fair share of ideas in business. He started a business with his brother Kimbal but the business never took off because they realized they didn’t love it. Loving what you did is a key factor because you don’t feel like you’re working, you don’t need holidays and time off, it’s your life’s work because you love it.

He has a challenging personal life with marriages and divorces. He openly said that “being with me is choosing the hard path” It’s a crazy ride that he has been on and has its share of pain of being with a billionaire who is changing the world and pleasure of being with a billionaire who is changing the world.

Musk isn’t averse to failure. The harder something gets, the better he gets. He has the ability to push through rejection, no’s failures, pain. He has been a few times down to the wire to generate money to save his companies.

Tesla had to overcome some big challenges; batteries weren’t efficient enough, the car models didn’t perform and massive financial hardship to name a few. He continues to rise to the occasion.

Musk has created a community of people who want to join the Tesla club, like Job’s did with Apple. Tesla’s sales model was $100,000 bought you into the club and you received a free car. Genius!

SpaceX was looking like a failed venture. Yet 6 years after the company started, four and a half years longer than Musk expected, 500 people’s energy and effort, SpaceX had its first successful launch with Falcon 1. It also received payment from NASA and the company received $1.6 billion as payment for 12 flights to the space station.

Musk is a visionary of multiplanetary living stemming from his love of technology and science fiction. His goal is sending humans to Mars. It is possible now but it is probably in the future and Musk wants to be the man that makes it happen. Not everyone will identify with Musk’s mission but the fact that there is someone out there pushing exploration and our technical abilities to their limits is important. He becomes impatient with mistakes that hold him back and feels like his is the only one understanding the urgency of his mission. He is solving problems that have been consuming us for decades.

This is the first book I have read where I have had goosebumps after goosebumps after goosebumps. Hands down one of the most inspiring autobiographies I have ever read. It’s a must read.

What inspiring vision do you have for your own life?

Hugs and heart,

Signature

Weird Tingling (Feels Like Pregnancy?)

Full disclaimer: it’s not me. I’m not pregnant (one was enough for me) but…

Do you ever get that weird tingling under your skin? That niggle at your spidey senses, telling you something’s changed within you.

Like the planets are aligning and great things are coming.

I dunno what it is but the last couple of weeks the world’s felt pregnant with expectation and potential to me.

Could be just the new year, but I don’t think so.

While part of me believes in frequencies and vibrations, I’m a pragmatist at heart. I prepare for these things whether or not they manifest.

Because when opportunity knocks, would you rather sail into it, or scramble to catch up?

If you’re feeling that ‘pregnant potential’ too, here are 5 quality questions I ask myself every year to stay prepared. You can use them to connect with your own inner wisdom. And get ready to catch that opportunity as it’s birthed.

  1. Why is it important to you (and others) that you achieve the goals you set for yourself this year?
  2. What are you not paying attention to right now that, if you did, would help you progress further or faster?
  3. What do you need to dissolve, resolve or learn to get where you want to go? (or be, do or have what you’d love.)
  4. Who can you reach out to in your sphere of awareness or influence that will challenge and support you to grow?
  5. What are the pitfalls you haven’t considered? How can you solve them if they happen? Or better yet – what can you build in now to prevent them from happening at all?

Especially when things seem so rosy (and full of promise), it’s wise to consider all the angles.

Yes, inspiration is important. Action is too. But planning and systems are what keep you connected to them both. (And on track, long term. Cause overnight success takes years. But you already knew that.)

Can’t wait to see what you do with this perspective

 

Signature

Leadership Coach
Counsellor & Master Certified Demartini Method Facilitator
Maximum Growth: Private & Group Coaching Available

PS – We’re back! First MG Member sessions of the year start up next week. In the Starter program we’re filling in all the gaps around those 5 questions (plus tonnes of others)… and setting you up with detailed, inspiring plans for the entire year. In the Business Membership, we’re honing in on scaling your service, aligning you for attraction and expanding your vision. Want in? Get in Business here (starts Tuesday). Or for Starter click here (starts Wednesday).

PPS – Thought for the week: A prepared mind is a poised mind. And poised minds leave legacies.

The Brilliant Function Of Pain

The Brilliant Function Of Pain Book

The Brilliant Function Of Pain

This book is perfect for anyone who is experiencing pain and would love to understand the concept of pain.

As human beings with a physical body, we all suffer from pain. We can be physically, emotionally, mentally or spiritually drained from the pain. If you fight it, you might find yourself endlessly seeking healers and doctors to rid you of your suffering.

Very few people make use of the pain and transcend it. Pain has a logic and distinct function, hence, there is a brilliant function of pain. It serves a purpose. When we experience pain, we immediately label it as ‘sickness’,when it is actually a brilliant signal telling us to do something to right ourselves. It is telling us what to do, minute by minute to prevent more serious problems.

Ward shares he has nothing to recommend to you, absolutely nothing, except what you yourself are prepared to learn from the enormous wisdom of your incredible inner self. This is wisdom, because as the student is ready, the teacher appears. For those who are not ready, it falls on deaf ears.

WHAT IS PAIN?

Our instinctive being constantly emanates from and seeks a state of mental, emotional, physical and spiritual equilibrium. All pain demands us (our minds) to help restore this equilibrium.

Pain is reminding you that there is an infinitely brilliant force. Our own force, is functioning on our behalf. It is a wonderful reminder of a vast spectrum of consciousness that lies beyond the limited perception of our thoughts. This wisdom shows there are inner capacities that infinitely exceed all learned knowledge.

Trust the pain. Pain is a sign. Simply listen to yourself and what it is revealing to you. The cure for the problem is indicated by the pain. Failure to read the early pains can create larger more problematic pains in the future.

DIET AND PAIN

What do we have to gain from exercise or outdoor living if we do not have enough awareness to open our pants belt that is constructing our breathing, blocking out food digestion and forcing our heart to pump blood through our impeded arteries? What good is organic food if you are not aware that the pain in your stomach is rejecting any food.

We suffer the tortures of the damned after a heavy meal. For hours, if not days, our body screams at us never to do this again. Yet we go on doing it. Are we unaware of our body’s rejections of the food? Not at all! If we examine our feelings as we gulp excess food, we do sense clear indication of nausea and repulsion. The message is there before we eat, as we eat and after we eat. But still we gorge ourselves.

Millions of us find it impossible to keep our weight down. Almost all of us can’t stop eating harmful foods. I would guess that three quarters of our population are uncontrolled goods or liquor freaks.

Ultimately our eating can only be dedicated by ourselves. Others may offer suggestions but only you and I can determine our food intake. Fad diets and outside advice are useless if they cause us to relinquish our self guidance. How often do we eat badly because we are not in touch with our needs; or even as an act of spite because we were denied the instinctual response to food in childhood and finally relinquished this right entirely?

It’s almost impossible to avoid all the food temptation around us. It takes Herculean effort to resist the advertising pressure by food manufactures, and the host or hostesses who would consider our refusal of food a lack of social courtesy. So we eat blindly.

Our bodies may demand that we quit eating or change our diet. Or even listen to the inner wisdom it’s telling us. But do we?

HEALING THE PAIN

We spend months theorizing over the problem, without ever taking a moment to look to the pain itself for guidance. Our amazing intuitive energy is constantly there, vibrating every second, a perfect servant urging is on showing us the way to avoid serious illness. To be attuned. The inner self demands a return to trust in our inner self. We attune to a problem before we become ill.

Fear of pain, fighting pain, anger at pain, ignoring or masking pain will distort your response to pain. You cannot be impatient with pain. You must allow whatever time is required to permit it to perform its function.

PAIN AWARENESS

1. Pain is a guide, not an enemy.
2. Pain tells you, you do not tell the pain.

The method by which we respond to pain is simply to feel it deeply and to respond to those feelings. We gradually induce the wisdom of the pain to automatically handle itself. Question yourself, what does your intuition say about your pain?

One suggestion when the pain message does not make itself readily apparent, it is helpful to intensify the pain mentally, in order to feel it more deeply.
Your inner heart. Your inner voice. Your inner mind. Your inner wisdom. They have the answer about your pain that you seek.

with gratitude,

Signature

How To Eat An Elephant

You know those people who do the unthinkable? They bite off more than they can chew and then they chew like Pac-man to make it happen? And it happens?!

I have two questions for you:

  1. How do they actually do it? (Cause it’s usually not just a combination of hustle, skill and/or talent) and
  2. Is that also YOUR best path to kicking goals this year?

We’re still surfing the New year enthusiasm wave right now.

But I’ll bet quietly (in the privacy of their vanity mirror) most people are packing their daks at the audacity of some of their goals.

My guidelines for goals are simple:

They should be one part scary and one (or more) parts inspiring.

That’s not a guarantee of a perfect goal, but it IS a reliable indicator of completion.

That’s what I call, “an elephant”.

Because it’s big and beautiful and majestic and usually a little terrifying in the wild. (Your big ol’ brain is the safari in this scenario.)

If you’ve ever tried leaping outside your comfort zone you probably know those feelings.

But what if the terrifying is more than just one part?

What do you do if you’ve set yourself the Big Daddy Elephant of the Herd version of your goal?

You need a strategy.

And for “eating” elephants… you nibble.

You start with something that feels (and IS) doable… and you build on top of it.

Eventually it snowballs into recognisable progress.

In last Sunday’s Soul School email we talked about delayed gratification. Reaching your dreams one step at a time.

This week’s lesson is about the SIZE of your steps.

SO…

If you feel like you’re biting off more than you can chew this year – or ever – whether launching a complex project, approaching a big name in your industry, finally tackling deep rooted baggage you’ve swept under the rug for decades, etc… then what’s the ONE next step you can take?

What’s your nibble for now?

That small bite you can tear off and chew like mad (and even if you stumble through it, the stakes are low enough you can stumble comfortably).

Because it’s true what they say:

You really can do ANYTHING. Even your very own Maximum Growth Goal.

The only pre-requisite is that you keep biting and chewing.

Sure, sometimes it might feel overwhelming.

But consistency is key. It builds more and more momentum over time.

So tell me – what are you working on?

Sidenote: writing it down and telling someone makes it real. And real is like focusing your binoculars on that elephant – you increase the probability you’ll do it.

I’m all about getting you to that next level.

With love,

 

Signature

Leadership Coach
Counsellor & Master Certified Demartini Method Facilitator
Maximum Growth: Private & Group Coaching Available

PS – no elephants were harmed in the making of this blog :)Tanya x

Mini Test For You (What’s Your Number?)

If I offered you $100 right now… or $1000 next week, which would you choose?

What if I said you only get the $100 after you’ve attended a full 8 hour class today? Or that you must show up for 30 minutes every day for the next week to get the $1000?

Would you change your answer?

There’s no right or wrong. Only 3 options:

  1. Do nothing (not great for you or your bank account.)
  2. Put in a lot of effort now but get an immediate – if smaller – reward.
  3. Make bite-sized efforts, consistently, and reap the bigger rewards later.

A useful exercise to monitor your emotional state.

If you’re stressed, you’ll go for the quick fix, thinking “overnight success” is in your grasp.

Or pick the delayed (more meaningful) gratification if you’re truly aligned to it. (And willing to eat the challenge required to get there.)

Cognitive dissonance tricks us – we think $1000 today is possible… even probable.

But “overnight success” – as you know – rarely happens overnight.

Right now, if your inbox looks anything like mine, you’ve got emails coming out your ears. Most screaming something or other about everything you can do in 2021.

The pressure is on.

Or not, if you listen to that long term inner voice.

And that’s the door I want to open in your mind today. (And prop open with one of those ‘door snakes’ your grandma used to use.)

A reminder to you that this year isn’t a sprint. You’ve got a whole 12 months spread on the table before you.

Do you buy into the hype and scramble to get things done? Or accelerate your momentum one bite at a time. Chip away at “overnight success” quietly, while most are off chasing shiny objects

Massive action or overexcitement will likely burn you out. So breathe. Edmund Hillary didn’t run up Everest, he walked. One thoughtful step at a time.

Oh, and remember: most people overestimate what they can do in a year and underestimate what they can do in 10.

Welcome to 2021!

Let’s climb some mountains.

 

Signature

Leadership Coach
Counsellor & Master Certified Demartini Method Facilitator
Maximum Growth: Private & Group Coaching Available

The Conscious Mind

The Conscious Mind

This book is perfect for anyone who would love to unravel the greatest mystery of the human brain.

Consciousness has baffled people since the fifth century and will continue to have scientists seeking answers for a few more centuries to come. We are at the tip of the iceberg of what we know with consciousness.

In these pages, there are no clear answers, only to leave you with more questions about the conscious mind.

Renée Descates in the 17th century stated, “the conscious mind and the body are cut from very different cloth kinds”. He distinguishes between material self (the body) and the immaterial self (the mind). The body and the brain are made of matter and the mind is immaterial, something that can never be touched, observed or measured.

David Charmers, a philosopher in 1995 updated Descartes point of view and dubbed the mind as a hard problem, he states that you can see a color red but you don’t know what it feels like according to someone else’s experience. You see your dog but and you know how your dog’s brain works but you don’t know what it is like to be a dog.

This experience is called “qualia”. This is how consciousness is defined; it is your own private personal and highly subjective experience and there is no way to explain the sense of what it is like for you to anyone else, everything in the world is unique to you.

Not everyone agrees with Descartes. Some insist that there is no hard problem and disregard his ideas as one of the greatest mistakes in the history of thinking. Ultimately believing that we will be able to measure qualia and understand enough of the way the brain works to understand consciousness.

In understanding consciousness, people want to understand free will. Do we have free will? Are we really in the driver seat? Do we really make our own choices?

Free will tends to be strengthen by our morality. There is some evidence that the fear of punishment is what keeps society from breaking down. Our powerful belief in free will is bound with a fundamental desire to hold people responsible for their harmful actions.

It may turn out we don’t have the ability to choose but we will still choose to act as if we do. This is due to the readiness potential. If science could show that we are not in the driver’s seat of our own mind and life, free will would be hard to shake. This is because free will gives us a greater sense of satisfaction and self-efficiency, higher commitment in relationships and greater meaning in life. It serves as a greater purpose to humanity.

What is the consciousness?

There is matter and consciousness in the universe where one exists alongside the other, perhaps conveniently, cannot be explained in a present understanding of physics. Space if taken to the extreme, this idea can lead to paints like he’s in the view that all matter even in animate objects like rocks are imbued with some degree of consciousness.

Everything has a level of consciousness.

The brain contains at last count 19 billion neurons with so many connections between them, if you count one every second day would take you 3 million years to the task. Incredible, right?

The structure, the connectivity, the patterns, the flow, everything that makes you you.

There are curiosity surrounding the brain’s connectivity and if it does add up to consciousness is a huge question that is left unanswered. For now.

Philosopher John Locke defines consciousness as the perception of what passes in the man’s mind setting the tone for later research. In 1915 Sigmund Freud declares the subconscious to be a source of human behavior. Today, psychology refers to the subconscious as non-conscious, and preconscious or unconscious to describe what happens outside of full conscious awareness.

The first magnetic resonance imaging (MRI) scan of a human was in 1977. This method later revolutionizes the study of the living brains and helped to further our understanding of consciousness from a scientific perspective.

There are different levels of consciousness and we can differentiate between levels of consciousness. For example, being vividly awake as opposed to being under a general anesthetic. The experience will be relative to the conscious sense of self.

In 2007 a man who had a minimally conscious state for six years recovered deep brain stimulation of his thalamus. He received treatment for almost three weeks. Within three days he was answering questions by nodding and shaking his head. A week later he tried to walk.

It’s only been tested with one person so it’s not clear if the thalamus underlines fundamental conscious awareness or helps the patient to produce behaviors that give signs that they are aware of the world around them. But there is a glimmer of possibility.

Let’s explore consciousness and our decision-making process. When it comes to decision making, the unconscious mind is the best too we have. Sleep on a decision and your brain works overtime to analyze it and comes up with an answer. Same with solving a problem or working on a new body movement. The magic happens at night while you sleep.

If you have a creative problem, it’s best to think about it, take a break and then come back to it with the hope that your unconscious mind has been working in the background for the answer.

The brain takes in so much information, more than we are consciously aware of. It is continually testing the incoming data against the stored information. It is predicting what might happen, the likelihood of the situation. Not only do we then make hypotheses of external situations, the body makes predictions based on emotional signals coming from the body.

One researcher goes as far as to say that the conscious mind is only aware of something when the unconscious mind has processed it, sorted it and deemed it relevant to be aware of. This is ultimately how your value system works, filtering the world through what is most important to you.

Yes, you do think while you sleep. I’m sure you have said to yourself that you need to wake up at 5am and bam! It’s 4:59am and you wake. A study in 1999 of 15 volunteers went to sleep at midnight and told they would be woken at 9am and did or told them they would be woken at 9am and woke them at 6am or said they would wake them at 6am and did. The last group had an increase in adrenocorticotropic from 4:30am, peaking around 6am. People woken unexpectedly at 6am had no such spike. The unconscious mind, the researchers concluded, can not only keep track of them while we sleep but also set a biological alarm to jump start the walking process. Consider setting your biologically alarm before you sleep tonight.

What about the Sci-Fi vision (we can’t call it fantasy because some of it is coming to fruition) of machine and man merging. Is it possible to build feeling and consciousness into machine?

As human beings, we don’t just act and react, we really feel; experiencing rich and vivid sensations that are more than reactions. Science has been unable to come up with a convincing explanation of why sensations feel the way they do. Some people even insist that understanding the nature of sensation is outside the realm of science. Given this, it’s tempting to think that building anything like sensations into a robot should be impossible.

One researcher states that one reason why robots cannot have broader consciousness is that they just can’t crunch enough data. Our brain is processing an extraordinary amount of information. Even three cameras can capture more data about a scene then the human eye, robotics are at a loss to how to stitch all the information together to build a cohesive picture of the world.

The experience of feel is not a mysterious byproduct of the brain but the way we interact with the world around us. For example, imagine pressing on a sponge. Where is the feel of softness generated? The traditional approach would look for the sensations in the brain, but press down on the nearest soft objects right now and it quickly becomes apparent that the softness isn’t in the brain at all; it resides in the particular characteristics of the action involved in pressing a soft object. Sensorimotor theory proposes that all ‘feels’ might be like this. The color red, the smell of an onion, the sound of the bell are all different ways of interacting with the world. If this is so, and feel is certainly something that could be experienced by a robot – it is certainly easier to achieve than sensations that mysteriously emerge from the complex activities of the brain.

Can a robot be conscious?

We have metacognition, the ability to reflect on our own knowledge. This is what makes us unique as humans.

Anything is possible.

The study of consciousness offers a chance to get to the care for what it means to be human. Questions to selfhood and freewill help us to understand ourselves as a species, why we think, feel and act the way we do.

Maybe one day in the distant future we will understand what makes the experience of red, and is my experience of seeing the colour red the same as yours.

With gratitude,

Signature

The Leadership Pill

The Leadership Pill

This book is a fun parable on effective leadership.

Corporate leadership was influenced by the military with an attitude of ‘it’s my way or the highway’. This might have been beneficial in the past, post world wars, but it doesn’t cut it anymore.

Leaders show integrity, build culture of partnership, and affirm people by letting them know what they do is important. When you tune into what people really want, you outperform.

The Discovery
Truly great leaders are few and far between. More often than not, leadership is lacking at all levels, government, corporate, and non-profit organizations. The landscape of business is changing but there are no signs of leadership changing.

The Leadership Pill is the latest trend, a quick and fast single pill that will enhance your leadership ability with a money back guarantee. Its results include getting tasks done quicker, meeting tight deadlines and outperforming competitors. Its tagline is ‘The Leadership Pill – When You’ve Got the Need to Lead.”

The Challenge
Every idea has a person or group of people opposing the idea. This fable is no different. An Effective Leader, who has been in leadership for years says; “I have observed people who use the leadership pill and find they are only concerned with results. Truly effective leaders will trust and respect their team members. They excel at empowering others and letting them know what they do is important.”

People don’t want to be controlled, they want to be led.

So the Challenge was decided. Two under performing teams were selected to compete for 12 months, one team leader taking The Leadership Pill, The Effective Leader being pill free.

The Preparation
They were judged on the Triple Bottom Line of the business.

  1. Provider of Choice
    1. Surveying customers on how well the team meet expectations
    2. When you turn a customer into a raving fan, they become part of your sales force
  2. Employee of Choice
    1. Survey internal morale and work performance
    2. There is a powerful link between a gung ho motivated team and an inspired team with solid productivity
  3. Investor of Choice
    1. Reviewing the financials
    2. Profits need to be looked at with performance

The Secret Blend
Leadership isn’t something you do to people. It is something you do with them. Some leaders are only concerned with getting results. This isn’t the only aspect, because you are forgetting the people.

Every team has the capability of being a high performing team. Let’s not forget the basic principle that with every high performer there is a low performer team mate, every team member you are infatuated with, there is a team member you resent.

  1. They walk their talk. They lead people instead of trying to control them.
  2. They lead one of the team working in partnership with the team members. This partnership will create the team potential.
  3. They affirm their team’s work as important so they feel valuable.

 

The Effective Leader finds out what each person’s uniqueness is on the team.

They use the strengths of the team to work together.

Quarter One
The challenge begun, the first quarter was off a slow start for the Pill Free Team. The effective leaders win the trust and respect of their team members through integrity. Leadership had to be inspired from within each team member.

One of the first steps the Effective Leader had to do was walk his talk. Trust happens when what you say and what you do match. He was doing his part to enrich the evolving culture of integrity. He didn’t beat people down for their deficiencies but worked out ways to improve them. This means people are more able to make mistakes and share those mistakes without fear.

One of the first changes the Effective Leader gave access to his calendar, so the team would see that he is not taking 3 hour long lunches and that he has dedicated time each week for team members to speak to him if they so choose.

At the end of the first quarter the results showed a big increase in Triple Bottom Line of the business but not for the Effective Leader. He stated “It would be unrealistic to expect we can go from dysfunctional team to high performing team in 90 days.”

He has a strong vision and plan on how to get the team to where he sees possible.

Quarter Two
The Effective Leader wasn’t affected by the other team, he focused on his own objective. He was bust working. He worked an overnight shift to demonstrate leadership is a team effort and for the team to see what they do is valuable. The key to Effective Leadership is the relationship you build with your team.

Next, he had a team meeting to bring everyone up to speed on the bigger vision of the company. He gave a preview of the budget and revenue forecast and showed last quarter’s results. They were on the same page, working together for a common goal and there was transparency for the first time.

He decided to implement lunch and learns each week. This was an investment into the team so they would grow themselves, which would eventually grow the team. An Effective Leader fosters a partnership of cross training and job rotations for new career paths and collective skill sets of the team expanded.

Team members want to grow, and would love the opportunity to grow. Some leaders are so concerned about pushing their own agendas and protecting their own turf that they forget that they are on the same team. Effective Leaders teach what they are good at so others can do it too. Partnership harvests the potential of the team. The leader focuses on growth and success of their team because the easiest way up a hill is to do it together.

Second quarter results still didn’t come close to matching the Leadership Pills Team but they were making some strong headway.

Quarter Three
The Leadership Pill, being driven by action and outcome was becoming low on team morale. In contrast, team morale was on the up and some real gains on the Triple Bottom Line indicators.

This is where appreciation was brought in to boost team morale even more. The Effective Leader thanked the team for showing up, he affirmed by letting people know what they do is important. Not praising people every time they do something right, means they look within.

Effective Leader implemented Health Hygiene Break, knowing that people had a life outside of work. They received massage vouchers, free gym memberships, time out from work because you will go further if you stop and refuel.

Clear results are now showing in the Non Pill team. Results are decreasing for the first time in the Leadership Pill team.

Quarter Four
Throughout the year, the Effective Leader shares with the team they have grasped the ideas of integrity, partnership and affirmation. He challenges them to now decide how these will come to life for themselves. People will think of themselves when you quit doing it for them. No longer is he saying how it will be, but empowering the team to own how they want it to be. This way, your leadership is evident when you are not around.

Leadership is about getting everyone to the same place they are supposed to go. They all were living the Secret Blend. It was a part of who they had become. Not only was the leader walking their talk, the team was too. Leadership is for a lifetime, not found in a quick easy pill, like a lot of things in life.

End Result
After 12 months, the Pill Free Challenge came to an end and congratulated the Effective Leader for their efforts. The Effective Leader congratulated his team who he said deserved the credit for making it happen. He has the vision, they fulfilled it.

What one insight will you implement into your leadership style this week?

With gratitude,

Signature

The Plastic Mind

The Plastic Mind

This book is perfect for anyone who wants to understand the brain.

We are not stuck with the brain we are born with. We have the potential to increase our intelligence, knowledge or learn new skills, even after traumatic events. No one has any idea on how much plasticity the brain has, some school of thought believe we are only utilizing 10% of our brains capacity. Take a moment to think of a savant who has a remarkable ability to understand and recall information that we have yet to learn to tap into.

It is only in the last 20 years that neuroscientist discovered that the adult brain is not fixed, but indeed, to the contrary, retains the power of neuroplasticity. The brain is constantly undergoing rewiring and changes. For example, violinists are forging new connections each time they play and can play months, even years later. The adult brain retains much of its plasticity of the developing brain, including the power to repair damaged regions, to grow new neurons, to rezone regions that performs one task and have them assume a new task, to change the circulatory that weaves neurons into the networks that allows us to remember, feel, suffer, think, imagine, and dream.

The wiring in our brains is not static, nor fixed. It’s subject to continual change – adaptable. Yes, the brain can change, and that means that we can change. It is not easy. As we will see, neuroplasticity is impossible without the attention and mental effort. In order for you to change, you must first want to change. But if there is will, the potential seems immense. Depression and other mental illnesses can be treated by enlisting the mind to change the brain, not by flooding it with problematic drugs. A brain affected with dyslexia can change into one that reads fluently, merely by repeatedly changing the sensory input it receives. A brain with no special ability in sports or music or dance might be induced to undergo a radical rezoning, devoting more of its cortical real estate to the circulatory that supports these skills.

Edward Taub found inspiration from the experiments with Silver Spring monkeys as he was driven by one hope: that what he learned would help the people recover from stroke and other brain lesions. Every year, some 750,000 Americans suffer from a stroke. A clot in a blood vessel, or a ruptured blood vessel, shuts off blood flow to part of the brain. Because blood carries oxygen that brain cells need to survive, cells in that region are at risk of dying. Cells, however, can hold their breath longer than people can, so there is window of about eight hours in which doctors can minimize the damage by administering the drug TPA (tissue plasminogen activator) or even by cooling the brain, which reduces oxygen demands, much as a person can survive longer without oxygen in a frigid lake than in a warm one. But many stroke victims fail to get medical help quick enough, often because they do not even realize that have suffered a stroke. As a result, stroke is the country’s leading cause of disability, with roughly one third of those who suffer a stroke becoming permanently and seriously disabled – unable to talk, to use their arms or to perform daily tasks.

Taub argued that his work pointed the way towards testing whether learning not to use an affected arm account for much of a stroke patient’s disability. He then outlines a possible way around the maladaptive learning. This therapy he had in mind would exploit the discovery that Silver Spring monkeys experiment of training monkey who had one job could be trained to perform another. From this, Taub inferred that people who had a stroke had knocked out one region of the brain could undergo training that would coax a different region of the brain to assume the function of the damaged brain.

The therapy came to be known as constraint induced movement therapy. By putting a stroke patient’s good arm in a sling and her good hand in a oven mitt so she could not use either, Taub reasoned, she would have no choice but to use her ‘useless’ arm. If she wanted to hold onto something or feed herself to get dressed or do the laborious rehabilitation exercises though which he put patients. It was an uphill battle from the start. The rehab community was united in opposition to the idea that therapy after a stroke could reverse the neurological effects of the stroke. The official position of the American Stroke association for chronic stroke only increase a patient’s muscular strength and confidence, but does nothing to address brain damage.

In 1987, Taub joined some other open minded colleagues and began working with four stroke patients who were in the top quartile of stroke survivors in their ability to move their affected arm. Taub had the patients wear a sling on their good arm for 90 percent of their waking hours for fourteen days straight. On ten of those days – two five day weeks, they spend six hours at the University where Taub worked undergoing intensive training. They threw balls. They played dominos. They held cards. They stacked up sandwiches and laboriously delivered lunch to their mouths. They tried again and again to extend their arm far enough to pick up a peg, to hold it tightly enough to keep from losing their grip on it, to pull their arm back towards the hold in the pegboards, and to slip it into the right hole. It is painful to watch you hold your breath as when a gymnast attends a particular tricky move. The reward for successfully inserting the peg, of course, was getting to do it again and again and again. If the patient could not reach the peg at first, the therapist too her by the hand, guiding her arm to the peg, then back to the hole, all the while offering encouragement.

After just ten days of therapy, Taub found, patients regain significant use of an arm that would always be rendered uselessly. They could put on a sweater, unscrew a cap on a jar, and pick up a bean on a spoon and lift it to their mouth. They could perform almost twice as many of the routine daily activities as a patient who, serving as controls, did not receive the therapy. And these were not patients whose stroke was so recent that they might have regained movement spontaneously, as many do. No, these patients suffered their stroke more than a year before beginning therapy and so long past the period when, rehab wisdom held, either spontaneous or therapy-aided recovery takes place. Two years after treatment ended, Taub’s patients were still brushing their teeth, combing their hair, eating with a fork and spoon and picking up a glass and drinking from it.

This showed his clear hunch that the old brain, even a damaged brain, retains some of its early neuroplasticity – enough, at least, to rezone the motor cortex so that the functions of a damaged region can be assumed by a healthy region.
Further studies over the past 14 years have toppled the dogma that when a brain region is damaged by a stroke, the function it used to perform is forever lost. Instead the brain is able to recruit healthy, unusually nearby, neurons to perform the function of the damaged ones.

It is important to recognized what neuroplasticity is not; a glam name for the cellular changes that underlie the formation of memory and hence learning. New synapse, connection between one neuron and another, are the physical manifestations of memories. In this sense, the brain undergoes continuous physical change. But neuroplasticity goes beyond that. It produces wholesale changes in the job functions of particular areas of the brain. Cortical real estate that used to serve one purpose is reassigned and begins to do another. The brain remerges itself throughout life, in response to outside stimuli – to its environment and to it’s experience. As Taub’s violin players and stroke patients, so dramatically, many brain systems retain well into adulthood their ability to respond to altered sensory inputs and reorganize themselves accordingly. “Plasticity is an intrinsic property of the human brain.” The potential for the brain to reprogram itself might be much greater than has previously been assumed.

As he sees it, neuroplasticity is evolutions way of letting the brain break the bonds of its own genome, escaping the destiny that usually cases one region to process visual input and another to process auditory input, one stretch of the somatosensory cortex to process feeling from the right index finger and another to process input from the thumb. Genes set up all that. But genes can’t know what demands, challenges, losses and blows the brain will encounter, and more than parents can’t know what slings and arrows the child they send out into the world will meet. Rather than set strict rules of behavior, wise parents teach their children to respond to the challenges they meet. So, too, has nature equipped the human brain, endowing it with the flexibility to adapt to the environment it encounters, the experiences it has, the damage it suffers, the demands the owners makes of it. The brain is neither immutable nor static but instead continuously remodeled by the lives we lead.

The environment and our experiences change our brain, so who you are as a person changes by virtue of the environment you live in and the experiences you have (p87). But there is a catch. Theses changes only occur when the person is paying attention to the input that causes them. As we shall see, if I run the finger of your left hand over the strings of a violin while you were sleeping, and did it again and again, the region of the somatosensory cortex that registers sensation from your fingers would not expand. This was one hint, seen even in the early monkey experiments, that mental activity affects, and perhaps even enables, neuroplasticity. That is, neuroplasticity occurs only when the mind is in a particular mental state, one marked by attention and focus.

The Dalai Lama said the most powerful influences of the mind come from within our own minds. The book concludes to state “the conscious act of thinking about one’s thoughts in a different way changes the very brain circuit that does that thinking, as studies of how therapy changes that brains of the people. Such willfully induced brain change requires focus, training, effort, but a growing number of studies using neuroimaging show how real those changes are. They come from within. As the discoveries of neuroplasticity, and this self directed neuroplasticity, trickles down to clinics, and schools and plain old living room, that ability to willfully change the brain will become a central part of our lives – and our understanding of what it means to be human.

With gratitude,

Signature

The Slight Edge

The Slight Edge

This book is perfect for anyone who wants to take their life to the next level.

Ralph Waldo Emerson said the only person you are destined to become is the person you decide to be. It is more than a decision. It’s accompanied with an action.

The slight edge won’t change who you are as much as it will change what you do.

Olsen describes a moment in his life where he was cutting the grass of the Country Club golf course. He watched the wealthy club members playing golf all over the porcelain smooth grass that he had cut for them. He asked himself why wasn’t he driving in the carts and playing golf? Instead he was in the heat sweating it out for very little money.

This was the moment he decided to do something different. He didn’t want to live in the land of mediocrity, he wanted to inhabit the world of high achievement.

Like every entrepreneur, Olsen has experienced peaks and troughs, ebbs and flows. He has been a college dropout, a beach bum, and lost everything financially. He has been a straight A student, top corporate manager, super achieving entrepreneur in a cutting-edge industry and complete financial success. This seems to be a lot of people’s story.

Most people are focused on survival, making enough to get by. Very few people are willing to do the work it takes to create success. The reason why diets, self-help courses and weight loss programs don’t work for most people is the same reason why most how to books and courses don’t work for most people. It is that people do the action for a little while then stop.

Do the thing, and you shall have the power. Just do it. Fail your way to the top.

There is a natural progression to everything in life; Plant, cultivate, harvest, reap. Not reap first. Most people want to have success quick fast and easy. They expect to eat healthy food one-day train at the gym one-day and they’ll have an amazing healthy body. Forgetting it takes work. Daily work to create success.

It’s the boring, mundane, disciplined things you do on a daily basis which compound over time and make a profound difference in the future. It’s not about focusing on instant gratification now but having a long-term vision for where you love your life to be.

Time is your greatest ally. If we look at time as money; compound interest over time creates a nest egg. If we eat healthy over a long period of time we maintain a healthy weight. If we exercise a little bit every day we maintain our health. It’s the compounding every single day over time that creates the outcome.

Imagine instead of watching an hour of television every night, you sunk your teeth into pages of inspiring books like Napoleon Hills’ ‘Think and Grow Rich’ or Stephen Cove’s The Seven Habits of Highly Effective People. What would your life be like today if five years earlier you had changed one simple thing? How different would your life be right now?

There is always a cost to everything that you do and you have to weigh up if that cost worth it? Is the pain of staying the same as weighing the pain of growing?

To be successful it is not education, looks, talent or inheritance. It isn’t chance, blind faith, or done luck, and isn’t prepared nurse meets opportunity either. It is an abundance of sincere wanting, wishing and I will add doing.

Successful people don’t wish for it they work for it. They live below their means, making small adjustments knowing it will pay off in the long run. There is nothing too exciting living this way. They are mastering the mundane. The slide edge is boring.

You don’t see the results, at least not today. You are willing to wait. What you do now really does matter. What you do today matters. What you do every day matters. Those little things that will make you successful in life, that will secure your health, your fulfilment, your dreams. It’s the simple subtle mundane things that nobody will see, nobody will applaud, nobody will even notice.

Because they are mundane and simple they are easy to do and they are easy not to do. Sometimes the path of success is inconvenient, and therefore not just easy not to do but actually easier not to do. For most people, it’s easier to stay in bed. Getting on the path and staying on the path requires courage and faith, especially at the start. You don’t know what’s out there, but you go out anyway.

The reason the slight edge is so widely ignored unnoticed, and undervalued is that our culture tends to worship the idea of the big break. We celebrate the dramatic discovery, the big breakthrough, Big successes. When you understand the slight edge, you stop looking for the big successes and you start building step-by-step moment by moment and watch momentum build to create opportunities for you.

We all having a ripple effect of some sort already whether or not we realize it. If you’re an entrepreneur and work for yourself with no boss you have no one making you accountable. If your moods go up and down your actions become inconsistent where you do too much or too little. Our moods can shift and change the impact you have on your business. And overtime can compound and create volatility.

Greatness is always in the moment of decision. You have to decide what it is that you want to create in your life.

Social science research says that as a child, are you heard the word “no” about 40,000 times by the age of five, before you even started first grade. And how many times have you heard the word yes? About 5000. That’s eight times as many no’s as yes’s. Eight times the force holding you down, compare to the force of lifting you up. You have to override the no and focus on yes. You have to push through the barriers and the resistance to create what it is that you would love.

You have to take responsibility for your own life. Blaming someone for your life and your decisions won’t get you anywhere. Don’t complain about what you allow. Take full responsibility for the choices that you make in your life and in your work.

Mastery is the active setting your foot on the path and not in reaching it and it’s the willingness to get on the path and stay on it. It’s doing the steps that are required to achieve it no matter how difficult.

Invest in yourself. Constantly learn about yourself, the world around you and how life works every day. Learn new skills and sharpen old ones. Stay on the personal growth path. Read one chapter of an information rich, inspiring book every day. Listen to 15 minutes of life changing audio. Take a course or seminar every few weeks or months. The simple disciplines will compound over time.

The purpose of investing in yourself is not to accumulate skills or fluency in specific areas of knowledge. While those things are valuable, they are not the principal aim. The principal aim in self investment is to train how you think and what you think. You are shifting your subconscious minds so that it shifts your conscious actions.

Newton’s second law of thermodynamics states a body at rest tends to stay at rest and a body in motion tends to remain in motion. This is why the power of momentum can help you immensely to have the slight edge. That’s why your daily activities are so important. Once you’re in motion it’s easy to keep on keeping on. Once you stop, it’s hard to change from stop to go.

There are three simple yet essential steps to achieving a goal. First, write it down, give a clear description and timeline. Look at it every day. Keep it in your face, soak your subconscious in it. Stop with the plan. Make that plan simple. The point of the plan is not that it will get you there, but you will get you started.

Successful people know the power of planning. If I was given six hours to cut a tree down, I’d spend four hours sharpening my axe. Spend time mastering your planning what you’ll do. Plan then act.

Let’s end with some quick habits that will make a huge difference. Show up. Be consistent. Be committed for the long haul. Cultivate a burning desire.

What can you do to cultivate a burning desire within you?

With gratitude,

Signature

Nothing Is Missing, What Are You Searching For?