What’s Your Story?

Tanya Cross on October 7, 2021

I’ve been feeling flat this week.

It’s not that I’ve lost inspiration or anything. Far from it. The sessions I’ve had this week definitely kept that pep in my step.

One in particular stands out: a member of my family who shared how one thing I said when we were 9, gave him the will to keep living. At the ripe age of 9! (Talk about a kid counsellor.)

Moments like that make me realise you never know the impact you have.

And here’s the real kicker – especially the longevity of your impact.

We might see so little of our impact in any given moment. But the ripple effects? The ones that emerge as a byproduct of your initial action? They’re almost infinite.

So, if you’re wondering, “what’s the point of it all”… let this be your reminder. Keep being you and follow your heart.

You mean more than you know to the people you touch.

Ok, back to why I was feeling flat this week for a second: I think it’s because of where my focus went. Like anyone who’s on a mission, we have big goals for 2021 here at MG.

And when you’re stretching beyond your comfort zone, it’s easy to focus only on numbers: followers, subscribers, dollars, clients – and if you’re corporate – market share, etc.

Those are important, yes.

But there’s one metric that defies data, yet is worth tracking:

Why you began in the first place. Not necessarily your grand vision. But that little kernel of ‘why’ inside you.

One big belly laugh in our marketing meeting was all it took for me. I remembered the lightness I want to evoke in this community. And that connection to something greater than ourselves.

So… coming full circle to our subject line today:

What’s YOUR story, {first_name}? Why did you start your business?

Remember why you’re really doing this. Is it for those things you can reduce to a number? Or about something you truly care about? SomeONE, even?

Doesn’t have to be pages or paragraphs. Or even beautifully articulated.

Maybe it’s as simple as, “to spend more time with my family” or “because I truly love changing people’s lives”.

No matter how big or small, just hold onto that truth: be you. Follow your heart.

Leadership Coach
Counsellor & Master Certified Demartini Method Facilitator

Chocolates, Ping Pong And Keith Urban

Tanya Cross on October 7, 2021

I’m writing this on a plane to Coffs Harbour.

You won’t read it until Sunday (it’s Friday right now – hello from the past!), but my fingers itched to get this down. Because when inspiration knocks, you listen.

My partner, Aaron, is snoozing next to me. Looking dashing with that ‘headrest tilt’ and signature plane nap move: the slackjaw half-snore.

I could probably float a ping pong ball on his exhales.

(Alas – no space for pingpong next to the bottles and blankies for Bonnie, my daughter. #priorities)

And of course, by the time you read this, it’ll be Feb 14th. Which is one of the only universal holidays that you might love one year and dread the next.

But that’s only partly why Aaron and I haven’t planned anything for each other for the big V-day.

I don’t really like chocolate. Or flowers. Or wine. (Keith Urban tickets on the other hand, I will enthusiastically accept.)

Besides, the spirit of today isn’t about big or expensive displays of affection.

Really, it’s a day for celebrating love, which is why we’re investing our weekend with Aaron’s mum. She’s getting older and a little forgetful. And we want to make sure she has as much Bonnie time as possible.

Because that’s something worth living more years for.

See, romance is beautiful but true love and appreciation… that’s unconditional. And you can share it with anyone. Not just your partner. (Though please do share your love with them. Vigorously!)

So. Whether you’re picnicking like lovebirds with your partner, or seducing a pint of Ben and Jerry’s like it’s your stand-in soulmate…

Reach out to the people who matter to you today. Let them know they matter.

Because that’s all every one of us wants, really. To know we’re special to someone. We’re loved.

And hey – {first_name}, YOU matter to me. You give my life meaning. So thank you for being you.

Have a love-filled day.

Leadership Coach
Counsellor & Master Certified Demartini Method Facilitator
Maximum Growth: Private & Group Coaching Available

PS – quick idea for a ‘last minute’ present today: write a love letter to someone you care deeply about. Partner, parent, friend, brother (yes, bromance counts), teacher… whoever. You don’t have to wax poetic or anything. Just write from your heart. What they mean to you, why you love them, what you love about them. I guarantee it’ll fill up your heart and theirs today. And if you can’t think of anyone, your words are always welcome here, with me.

5 Levels Of Leadership

Tanya Cross on October 7, 2021

5 Levels Of Leadership

Achieving leadership is not easy, nor is it like earning a degree. “You don’t achieve it and then leave it.” Once you achieve leadership it does not guarantee you will stay there.

Leadership is a verb (doing word) not a noun. C W Perry states “leadership is accepting people where they are and taking them somewhere.” To succeed, you help others follow you up the ladder. If you are not moving, they are not following. You know you have achieved a leadership when the people you work with are becoming leaders themselves.

The form of leadership will change depending on the relationship you have with each person in the team. You will be on different levels with different people and the level can change quickly. People will respond to you based on the level of leadership you are on with them.

The Five Levels of Leadership
Level One: Position
Level Two: Permission
Level Three: Production
Level Four: People Development
Level Five: Pinnacle

LEVEL ONE: POSITION

You have been invited to the leadership table. Someone has seen you have leadership potential. They don’t say what they are going to do, they show what they are going to do. You have been invited to be a part of the leadership game. Here you grab the opportunity to show what you can do for the team and the organization. You have to prove you deserve the position.

When an individual received a position and title, some level of authority or power usually comes with them. You have only limited power to begin with as it must be earned from your fellow team members. The infantryman’s Journal (1954) says, “No man is a leader until his appointment is ratified in the minds and hearts of his men”
You gain leadership, not just a position.

‘Good’ leaders as Maxwell describes, which I am going to label as effective leaders as we don’t want to place a moral ‘good’ or ‘bad’ on leaders, are genuine, strive to better themselves. Frances Hesselbein said “Leadership is much less about what you do, and much more about who you are.”

What is in the way? Fears, needs, and unproductive habits! Explore the depths of who you are and understand yourself, know yourself and define your values and there will be a transformation. “Values are the soul of your leadership, they drive your behaviour”

Effective leadership changes individuals lives. It forms teams. It builds organizations. It impacts communities. It has the potential to impact the world. But never forget the position is only the starting point.

Downside of Position
Positional leaders make people feel small

By not having a genuine belief in them
By assuming people can’t instead of assuming they can
By assuming people won’t rather than believing they will
Be seeing their problems more readily than their potential
By viewing them as liabilities instead of assets

They focus on working to gain titles. They believe they have rights which has a sense of entitlement. Each of us as leaders must strive to grow up and grow into a leadership role without relying on rights.

Turnover is high for positional leaders because people don’t quit companies, people quit people

Clock watchers
People who watch the time, can’t wait to be out of there. They are already saying goodbye to coworkers at 4.30pm and are out of the door at 5pm.

Just enough workers
People will do just the bare minimum to get what they have to get done, no more.

Mentally absent
They show up, get their paycheck and leave.

You’ve heard ‘it’s lonely at the top.’ True leadership won’t be lonely at the top when you help others to become leaders, you have people walking along side you and helping you to climb the mountain. With others joining you on your leadership journey, you will find it hard to be lonely at the top.

Your leadership will not be threatened. You do not need to guard your position. Help others get where they want while you get where you want.

Moving to Level 2
Ensure you find ways to influence action. Have you asked them how you can help them? Ask them about the challenges they have in their position. Make it an opportunity to work together as a team to make a difference. Form relationships. Show interest.

Leaders don’t fake it until they make it. They demonstrate through being a leader. People will feel true and fake authenticity.

People skills, not power gets things done. “If you want to become a better leader, let go of control and start focusing on cooperation.” You move beyond your job title, move beyond your job description. You interact with people, build relationships. “You must take responsibility to learn who they are, find out their needs, and help them and the team win.”

Raise the bar
Never think you have arrived. Always raise the bar further and further.

Lifelong process
Leadership is a lifelong process. Today I received a leadership position. I will endeavor every day to become a better leader.” It is a journey. Not the destination. Effective leaders don’t take anything for granted. They keep working and leading. Leaders are initiators. Socrates said, “let him that would move the world, first move himself.”

LEVEL TWO: PERMISSION

Here, you move from “me” to “we” attitude. Building relationships develops a foundation for effectively leading others.

Relationship is more powerful than price
Relationship is more powerful than delivery
Relationship is more powerful than quality
Relationship is more powerful than service

Upside of Permission
Level 2 shifts from me to we.

Leadership is an opportunity to serve. Leadership permission increases the energy levels. Leadership permission opens up channels of communication.

On Level 2, the top-down positional leadership is replaced with side-by-side relationships.

Recently the author came across an explanation of the Chinese symbol for the verb “to listen” I thought it gave tremendous insight into the concept. The word, pronounced ‘ting’ is make up of smaller symbols with specific meaning.

Those symbols represent you, indicating that the focus is on the other person, not on yourself. The ear, the primary tool used in listening, the eyes, which we used to discover nonverbal clues to communication, undivided attention, which every person deserves if we intend to listen to all that is said, and the heart, which indicates that we are open to the other person on an emotional level, not just an intellectual one. In other words, to really listen, we must have:

Ears – I hear what you have to say
Eyes – I see what you say
Heart – I feel what you say
Undivided attention – I value who you are and what you say

Leadership permission focuses on the value each person can contribute to the team. Leadership permission nurtures trust. Trust is the foundation of permission. If you have integrity with people, you develop trust. The more trust you develop, the stronger the relationship becomes. The better the relationship, the greater the potential for a leader to gain permission to lead. It’s a building process that takes time, energy and intentionality. “When the crunch comes, people cling to those they know they can trust – those who are not detached, but involved.” James Stockdale.

Downside of Permission
The pressure is on you to build relationships. Permission leadership appears too soft for some people.
Permission leadership can be frustrating for some achievers. Permission leadership can be taken advantage of. There are four kinds of people

Takers, those who leverage the relationship to better themselves, but not you or anyone else
Developers, those who leverage the relationship bettering them and you.
Acquaintances, those who live off their relationships with you but never do anything about it. They hang around waiting for something ‘good’ to happen, content to live off the success of others but do not take responsibility to grow themselves.
Friends, those who enjoy their relationships with you, returning favour but not taking advantage of it.

Permission leaders need to be open to be effective. They need to be authentic. This type of leadership is difficult for people who are not naturally likeable. You must like people and become more likeable

The bottom line of Level 2 is that most of the downside of leadership comes from dealing with people.

Best Behaviors on Level 2

How to gain people’s permission

Connect with yourself before trying to connect with others. The first person we must examine is ourselves. Learn your strengths and weaknesses.
Develop a people orientated leadership style. “Leading an organization is as much about soul as it is about systems. Effective leadership finds its source in understanding” Herb Kelleher.
Practice the Golden Rule. Treat others, as you want to be treated
Become the Chief Encourager of your team. As a leader, you have great influence and power to lift people up. “I am glad you work with me; you add incredible value to the team.” Means a lot coming from someone who has the best interest of the team, department or organization at heart. If you become chief encourager of the people on your team, they will work hard and strive to meet your positive expectations.
Strike a balance between care and candor. Regardless of what they do, I am committed to giving them unconditional love.

An example, Sheryl came to work with me because she was a real go-getter with a lot of potential. For six months, I watched her work, and what I discovered was that she was great at the hard side of leadership. She was energetic. She was organised. She planned the day, the week, the month, the quarter and the year. And she always got things done. But she totally neglected the soft side of leadership – the recreational part. She wasn’t winning over anyone she was leading. As a result, she wasn’t gaining influence.

Caring defines the relationship while candor directs the relationship. Leaders have to make the best decisions for the largest group of people. Therefore, leaders do not cater to the individual if it is not for the best interest of the whole. Caring should not suppress candor, while candor should never displace caring

Laws of Leadership at the Permission Level

The Law of influence: The true measure of leadership is influence, nothing more, nothing less. How does a leader get another to do something willingly, excellently and consistently? By influencing them?
The Law of Addiction: Leaders add Value by serving others. They lead in order to help people and add value to them.
The Law of Solid Ground: Leaders trust the foundation of leadership. You cannot influence people who don’t trust you. Trust is the glue that holds people together.
The Law of Magnetism: Who you are is who you attract. Birds of a feather flock together. It is a fact of life that like-minded people are attracted to one another. Again, if you want to change your team, change yourself.
The Law of Connection: Leaders touch a heart before they ask for a hand. Connecting having the ability to identify with and relate to people in such a way that it increases your influence with them.
The Law of Buy-In: People buy into a leader, then the vision. Before you ask people to move forward to achieve the vision, they must first buy into you as a leader. Before they buy into you as the leader, you must have earned their trust and gained permission to lead them

Beliefs that help a leader move up to level 3

Relationships alone are not enough
Building relationships requires twofold growth. People must grow with each other. Growing requires compatibility. Growing with each other requires intentionality.

If you are married or in a long term relationship, then you probably how these dynamics come into play. When you first meet your partner, you moved towards each other, based on attraction, common ground and shared experiences. You established the relationship. However, the relationship can’t last if you never go beyond those initial experiences. To stay together, you need to sustain the relationship. That requires common growth. If you don’t grow together, there is a very likely change you may grow apart.

Similarly, if you are having any staying power as a leader, you must grow towards and with your people. Just because you have developed strong relationships, don’t think you are done on the relationship side.
Achieving the vision as a team is worth risking the relationship. Risk always presents in leadership. Any time you try to move forward there is a risk. There is no progress without risk.

If people relate to the company they work for, if they form an emotional tie to it and buy into its dreams, they will pour their hearts into making it better. What is the key link between people and the company? The leader they work with. That leader is the face, heart, and hands of the company on the day-to-day basis. If the leader connects and cares, that makes a huge difference.

Guide to Growing through Level 2

The basic guidelines will help you grow as a leader

Be sure you have the right attitude toward people
Connect with yourself
Understand where you come from
Express value for each person on your team
Evaluate where you are with your team
Accept the whole person as part of leading
Make a fun goals
Give people your undivided attention
Become your teams encourager in chief
Practice care and candor

LEVEL THREE: PRODUCTION

Effective leaders always make things happen. They get results. They can make a significant impact on an organization. Not only are they productive individually, but they also are able to help the team produce. This ability gives Level 3 leaders confidence, credibility, and increased influence.

No one can fake Level 3. Either you are producing for your organization and adding to its bottom line (whatever that may be) or you’re not. Simple.

They are self-motivated to produce. As a result, they create momentum and develop an environment of success, which makes the team better and stronger. They show promise. They have connections. They play politics. They have seniority. The organization is desperate.

Upside of Production

Leadership production gives credibility to the leader. Authentic leaders know the way and show the way productively. Their leadership talk is supported by their walk. They deliver results. They live on their performance, not their potential. They lead by example. And their ability to get results tends to silence their critics and build their reputation.
They take their people where they want to go, they don’t send them there. They are more like a tour guide than travel agents. Why? Because people always believe what we do more than what we say.
Leadership Production Models and sets the standard of others visually. That’s the power of production. If you can develop solid relationships with people and you can produce, you can be an effective leader. “His cardinal mistake is that isolates himself allows no one to see him. ”Lincoln. He knew that leaders need to be among their people, inspiring them with their ability, letting them see what the standard should be for their performance. When leaders produce, so do their people.
Leadership production brings clarity and reality to the vision. Leaders constantly communicate their vision to the company.
Leadership production solves a multitude of problems. George C Marshall said “Morale is the state of mind. It is steadfastness and courage and hope. It is confidence and zeal and loyalty… it is staying power with people, the spirit which endures until the end – with all things possible.
Leadership production creates momentum.
Momentum takers: The vast majority of people don’t start or stop anything, they just go along for the ride. Their productiveness is based almost entirely on what others do to make things happen in the organization. For that reason, they need effective leaders who produce and create a productive environment. It is defined as “faith in the leader.
Momentum breakers: Challenges morale and prevents others from producing.
Momentum makers: These are leaders, they produce. Make things happen.
Leadership production is the foundation for team building. No one wants to leave a champion team.

Downside of Production

Being productive can make you think you’re a leader when you are not. Keep your eye on the ball. Possess the desire to take your team to the highest level.
Producing leaders feel a heavy weight of responsibility for results. Honesty makes a leader who reached level three tire of leading because of the weight of responsibility they feel. Most leaders experience days when they wish no one was watching their performance, looking to them for direction, or wanting them to make something happen. However, effective leaders understand that the cost of leadership is carrying the responsibility of their team’s success on their shoulders. That is a weight every leader feels starting on level 3. You will have to decide whether you are willing to carry it.
Production leadership requires making difficult decisions. A billionaire oilman and environmental advocate T Boone Pickens says “be willing to make decisions. That’s the most important quality in an effective leader. You’ll say today I look back, I regret the decisions I failed to make more than I do the wrong decisions I did make.”

As a leader on level 2 you must make a difficult decision to

Be successful before you try to help others be successful
Hold yourself to a higher standard than you ask of others
Make yourself accountable to others
Accept responsibility for personal results
Admit failure and mistakes quickly and humbly
Ask from others only what you have previously asked of yourself
Gauge your success on results, not intentions
Remove yourself from situations where you are ineffective.

Why must I always go first? Going first may not always be easy or fun, but it is always a requirement of leaders. It paves the way for the people who follow and increases their chance of success for completing the journey.

4. Production leadership demands continual attention to level 2. Keep developing the relationship and caring for them as you produce results.

Best Behaviors On Level 3

How to make the Most production in leadership

Understand how your personal giftedness contributes to the vision. If you are a leader, you must have a sense of vision for your leadership. And it must align, at least during the current season, with the vision of the organization you serve.
4 areas to contribute the most to productivity of an organization or team.
1. Influencing people (leadership)
2. Connecting with people (relationships)
3. Communicating with people (speaking)
4. Creating resources to help people (writing)
“Do what you do so well that those who see you do what you do are going to come back to see you do it again and let others that they should see you do what you do.” Walt Disney
If you want your team or department to excel at what they do, then you need to excel at what you do. Productivity has to start with the leader. Focus there first, and you will earn opportunities to help others improve and reach their potential.
Cast vision for what needs to be accomplished. Leaders help people define the success of their vision. Leaders help people commit to the success of the vision. Leaders help people experience success
Begin to Develop your people into a team. Build complimentary teams. Team members should understand their mission. Team leaders should make it happen. Team members should receive feedback about their performance. Team leaders should make it happen. Team members should work in an environment which is inspiring and full of growth. – team leaders should make it happen. Leaders should create an environment for their people that inspires, challenges and stretches them.
Prioritize the things that yield high returns. What is the key to productivity? Prioritizing. To be an effective level 3 leader, you must learn to not only get a lot done, but to get a lot of the right tasks done. “Most people lead busy but undisciplined lives. We have ever-expanding “to do” lists, trying to build momentum by doing, doing, doing – and doing more. And it rarely works. Those who build the good-to-great companies, however, make as much use of ‘stop doing’ lists as ‘to do’ lists. They displayed a remarkable discipline to unplug all sorts of extraneous junk” Good to Great, Jim Collins.
Most leaders feel a great deal of pressure to get a lot done. Productive leaders understand that activity is not necessarily accomplished. They plan accordingly.
Be willing and ready to be a change agent
Vision: Must be similar, and they will all stand together.
Values: Must have similar values
Relationship: Great teams have commitment to the team and the vision.
Attitude: If you are going to get people to work together for change, their attitudes must be about change.
Communication: For change to occur, communication must be open, honest and ongoing.
Never lose sight of the fact that results are your goal. Effective leaders know that results always matter, no matter the obstacles they face, what the economy does, what kind of problems their people are experiencing and so on.
People buy into leaders, then their vision. That buy in comes from two things. The relationship you have with them and the results you demonstrate in front of them.

The Laws of Leadership at the Production Level.
The Law of Respect: People follow leaders stronger than themselves.
The Law of Magnetism: You are who you attract
The Law of Picture: People do what people see
The Law of Victory: Leaders find a way for the team to win
The Law of The Big Mo. Momentum is a leader’s best friend
The law of Priorities: Leaders understand that activity is not necessarily accomplished
The Law of Sacrifice. A leader must give up going up
The Law of Buy In: People buy into the leader, then the vision

Beliefs That Help a Leader Move up To Level 4

Production is not enough.
People are an organization’s most appreciable asset.
Growing leaders is the most effective way to accomplish the vision
People development is the greatest fulfilment for a leader

It is impossible to help others without helping yourself.

Guide to Growing through Level 3

Be a team member you want on your team
Translate personal productivity
Understand everyone’s productive niche
Cast vision continually
Build your team
Use momentum to solve problems
Discern how team members affect momentum
Practice the Pareto principle
Accept your role as change agent
Don’t neglect level 2

LEVEL FOUR: PEOPLE DEVELOPMENT

Effective Leaders gauge and notice potential in people regardless of their position and bring out the best in people. These leaders transition from producers to developers. They invest time, money and thinking into growing others as leaders. They put 80% of their focus on their personal productivity and 20% focused on developing and leading others.

The Upside of People Development
Leadership becomes even stronger and the potential of the organisation increases dramatically when you develop people. This is because as your people reach their potential your organization will reach its potential. You must believe in their value, in their dreams and believe it is worth the investment that is required.

Now true leadership is not what happens when you are there, but when you are not there. You can’t do everything. You don’t want everything to come crashing down when you are not there. Transfer the leadership so others have ownership and where they want responsibility.

Everyone has the potential to lead, at least in some area and in some capacity. When you give someone responsibility and authority, they not only learn, but they start to fulfill their leadership responsibilities. That action transforms people and organisations.

All leaders feel the weight of responsibility for leading. When you have others leading, you share the load of leadership

If you think back to your own leadership journey, someone gave you an opportunity. No leader is self-made. Everyone was given a start by someone.

The Downside of Leadership
There are no guarantees that the time, energy and effort you invest in someone will work out. People development requires a very high level of maturity. It requires a high level of skill.

If you want to lead at level 4 you need to focus 80% of your time helping others to grow, learn and achieve. If you always focus on yourself you will feel their needs interfere with your goals. The focus is on you, not on growing your team. Think ‘what can I do for others.’ Zig Ziggler said it best “if you help others get what they want, you get what you want.”

As a leader you are forge ahead, you break ground and you make mistakes. You know this is true for you and you know it’s true for others too. You allow room for growth.

Your ultimate job is to work yourself out of your job. That doesn’t mean freedom for you, but stepping up to a higher role.

Best Behaviors on Level 4
Only leaders can develop other people to become leaders. You have to walk your talk.

Recruiting is the first and most important task in developing people. If you get the best players and coach them soundly, you’re going to win. There are Four C’s to look for in a potential leader.

Chemistry. Do you like them? You’ll want to work and mentor those you like
Character: DO you trust them? You’ll want to work with people who you trust.
Capacity: Assess their capacity to handle stress, their skills, their leadership and attitude
Contribution: Do they have an X factor? This means will they contribute beyond their job responsibilities and lift the performance of the team?

Successful leaders help people to find the right seats. Sometimes trying and failing. You take this in your stride.

How does a leader equip people to do their work and succeed at it? The best method is a 5-step equipping process is;
Step 1: do it (competence)
Step 2: I do it and you are with me (demonstrate)
Step 3: you do it and I am with you (coaching)
Step 4: you do it (empowerment)
Step 5: you do it and some is with you (reproduction)
This method will equip leaders and begin to train them to equip others.

Challenge people in every area of their highest values (gain their permission first). Read books, attend conferences, get mentoring. Help them to focus on being the best version of themselves.

Beliefs That Help a Leader Move Up To Level 5
Be willing to keep growing yourself. Everyone has something to teach you. Remaining coachable yourself.
Work through your own issues. Get mentoring if you need it, as you expand, so does your leadership, your influence and your impact. Remain approachable as a leader, a role model and coach.

LEVEL FIVE: PINNACLE

People follow because of who you are and what you represent. You stand out from everyone else. They lead so well for so long that they create a legacy of leadership in the organization they serve.

The Upside of The Pinnacle
Your influence has expanded beyond your reach and your time. You are developing a generation of leaders who will develop the next generation of leaders. You have an opportunity to impact beyond your lifetime. Not many people achieve this level of leadership.

The leadership journey has the potential to take individuals through a lifelong process in three phases; learn, earn, return. Learning as you grow up the leadership ladder. They then earn a decent income. Then return is where you give back to others.

The Downside of The Pinnacle
You think you have arrived. If you think you’re on the way up, you are surely going down. You have the danger of being at the top and think there is no more to grow and learn. You can never arrive. You can only drive higher. If leaders who reach the pinnacle want to make the most of their time there, they must remain focused on their vision and purpose and continue leading at the highest level.

At the Pinnacle, you can lose focus of how hard you worked and expect more from other with less time and skills as you.

Best Behavior of Level 5
Leadership is about others, not about the leader. Cultivate your followers. Your drive is about being succeeded instead of needed. Everyone is dispensable. You create pride in your success.

The empowerment leadership model shifts away from position leadership to people power where all people are given leadership roles so they can contribute to their fullest capacity. You have to bring your imagination, skill and commitment to the table. You have to give it your all to all potential level 5 leaders because you may be surprised by who finishes the strongest.

You have the ability to lead and a platform to persuade. Use the opportunity whenever possible to pass on what you have learned to help others. Leadership is influence. Leverage it to add value to others.

Leaving a successor is the greatest leadership development you can offer. Success is dependent upon the leader with the baton handing it off to the next leader when both are running at full speed. You’ll hurt the organisations momentum by slowing down. Plan your succession and leave before you have to.

The Laws Of Leadership at the Pinnacle Level
We all have strong intuition in the areas of our giftedness. What leaders in level 5 possess in abundance is leadership intuition. Effective leaders will trust what Emmerson called the ‘blessed impulse’ That a hunch that informs you that something is right. Intuition is the ability to experience immediate insight without rational through. Learn to trust it.

The goal in life is not to live forever. The goal in life is to create something that does.

Lastly, when you develop a follower, you gain a follower. When you develop a leader, you gain a leader and all his followers. Every time you develop a leader, you make a difference in the world. This has a ripple effect on those they develop and lead.

Guide to Being Your Best At Level 5
Remain humble, maintain your core focus, create an inner circle to keep you grounded, plan your succession and your legacy. Lastly, focus on player development

Explanation. tell them what you want them to know and do
Demonstration. Show them what you want them to know and do
Initiation. Let them show you that they know what to do
Correction. Ask them to change what they are doing incorrectly.
Repetition. Ask them to do it right over and over and over again.

If you prepare properly, you may never be out scored, but you will never lose. You always win when you make the full effort to do the best of which you’re capable.

As a leader, you have to know yourself. All great leaders have a greater sense of self, clarity of purpose and crystal-clear vision. You have to have the willingness to speak about what’s really important to you, even if the outside world disagrees. It involves taking the risk of being different for the sake of being real: an original instead of a copy.

Use these levels of leadership as stepping stones for you in your leadership development and evolution. There is no end to where you can go.

What level of leadership are you playing at? And what can you do to step up?

with gratitude,

Overwhelmed

Tanya Cross on October 7, 2021

We broke a personal record here at Maximum Growth last week.

Most number of NEW students on a Masterclass EVERRRR. Can I get a Woop Woop! (Apparently everyone’s way more into shmexy talk than we realised. Lol. We’re so weird. I love that about us.)

Anyway, tonnes of work, but the crowd loved it. (Which is a crucial yardstick of impact in my books.)

So that’s the wins. Now, the overwhelm:

I posted about it in our FB group, and, well… look at the comments! I present to you, evidentiary exhibit A: Proof that something was Universally SIGNIFICANT last week:

Full context: in this McMassive meal of a week, our project to rebrand is the double-quarter pounder. The thick, juicy, gotta-be-cooked-right part. Cause if you’ve been paying attention AT ALL, you know our web presence needs just the teensiest truckload of love.

Which is super inspiring but also the tiniest bit scary (pre-requisite of all things worth doing, just quietly).

Few reasons:

1. I couldn’t help thinking, “I don’t know enough to make a decision” (I love learning, but we’re on a tight schedule here.)

2. It’s a BIG decision with long legs. This will be MG’s 24/7 red carpet look for years. Not the sort of thing you want to say, “that’ll do” and hope for the best.

3. Because it’s totally outside my expertise. Business mindset? Hell yes. Branding? Not so much.

And it’s not cheap. Do you know how much rebranding costs?

I have 7 quotes in my inbox ranging from $1.5k to over $35k. (Logo, colours, fonts, website design, development and a thing that I now know is called a brand book. Translation: like a digital style guide even a chimp could use to keep your biz lookin’ red-carpet ready.)

Which feels like a LOT of pressure. So I did what any human with feelings does: I had a mini freak out about how to make the right decision, crawled in a ball and cried.

And then I dissolved it (cause that’s what they pay me the big bucks for).

Which is when it clicked:

Ask an expert. Duh. I’m always connecting clients to specialists who love what they do. (Because there’s enough advice out there from people who are just in it for the money.) So, I made a few calls to friends. They asked me questions that pinpointed priorities, clarified my concerns, and hit the release valve on the pressure.

(So, exactly what I do with our members and clients for business mindset, they did for me with branding.)

Then, I settled on a little of an option I hadn’t even seen before: book the strengths from each.

Market research from one, brand design from another, site construction from another etc.

Crisis over. AND the perfect solution. Ahhh, the relief!

I don’t know why I hadn’t seen it before. I say this all the time when clients contact me about our membership. If you’re looking to grow yourself to grow your business – I’m your gal.

If you’re looking for yet another business tactic or strategy or hack… Google that shizz.

I guess I just needed a nudge (and that release valve) to make the connection.

And to prove the power of this spooky mindset stuff:

On Friday I had a meeting with the whole MG team to plan out our growth. For 3 hours we mapped out pure content GOLD.

Stick around, {first_name}, you’re in for a super inspiring ride here 🙂

Speaking of useful things: the moral of this story?

A lot of these lessons might sound familiar: Reach out to an expert when you’re feeling unsure. Find people who love what they do, and hang out with them. Be open to solutions you know exist but perhaps not in the context you’re used to.

But just knowing them is rarely enough. You gotta practice the basics.

Because you can’t build a burger without the bun. And you can’t master your life without the work.

Oh bonus lesson: remember to look for the wins, even when the pressure’s on. Cause they’re always there.

Just like I will be for you.

Leadership Coach
Counsellor & Master Certified Demartini Method Facilitator

For You, My Overthinker

Tanya Cross on October 7, 2021

So the final Q&A session in the 2021 Ultimate New Year Workshop series took an unexpected turn.

Almost everyone had some version of “This year’s been so full on already. I feel totally overwhelmed/numb/in my head about things. What do I do?”

Grateful you asked. Because I’ve spent YEARS getting overthinkers out of their head and into their heart. (Some of the biggest breakthroughs I have are with those kinds of clients.)

And in case you were wondering, yes – it’s easy to get ‘stuck’ spinning your wheels in indifference. Especially when it comes to doing the Demartini Method by yourself. So don’t fret – you’re in the perfect company 🙂

Mostly it happens for 3 reasons:

It’s the nature of the work. You’re literally thinking through your problems.
You subconsciously want to stay in control.
There’s a different root problem behind the problem.

Let’s go through how to solve each of them in order:

FIRST, YOU WANT TO GIVE YOUR MIND A QUICK SERVICE CHECK

No matter what you’re working through or how you’re dissolving it, you’ll pass through 3 stages:

Charge (and there are squillions of levels here), then indifference, then love.

The first and last are easily recognisable. But there’s a fine line that catches people between indifference and love. (A favourite place for over-intellectualisers to stall and stay put.)

When you reach indifference it can sometimes feel like the wind’s been taken out of your sails. You intellectually know that there are equal benefits and drawbacks to a person or dynamic, but you don’t FEEL it.

You’ve found benefits in the moment and are grateful but still secretly think, “I wish [insert dynamic] was different.” (For comparison, see how it feels different to: “Thank you. I love you. I’m grateful I got to experience this.” See that? One SEEMS balanced, but the other FEELS balanced.)

So I’m going to tell you something a little controversial: allow yourself to feel.

Whether it’s numb, or frustrated, or any other emotion. Let it be your signpost to what is still lingering in your perceptions. I call this “following the feeling”.

That means you can feel your way to knowing what to resolve and dissolve.

Because you can’t heal what you don’t feel.

If you want a check-in, you can ask yourself this quality question as a test: “What’s still in the way of me loving this individual?” (Or dynamic.)

Remember, you’re human and as long as you remain human, you’re going to feel things.

And feel things often.

The key is not to push them down or not feel, but to treat them as your teachers: there’s a lesson (and a gift) in every charge.

I learned a long time ago, every great breakthrough requires thinking AND feeling. So lean into it.

Stay tuned for next week – part 2 is a sneaky – but vital – one.

In the meantime, sending you a big warm fuzzy hug (oh feel that yummy-ness).

PS – If you’d love guidance in dissolving your stuff, weekly help with me is right here.

Technically I Can Predict The Future (True Story)

Tanya Cross on October 7, 2021

I did a palm reading course once.

Mmhmm. Truly. Got the certificate to prove it and everything.

I could throw a silky blanket over this table, slip on a few too many rings and pin a scarf on my head with a giant, sparkly jewel.

You could come to me wondering what great fame, fortune… or lurrrrve awaits you in your future.

I’d get all serious. Let a little frown crease my forehead. Maybe mutter a concerned “mmm” as I examine your heart line like it’s the Encyclopaedia {first_name}.

OOOOH. And I’d throw my hands up? And wail a little like I’m entranced, crying, “I SEE! THE SPIRITS! THEY WANT ME TO TELL YOU…”

…and then ‘come back to my senses’, leaving you on an epic cliffhanger.

(Side note: do you reckon I could get away with adding ‘clairvoyant’ alongside ‘counsellor and coach’ in my email signature? I’m not convinced. After just one course it seems a stretch.)

Anyway, fun times.

That said, I could still ‘predict’ stuff and drop gems of actual wisdom, like…

The secret of the female Oh-gasm
Messages from past lovers (and loved ones)
True, soul-inspired romance
Family fortunes and generational wealth
Weathering all manner of emotional storms as a power couple
And sooooo much more

After all, my years as a sex therapist and counsellor are worth their weight in (ostentatious) designer jewellery. Because wisdom learned through experience is still life-changing no matter how it’s packaged.

Of course, these days I do it all on Zoom calls. Minus the theatrics. And with people who want the real top-shelf wisdom, unadulterated.

Speaking of which, I’m running my famous intimacy masterclass on Wednesday Feb 3rd.

How’d you like to come to a soul reading (of sorts) with me? Predicting your own love-fortune. (Totally non-woo, but still VERY soulful. Because s.e.x. can be a soulful experience.)

For the record, yes – all those things I mentioned above, we’ll cover (except the generational wealth. Saving that one for the wealth masterclass coming up in a few months time. But extra portions of love insights and tips.)

Last time I ran this it was the hit of all our 2020 masterclasses. Most popular by far and got rave reviews.

So as a special for the 2021 class I’ve swollen the material, teased out the many, many climactic points… and thrown in a few more throbbing puns.

As you can tell – the class WILL get you there.

Run and grab your ticket for just $8 >

Getting in quick is – in this case – the right move.

(if you’re a current Maximum Growth member, no need to book – your seat’s reserved already.)

Oh and bring your partner for free if you live in the same household btw. You’ll BOTH appreciate the exercises… if you know what I mean. *wink*.

Have a sultry day, Leadership Coach

Counsellor & Master Certified Demartini Method Facilitator

Leadership Coach

Counsellor & Master Certified Demartini Method Facilitator,

Elon Musk

Tanya Cross on October 7, 2021

Elon Musk

Do you think I’m insane? This is the question he asked Ashlee Vance, the author of his autobiography. This was a more a question for himself than for anyone else.

Musk pushes boundaries that turn big ideas into big products that serve humanity. He has a willingness to tackle impossible things that most people say is not possible and won’t tolerate people who say no to him.

Making his initial money in the dot.com boom with Zip2, a google maps meets yelp platform which was sold for $307 million, Musk personally making $22 million. His next venture saw him invest not part but all $22 million into Paypal. He was so broke that he slept on his mates couch during the startup phase.

In 2002, Ebay bought out Paypal for some chump change of $1.5 billion. Yes, billion!

Do you think selling your company would settle Musk so he could live the high life?

No, he is a man on a mission. He found himself couchsurfing yet again and reinvested his $170 million share from Paypal into SpaceX and Tesla. He dedicates his life to his mission and doesn’t want to waste a moment. He is willing to take an insane personal risk in what he wanted to achieve. His life demonstrates not chasing the riches but serving humanity to bring it into the future.

Musk wanted to know of a way to not eat, and get all his nutrition in a way that would save him time so he could work more. That is what happens when you are so driven and on mission, your lower body needs less sleep, food and sex because its living by its highest value and inspired.

This man has the ability to see a vision with such clarity in his mind’s eye and bring it into reality. This made him sure of himself and then he was prepared to not always be the nice guy because he wanted his vision fulfilled. Most people are so hazy in what they want to achieve they don’t get started or play the nice guy or girl that they sacrifice their vision to please.

He truly lives “When the voice and the vision on the inside are greater and more profound than those on the outside, you have mastered your life”

When Musk was young he would block out the world and concentrates on a single task. Beautiful skill to master in today’s day and age because there are so many shiny objects to distract us. Maybe this single focus came from his tough upbringing. Maybe he was escaping and shutting out the world and at the same time training resilience to deal with big challenges in his future.

You think such a brilliant man, he must have been bright at school. Nope, “there was no sign this boy was going to be a billionaire” said a classmate of his. Musk never has a leadership role and wasn’t considered bright as a child.

Like any entrepreneurs journey he had his fair share of ideas in business. He started a business with his brother Kimbal but the business never took off because they realized they didn’t love it. Loving what you did is a key factor because you don’t feel like you’re working, you don’t need holidays and time off, it’s your life’s work because you love it.

He has a challenging personal life with marriages and divorces. He openly said that “being with me is choosing the hard path” It’s a crazy ride that he has been on and has its share of pain of being with a billionaire who is changing the world and pleasure of being with a billionaire who is changing the world.

Musk isn’t averse to failure. The harder something gets, the better he gets. He has the ability to push through rejection, no’s failures, pain. He has been a few times down to the wire to generate money to save his companies.

Tesla had to overcome some big challenges; batteries weren’t efficient enough, the car models didn’t perform and massive financial hardship to name a few. He continues to rise to the occasion.

Musk has created a community of people who want to join the Tesla club, like Job’s did with Apple. Tesla’s sales model was $100,000 bought you into the club and you received a free car. Genius!

SpaceX was looking like a failed venture. Yet 6 years after the company started, four and a half years longer than Musk expected, 500 people’s energy and effort, SpaceX had its first successful launch with Falcon 1. It also received payment from NASA and the company received $1.6 billion as payment for 12 flights to the space station.

Musk is a visionary of multiplanetary living stemming from his love of technology and science fiction. His goal is sending humans to Mars. It is possible now but it is probably in the future and Musk wants to be the man that makes it happen. Not everyone will identify with Musk’s mission but the fact that there is someone out there pushing exploration and our technical abilities to their limits is important. He becomes impatient with mistakes that hold him back and feels like his is the only one understanding the urgency of his mission. He is solving problems that have been consuming us for decades.

This is the first book I have read where I have had goosebumps after goosebumps after goosebumps. Hands down one of the most inspiring autobiographies I have ever read. It’s a must read.

What inspiring vision do you have for your own life?

Hugs and heart,

Weird Tingling (Feels Like Pregnancy?)

Tanya Cross on October 7, 2021

Full disclaimer: it’s not me. I’m not pregnant (one was enough for me) but…

Do you ever get that weird tingling under your skin? That niggle at your spidey senses, telling you something’s changed within you.

Like the planets are aligning and great things are coming.

I dunno what it is but the last couple of weeks the world’s felt pregnant with expectation and potential to me.

Could be just the new year, but I don’t think so.

While part of me believes in frequencies and vibrations, I’m a pragmatist at heart. I prepare for these things whether or not they manifest.

Because when opportunity knocks, would you rather sail into it, or scramble to catch up?

If you’re feeling that ‘pregnant potential’ too, here are 5 quality questions I ask myself every year to stay prepared. You can use them to connect with your own inner wisdom. And get ready to catch that opportunity as it’s birthed.

Why is it important to you (and others) that you achieve the goals you set for yourself this year?
What are you not paying attention to right now that, if you did, would help you progress further or faster?
What do you need to dissolve, resolve or learn to get where you want to go? (or be, do or have what you’d love.)
Who can you reach out to in your sphere of awareness or influence that will challenge and support you to grow?
What are the pitfalls you haven’t considered? How can you solve them if they happen? Or better yet – what can you build in now to prevent them from happening at all?

Especially when things seem so rosy (and full of promise), it’s wise to consider all the angles.

Yes, inspiration is important. Action is too. But planning and systems are what keep you connected to them both. (And on track, long term. Cause overnight success takes years. But you already knew that.)

Can’t wait to see what you do with this perspective

Leadership Coach
Counsellor & Master Certified Demartini Method Facilitator
Maximum Growth: Private & Group Coaching Available

PS – We’re back! First MG Member sessions of the year start up next week. In the Starter program we’re filling in all the gaps around those 5 questions (plus tonnes of others)… and setting you up with detailed, inspiring plans for the entire year. In the Business Membership, we’re honing in on scaling your service, aligning you for attraction and expanding your vision. Want in? Get in Business here (starts Tuesday). Or for Starter click here (starts Wednesday).

PPS – Thought for the week: A prepared mind is a poised mind. And poised minds leave legacies.

The Brilliant Function Of Pain

Tanya Cross on October 7, 2021

The Brilliant Function Of Pain

This book is perfect for anyone who is experiencing pain and would love to understand the concept of pain.

As human beings with a physical body, we all suffer from pain. We can be physically, emotionally, mentally or spiritually drained from the pain. If you fight it, you might find yourself endlessly seeking healers and doctors to rid you of your suffering.

Very few people make use of the pain and transcend it. Pain has a logic and distinct function, hence, there is a brilliant function of pain. It serves a purpose. When we experience pain, we immediately label it as ‘sickness’,when it is actually a brilliant signal telling us to do something to right ourselves. It is telling us what to do, minute by minute to prevent more serious problems.

Ward shares he has nothing to recommend to you, absolutely nothing, except what you yourself are prepared to learn from the enormous wisdom of your incredible inner self. This is wisdom, because as the student is ready, the teacher appears. For those who are not ready, it falls on deaf ears.

WHAT IS PAIN?

Our instinctive being constantly emanates from and seeks a state of mental, emotional, physical and spiritual equilibrium. All pain demands us (our minds) to help restore this equilibrium.

Pain is reminding you that there is an infinitely brilliant force. Our own force, is functioning on our behalf. It is a wonderful reminder of a vast spectrum of consciousness that lies beyond the limited perception of our thoughts. This wisdom shows there are inner capacities that infinitely exceed all learned knowledge.

Trust the pain. Pain is a sign. Simply listen to yourself and what it is revealing to you. The cure for the problem is indicated by the pain. Failure to read the early pains can create larger more problematic pains in the future.

DIET AND PAIN

What do we have to gain from exercise or outdoor living if we do not have enough awareness to open our pants belt that is constructing our breathing, blocking out food digestion and forcing our heart to pump blood through our impeded arteries? What good is organic food if you are not aware that the pain in your stomach is rejecting any food.

We suffer the tortures of the damned after a heavy meal. For hours, if not days, our body screams at us never to do this again. Yet we go on doing it. Are we unaware of our body’s rejections of the food? Not at all! If we examine our feelings as we gulp excess food, we do sense clear indication of nausea and repulsion. The message is there before we eat, as we eat and after we eat. But still we gorge ourselves.

Millions of us find it impossible to keep our weight down. Almost all of us can’t stop eating harmful foods. I would guess that three quarters of our population are uncontrolled goods or liquor freaks.

Ultimately our eating can only be dedicated by ourselves. Others may offer suggestions but only you and I can determine our food intake. Fad diets and outside advice are useless if they cause us to relinquish our self guidance. How often do we eat badly because we are not in touch with our needs; or even as an act of spite because we were denied the instinctual response to food in childhood and finally relinquished this right entirely?

It’s almost impossible to avoid all the food temptation around us. It takes Herculean effort to resist the advertising pressure by food manufactures, and the host or hostesses who would consider our refusal of food a lack of social courtesy. So we eat blindly.

Our bodies may demand that we quit eating or change our diet. Or even listen to the inner wisdom it’s telling us. But do we?

HEALING THE PAIN

We spend months theorizing over the problem, without ever taking a moment to look to the pain itself for guidance. Our amazing intuitive energy is constantly there, vibrating every second, a perfect servant urging is on showing us the way to avoid serious illness. To be attuned. The inner self demands a return to trust in our inner self. We attune to a problem before we become ill.

Fear of pain, fighting pain, anger at pain, ignoring or masking pain will distort your response to pain. You cannot be impatient with pain. You must allow whatever time is required to permit it to perform its function.

PAIN AWARENESS

1. Pain is a guide, not an enemy.
2. Pain tells you, you do not tell the pain.

The method by which we respond to pain is simply to feel it deeply and to respond to those feelings. We gradually induce the wisdom of the pain to automatically handle itself. Question yourself, what does your intuition say about your pain?

One suggestion when the pain message does not make itself readily apparent, it is helpful to intensify the pain mentally, in order to feel it more deeply.
Your inner heart. Your inner voice. Your inner mind. Your inner wisdom. They have the answer about your pain that you seek.

with gratitude,

How To Eat An Elephant

Tanya Cross on October 7, 2021

You know those people who do the unthinkable? They bite off more than they can chew and then they chew like Pac-man to make it happen? And it happens?!

I have two questions for you:

How do they actually do it? (Cause it’s usually not just a combination of hustle, skill and/or talent) and
Is that also YOUR best path to kicking goals this year?

We’re still surfing the New year enthusiasm wave right now.

But I’ll bet quietly (in the privacy of their vanity mirror) most people are packing their daks at the audacity of some of their goals.

My guidelines for goals are simple:

They should be one part scary and one (or more) parts inspiring.

That’s not a guarantee of a perfect goal, but it IS a reliable indicator of completion.

That’s what I call, “an elephant”.

Because it’s big and beautiful and majestic and usually a little terrifying in the wild. (Your big ol’ brain is the safari in this scenario.)

If you’ve ever tried leaping outside your comfort zone you probably know those feelings.

But what if the terrifying is more than just one part?

What do you do if you’ve set yourself the Big Daddy Elephant of the Herd version of your goal?

You need a strategy.

And for “eating” elephants… you nibble.

You start with something that feels (and IS) doable… and you build on top of it.

Eventually it snowballs into recognisable progress.

In last Sunday’s Soul School email we talked about delayed gratification. Reaching your dreams one step at a time.

This week’s lesson is about the SIZE of your steps.

SO…

If you feel like you’re biting off more than you can chew this year – or ever – whether launching a complex project, approaching a big name in your industry, finally tackling deep rooted baggage you’ve swept under the rug for decades, etc… then what’s the ONE next step you can take?

What’s your nibble for now?

That small bite you can tear off and chew like mad (and even if you stumble through it, the stakes are low enough you can stumble comfortably).

Because it’s true what they say:

You really can do ANYTHING. Even your very own Maximum Growth Goal.

The only pre-requisite is that you keep biting and chewing.

Sure, sometimes it might feel overwhelming.

But consistency is key. It builds more and more momentum over time.

So tell me – what are you working on?

Sidenote: writing it down and telling someone makes it real. And real is like focusing your binoculars on that elephant – you increase the probability you’ll do it.

I’m all about getting you to that next level.

With love,

Leadership Coach
Counsellor & Master Certified Demartini Method Facilitator
Maximum Growth: Private & Group Coaching Available

PS – no elephants were harmed in the making of this blog :)Tanya x

What’s Your Story?

Chocolates, Ping Pong And Keith Urban

5 Levels Of Leadership

5 Levels Of Leadership

LEVEL ONE: POSITION

LEVEL TWO: PERMISSION

LEVEL THREE: PRODUCTION

LEVEL FOUR: PEOPLE DEVELOPMENT

LEVEL FIVE: PINNACLE

Overwhelmed

For You, My Overthinker

Technically I Can Predict The Future (True Story)

Elon Musk

Elon Musk

Weird Tingling (Feels Like Pregnancy?)

The Brilliant Function Of Pain

The Brilliant Function Of Pain

WHAT IS PAIN?

DIET AND PAIN

HEALING THE PAIN

PAIN AWARENESS

How To Eat An Elephant

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