“I’m a failure, my business isn’t growing as fast as I wanted it to.”

**Deep sigh***

I hear this from new business owners a lot.

The mind’s primary role is to organize, manage and deal with information – information that already exists, that needs to be processed and new information.

But… “don’t believe everything you think.”

Many people function as if whatever is revealed in the canvas of their mind is actually real. They believe the negative self-talk, the doubt, the uncertainty, and take it as fact.

The mind, when untrained, has difficulty slowing down. The thoughts, debates, and conversations, just keep chasing themselves round and round like a dog chasing its own tail (think sleepless nights going over the same conversation outcome).

When the chatter in the mind takes over, they are drowned by the “many voices”. You can’t create the time and space to pause to hear the message from the “inner voice.”

If you don’t create space from all the mental noise, if you don’t train the mind, you react rather than respond.

The beautiful thing is, any rumination, any perceived negative thoughts in your mind is incomplete awareness trying to dissolve and resolve the emotional charge (thanks mind for doing it’s job).

One way to decrease the inner voices, decrease the brain is to ask how whatever the content of the distraction in your mind, is serving you until you see the perfection, and you feel there is nothing to change (we learn this tool in our Maximum Growth Mindset Classes every week – you’ll apply the Demartini Method week in week out, month in month out for huge transformation).

When you see the blessings, there isn’t anything you need to process, and your mind quietens.

Here, in the stillness, your inner voice, your soul’s guidance becomes clearer and more certain. AKA, better night’s sleep!

See you on the inside,

Leadership Coach

Counsellor & Master Certified Demartini Method Facilitator

Maximum Growth: Private & Group Coaching Available

How aware are you of the impact and influence you have on those you lead?

How aware are you of your inner world relative to your outer world when it comes to leadership and business?

It makes it much more difficult to lead others if you are not aware of how to lead yourself (blind leading the blind kind of dynamic). You are unaware and even oblivious of the deeper reason and meaning of why things happen and what you can do to shift the dynamic.

We have 4 different selves within us (this is adapted from The Johari Window Model).

The Open Self: You are aware of the parts (or traits, actions and inactions within you), you own it and openly show it to the world. You don’t hold back and feel freedom to express this part of yourself.

The Hidden Self: You are aware of the parts (or traits, actions and inactions within you) or past experiences and attempt to hide it from the world. This may consist of feelings, ambitions, dreams, opinions and past choices which you withheld from sharing out of fear of negative reaction.

Your hidden self is the part you are still judging in yourself (or traits, actions and inactions you have yet to own), and haven’t fully owned or embraced it within you. Once you trust another individual, you may choose to reveal some of your hidden self.

The Blind Self: You are unaware of the parts (or traits, actions and inactions within you) and don’t own it (or even disown it). The idea is to identify the blind spots (sometimes you need someone else to spot them for you) in your leadership and life then own it within you so that you can play hero and villain as a leader.

The Unknown Self: You are unaware of the parts (or traits, actions and inactions within you) and you don’t own, and no one is reflecting back to you. These can be subconscious charges that you’re unaware of such as early childhood memories and undiscovered talents.

You don’t know what you don’t know so don’t stress about what you don’t know to stress about. (Don’t worry about what you don’t know).

Self-awareness helps you to recognise your struggles and your strengths and continue to level up your leadership. You don’t have to hide your vulnerabilities, instead be open to exploring them with a mindset to grow.

It’s your struggles that create a growth ceiling on yourself and prevent you from levelling up.

You can only rise to the degree you are willing to work through your struggles.

If you don’t, over time this will cost a sense of not being your whole self. And that sucks.

What are you hiding from the world that you know if you cleared would help you level up as a leader?

In the Maximum Growth Business Membership, we had some beautiful reveals of our hidden selves. And then having the courage to Do. The. Work.

Practising self-awareness takes time and holding the mirror to yourself. It gets you to face parts of yourself that you might want to but when you do, a weight is lifted off your shoulders and you are (mentally) freer to leave a bigger legacy as fear is not holding you back.

See you on the inside,

 

Leadership Coach
Counsellor & Master Certified Demartini Method Facilitator
Maximum Growth: Private & Group Coaching Available

Bonnie turned 2 last month. This had come with a flooding of people saying “oh, this is when it gets really tough, they throw tantrums, get upset, refuse to do what you say, say no ALOT.”

So let’s talk about the terrible twos. No, let’s talk about human behaviour because let’s face it, even as adults we sometimes spit the dummy.

Emotions serve a purpose.

When you’re challenged with what you want, or what is important to you, you’ll find yourself using emotion as a strategy to get what you want. Or maybe using emotions as you don’t want to say what is on your mind, so crying says it for you.

And emotions can be amplified because of your environment.

When you’re in an environment where people are calm and centred, you feel it too.

Oh, do you remember the panic buying in the supermarkets last year? Just walking in there I wanted to buy EVERYTHING I didn’t need and 20 items of anything I did.

It leaves the question, when you’re upset and having a meltdown, how long do you stay in your emotional state, and when do you come back to centre? (or how long do you allow others to be emotional before you say – hey, time to work on it).

Here is the thing, sometimes you just need someone, like this guy, to be there for you. #holdthespace

There is a time and place for someone to hold this space for us, to allow us time to express ourselves and how we feel. To vent. (And it feels so good! I ain’t going to lie).

I have seen clients lose themselves in their business and lose themselves when their business has fallen apart and no longer exists. I have seen clients struggle with their niche and what service to offer the world. Even being slammed by the media for something that is not true and was worried business would slow down. #majormeltdown

They come because they are ready to process their emotions, to do the work and get back on track with fulfilling their vision.

I have witnessed some incredible transformations in people from doing internal work on themselves (think disgusting habits stopping, affection starting again in a relationship, aggression from the other party calming, and people calling again after having a strained relationship).

This is the paradox we have to grapple as a leader.

When to feel through it and when to work on it.

It’s tough as there is no prescription that tells you what to do. I wish I had the answer but I don’t. Only you will know.

Next time you have a moment, you want to throw all your toys out of the cot, check-in with yourself to see if you are really “feeling the full force of the emotions” and “when will you be ready to work on it.”

See you on the inside,

 

Leadership Coach
Counsellor & Master Certified Demartini Method Facilitator
Maximum Growth: Private & Group Coaching Available

After spending a long weekend with my family, I hugged my Mum goodbye and for the first time in my entire life, she cried in my arms (you know the sobbing that makes your whole body shake kind of cry).

Wrapping my arms tighter around her small frame I asked “What is hurting in your heart?”

She replies, “I don’t know how much time I have left here. And if I’ll get to see everyone again.”

Death is confronting.

There was a period of time where death seemed to be creeping into our home more and more. My father had been sick on and off for years with major illnesses, surgeries, he and our family had faced death or the fear of death many times.

My parents, each visit or phone call would want to talk about their death with my sister, brother and me.

They’re prepared, a funeral prayer book is written, hymns are decided, a financial plan arranged, the works.

Now, it’s my mum’s turn to feel her mortality like something is creeping over her as she lives, slowly ready to take her at any moment.

Death is confronting as it makes you face your life.

While flying home (and in between Bonnie crawling all over me between seats to get the best view) I reflected on my future when I am in my 80’s and what I would love my life to be, what would I love to have created and what mark do I want to leave on the world (I know for sure it isn’t ticking off every Netflix series).

My Mum has been my greatest teacher and has taught me to not only walk a spiritual path but be prepared to dedicate your life to a cause and a mission that is serving humanity.

Everyone has a mission, a purpose on earth. Some people take 50 years to awaken to it, others know it as a child. It doesn’t matter when you find and follow it, it matters to keep following your inner knowing for that divine calling as it has more wisdom than you can intellectualise.

It isn’t about comparing yourself to others (that’ll shut it down quickly).

It isn’t about following someone else’s calling (that’s Killing Me Softly)

It isn’t about thinking with your head about your mission is (off with their heads – Thanks Queen of Hearts).

Let me bring it home with a little wisdom from Abraham Lincoln I shared a few weeks ago and it is perfect here again, “I’m not bound to win, I’m bound to be true. I’m not bound to succeed, I’m bound to live up to the light within me.”

And you are.

You have a light to shine on the world.

No. Let me re-say that you have a unique light to shine on the world, that only you can do.

In the Maximum Growth Business Membership, we have finished a block of classes on unpacking and revealing a Philosophia for life.

This process has been so deeply moving that each session (and for those that watched the recordings) had rolling goosebumps and tears, and saw their vision for their life right in front of them.

Their certainty in their own path, their own purpose, their meaningful mission grew. A spark ignited for some, for others it burned brighter.

And all from 5 hours of retrospection, introspection, prospection (that’s looking forward in time).

Everyone has a unique mission to share with the world (or a group of people in a little corner of the internet).

Only you can know it (I have some quality questions to ask to reveal it).

What’s five hours of time to dedicate to awaken something powerful within yourself that creates your life to be more meaningful?

Not much.

If you are interested in joining (or upgrading) to the Maximum Growth Business Membership, come and join us every week to help you to create a living, life and legacy you love.

Check out more details here.

See you on the inside,

 

Leadership Coach
Counsellor & Master Certified Demartini Method Facilitator

In the Mindset Class last week, one of our MG Members, Danny shared he wanted to embrace criticism. We’ve all been there at one stage or another.

I reflected on who I perceived to do this well, and hands down it’s Donald Trump. He could be composed and continue about his business while receiving intense criticism.

Trump was fascinating to watch. I’ve racked my brain and I can’t think of a more transparent global demonstration of human behaviour from the last decade than when Trump was president.

His behaviour was a perfect example of the play of universal principles.

So, let’s go down the rabbit hole and have a chance to fine-tune your universal principle preceptors at a global scale by reviewing Trump’s term as president.

Law Of Equilibrium

The more self-righteous Trump became, the more the universe tried to bring him back down.

We saw this when Pennsylvania immediately threw out of court his bid to stop counting the votes. (A blow to his ego and public image.)

If he played within the rule-book with a more balanced perspective, maybe he’d be able to make a stronger case (one aligned with democratic proceedings that would get consideration in court.)

Intuitively I’d say he may have been cocky about winning. That’s a factor in why the tides turned towards Biden’s favour. And he’s less public now. Sometimes we hide when we are faced with a publicly humbling circumstance (have you been there {Name}?).

LESSON: If you don’t govern your inner world, expect the outer world to govern you.

Law of Reflection and Transparency (Column 2&9 if you’re a fellow Demartini Method nerd)

Often you would hear Trump talk about fake news, dishonesty, being a phoney, part of the campaign to win the election was about Hillary Clinton being crooked.

What is interesting is that, as of Trump’s 100th day in office, there were 492 false or misleading claims (fact check here).

It’s a great reminder that you don’t see the world as it is, you see it as you are. The world is your mirror.

LESSON: Your emotional charges show how you perceive the world and are revealed in your language.

You can also learn alot from someone else, when you listen to what they say. If they say “you’re hiding something” it is more likely they have hidden something and feel guilt about it, and perceiving it in you.

Law Of Perceived Value

Trump had done so well at communicating in the Republicans’ values (whether you agree with his stance or not) that they’re moved to action from voting for him a little over 4 years ago and going to Capitol Hill in December.

He doesn’t need evidence or facts to mobilise his followers when he uses their language, when he speaks to what is important to them.

Like it or not, that’s a key trait of a powerful leader: knowing and talking to your people. This is also why this is the largest voter turnout in the history of the US – both candidates have spoken to inspire (their people) or polarise the masses (as not everyone values what the leader stands for).

LESSON: No matter what level you play at, you’ll have your haters (waving to my haters now wave????????).

Law Of Lesser Pissers

I personally love the Law Of Lesser Pissers.

Being pissed off is conserved. Too often we want to play Mr Nice Guy/The Good Girl, and we sacrifice ourselves and what we want to please the outside world. But internally, we build up resentment, to the point of pissing ourselves off for not doing what we wanted (ouch).

LESSON: No matter what, in some circumstances, someone will be pissed off. Who would you rather it be? You? Or them?

Now take a moment to see these Universal Principles in your own life.

Examine the Universal Principles at work… and you see a bigger, brighter and beautiful whole story unfold.

With universal love and wisdom,

 

Leadership Coach

Counsellor & Master Certified Demartini Method Facilitator

Zero to 100 in 1 second.

That’s how fast I found myself fuming! (that’s faster than a lamborghini BTW).

No one can make us feel anything except your perceptions of your experience creates how you feel. It is the realization that you are the only person who can be responsible for your feelings and your reactions and thus your fulfillment.

But it is not that easy.

When you are living unconsciously, what someone says or does can “trigger” a reaction within you. If you are not conscious of what is happening, you will react as if the other person is doing something to you, when in fact it is you who are doing the doing.

When you are living consciously, you become responsible for yourself, your experience and your actions.

You seek maximum growth within yourself and are less prone to reaction (and it still will happen – you can’t escape it).

True liberation starts by taking responsibility for your own actions (and of course, your reactions), and instead of laying blame elsewhere, choosing to have full thinking, full awareness of your experience, seeing how the struggle, the challenge is serving.

So you’re probably wondering what got my all fired up?

I have booked 4 days next week to see my family in Melbourne. We are all flying in to spend time in the nest. Poppy has prepared the menu, rooms are ready for us to arrive (thanks Nana!) and I have been explaining to Bonnie we are going to (finally) see everyone.

But, there has been 1 case of ‘rona in Sydney (no, I did not leave any zero’s off that number). Now the news is reporting the next two weeks will be critical.

Fuming. For a second. Ridiculous. F**king Idiots (and a lot of head shaking).

Then, my training of asking quality questions and applying quality answers using the Demartini Method come into play.

I want to make sure if we couldn’t fly, I am adaptable, and flexible. So I ask myself how would it serve Bonnie, myself and my family to not go to Melbourne next week?

I dissolve any attachment (and excitement) in going, ground myself and become grateful at the possibility.

If we hold onto baggage, it costs us greatly. It costs time thinking about it, energy talking about it, it can even be all consuming.

When you look inward and self-reflect on your part of the dynamic, you find deeper meaning and understanding in your situation. You find the ‘why’, the reason it has unfolded in this way, at this time for you. Then, when you change the way you look at things, the things you look at change.

Gold Nugget Of Wisdom: the quality of your life is determined by the quality of questions you ask and the quality of answers you provide.

Tanya “owning my name” Cross x

 

Leadership Coach

Counsellor & Master Certified Demartini Method Facilitator

It can be a hard pill to swallow.

The resentment for the decisions you made that led to the demise, the public shame, how to face the world again? Can you relate?

Michael Jordan experienced a significant failure and he locked himself in his room to cry (oh thats me last week).

Oprah Winfrey was not given any job because she was deemed to be ineligible for television work.

Walt Disney experienced a significant failure as he was denied a job in the newspaper agency.

Yet Micheal never let his failure get to him and with practice and hard work, he became an NBA champion. Oprah never really gave up and through hard work, she became the most influential woman in the whole world and was recognised for her hard work. Walt Disney never gave up and is recognised as one of the most influential creators to have lived.

Success is not a smooth upward path without any type of bump in the road or dip in your spirits.

Actually, it is the opposite, it can be at times tough and you’ll experience some significant hurdles as you attempt to reach what you call your success.

Flashback to 2006, I was at university studying a Bachelor of Applied Social Science, majoring in crisis counselling.

I knew in my heart that I wanted to help people and felt I was on path and purpose. The form I was still unsure of, but certain of the counselling field.

We were required in Counselling Skills 1 subject to film ourselves doing a 1 hour session with a client. My friend, Kerrie, offered to be my client and film a session.

We set up two chairs in the living room of her home, camera poise and we started our session. I asked, “what would you like to work on?” She shared her mother committed suicide when she was 10 and she was struggling now she had a young child.

This is my first ever session I have ever done. I sat back in my chair thinking “what the hell do I do here?!” My first problem to solve and it is huge.

Safe to say it is a train wreck. I didn’t solve any of her challenges, and I am certain I left her worse off than we started.

I thought that was the purpose of university, to learn from your mistakes so I wrote about my learnings and what I discovered, what I would have done differently. But it wasn’t enough.

I opened the attachment in the email for my results. There, right next to Counselling Skills 1 it says ‘Failed.’

My heart sank.

“I’m a failure” ran through my head.

My heart shattered.

I failed at the very thing I want to create my career around. How am I going to create something for myself if I am a failure. Thoughts swirled, “maybe this is a sign to stop. And not keep on going.”

Well, you know happened. I persevered and make it my profession and my life.

Here is what I learned.

You see failure can feel like the end when it is completely not.

So when you hear no, it is no from that individual, for now, but not no forever, from all people.

In order to achieve your goals and accomplish your dreams, you require the strength to pick yourself back up again after you fall regardless of what the outer world says or does. They don’t know your inner world like you do. They don’t know what is important to you and why it is so meaningful.

Failure is not fatal, nor is it final. Failure is not something absolute, but an opportunity for growth, learning, rising to the challenge. Setbacks are meant to offer insights into how to step forward.

And it is all a matter of perspective. Change the questions you ask, change your perspective, change your life.

What failure have you had that has become your greatest success story?

Warm fuzzy squeezes,

 

PS – If you’d love maximum growth and guidance in dissolving your stuff, weekly help with me is right here.

How often do you think about yourself?

Research shows that most of our time is spent thinking about someone or something else. Psychologists believe people actually avoid thinking about themselves. We dislike facing our own adequacies.

For the same reason, many of us avoid talking about ourselves, viewing ourselves in the mirror, or being photographed. It’s too uncomfortable.

The following experiment was conducted to show how increased self-awareness can affect our behaviour.

During Halloween, children played trick or treat, who turned up at one researcher’s door and were told to help themselves to one sweet from the bowl.

Children who were believed to be unobserved took 34% more sweets. The researcher then placed a full-length mirror behind the bowl and only 12% of subsequent children took more sweets.

The mirror reinforced the children’s sense of self-awareness.

To avoid confronting the inadequacies, some people prefer to withdraw from a situation often by getting drunk, scrolling aimlessly through social media or Numflixing it (I just make that up. Think it will catch on {first_name}?).

These activities reduce your level of self-awareness making feelings and events temporary more bearable.

But it’s an illusion.

Whatever you run from (or hide from in this case) is still running and active in your system. It’s only that you’re avoiding the inevitable. Whatever is painful, pushing your button will still be there when you come back.

It doesn’t go away.

If you find yourself withdrawing as a strategy, consider standing in front of a mirror, look yourself in the eyes and say “hiding from the world does not serve. There is nothing that my mortal self can’t experience that my immortal self can’t love.”

Here at Maximum Growth, we are helping you to face the tough issues, to hold your hand when you need to, to create the time and space to apply the work.

Just ask Shani, one of our Maximum Growth Members who courageously faced her stuff in class this week and how much she helped others to do the same.

We have a beautiful community to surround you with you go on the journey within you.

Here’s to looking in the mirror {first_name},

With love,

 

Leadership Coach
Counsellor & Master Certified Demartini Method Facilitator

Did you know that every problem already has a solution whether you know it or not?

I’m not kidding.

Just ask for the answer to be revealed to you.

Now, this isn’t some hippy woo-woo thinking. I’ve used it with clients and myself for years and what is revealed is deeply profound.

While I invested my time walking the Camino in Spain 5 years ago, I spent a lot of time working on my deeper challenges and issues. Childhood stuff.

Towards the end of the walk I still felt a little lost in my purpose and where I was going.

I decided to walk the Camino Primitive, extra 100km and I asked the universe to reveal to me what my path and purpose was​ (and as clear daylight so I couldn’t mistake it for something else).

On the first night I found myself alone, with no other pilgrims the entire walk. I felt something jarring inside me that this wasn’t the path I needed to be on (It’s hard to describe but easy to recognise). I knew I needed to be with people. I had spent so long being on my own in life, and it was time to be with others.

Instead, I did something that was un-Camino like but I listened to and I caught a cab back to the Camino Francis (that’s the main walk) and started the last 100km from there.

That night, I met a group of 8 walkers and we became instant friends.

The older man in the group had decided the day before to become a counsellor (Hmm. Interesting universe). The next day we walked and talked for hours. I helped him have a deeply profound transformation about his purpose and mission that he told everyone that evening to spend time walking with me.

The next day, the younger one of the group asked to walk together. His heart was heavy because his friend had died in his arms. I helped him to feel that it was an honor to spend the last moments with his friend before he died and how much a gift to be with him so he was not alone as he passed.

I had in depth discussions on life with every person I met. It was crystal clear my journey as a counsellor, coach and consultant and that I couldn’t hide from what I am here to do.

So {first_name}, try it for yourself. Make sure you have a clear question to ask the universe. What clarity are you seeking? What question would you like answered?

Make sure you have a clear question to the universe, then be open to what answers you’ll receive.

Hit reply and share with me what is revealed to you.

With gold nuggets of wisdom,

Tanya x

Leadership Coach

Counsellor & Master Certified Demartini Method Facilitator

Maximum Growth: Private & Group Coaching Available

P.S. If you haven’t heard, I am running a Walkshop in Sydney, walking from Bondi Beach to Barrenjoey lighthouse (130Km) over 5 days. It is only for 3 places left. Click here to find out more.

I’ve noticed most common to people in the personal development world is they value learning. They soak up learning, and sometimes keep jamming in more learning (sometimes to a point of being overwhelmed).

Learning is great. It can make you feel like you are growing and going somewhere.

There are times when what we are learning isn’t beneficial. For instance, how much of what you have acquired over the years is aligned with the laws by which the whole universe works? Very little, right?

Growing up in a Catholic household, I was taught to be kind, generous, giving, and to be respectful of others. But these qualities are subjective to everyone. The government perceives themselves to be looking after it’s people by closing borders and having a hard lockdown, whereas some people think it’s not.

There are only a specific number of people or individuals who learn the laws of the universe and live their life accordingly. There are only a few Students of Wisdom, willing to unlearn what they have been taught and relearn a new way of experiencing the world.

Alvin Toffler, a writer and futurist believed most illiterate individuals of the twenty-first century will actually not be the ones who cannot properly write or read but who can’t relearn, unlearn, and relearn. #anothergoldnuggetofwisdom

Rather than obtaining more information (and misinformation) maybe what is required is time for unlearning and relearning a new way and method of thinking.

A new way of thinking leads to a new way of being. #anothergoldnuggetofwisdom

In our Mindset Classes at Maximum Growth we teach you the foundations of these laws of the universe, quality questions and quality answers to learn a new framework for living. Once the framework has been laid (and this takes time), then when you learn something new, you can ask yourself is this aligned with universal laws?

With gratitude and gold nuggets of wisdom,

 

Leadership Coach

Counsellor & Master Certified Demartini Method Facilitator