There’s a hierarchy of emotional charges within us.

Think of it as a barometer of your perceptions (or misperceptions) of the world around you.

Sad, depressed, despondent.
Annoyed, pissed off, f**king hell.
Dislike, despise, hate.
Grumpy, annoyed, angry.
Glad, happy, excited.
Like, infatuated, …
You get the picture.

Let’s unchecked and unresolved can build up inside that become bigger than Ben-Hur (yes, I was dragged to watch this epic movie at the Astor Theatre in Melbourne as a child).

Then, week in week out, month in month out, year in year out we are building charges that are mounting on top of us, building inside and we become like a landmine waiting to explode.

Your tolerance levels become less, your ability to manage yourself decreases, and when someone says “Hey, you didn’t (insert unloved statement here)’ and all the unloved baggage comes exploding to the surfaces AND comes down on them like a ton of bricks.

Do you know what I mean?!

Charges build up because of the stories we tell ourselves (great article on stories from a Professor of Sociology here. The punchline: we tell somewhat different stories to different people).

What is a typical story you tell yourself when you feel overwhelmed? ‘I’ll never get this done!’ ‘I can’t do this anymore!’ ‘This is too much to handle.’ Then you’re told to spend more time doing something you don’t understand and you’re told it’s essential to the make or break of your business, and bam – overwhelm moves to meltdown.

Or when you’re upset with your spouse because they aren’t prioritizing your relationship, they have shut down and are uncommunicative then they don’t put the bin liner in property and you put the kids leftover food in the bin and it falls off – and bam just pissed off is now f**king hell.

The interesting part about these stories is that they are just thoughts and thoughts are perceptions – and our perceptions are misperceptions. And thank god we have feelings because they are our best feedback mechanism to inform us of how off centre we are about the world around and within us.

If you think that it’s not possible to transform dynamics, people, experiences and your feelings, then this my friends is a time to step back. Its time to reflect and stop pushing those uncomfortable feelings down, saying ‘I’ll deal with it later’ or just plain ignoring them.

Remember that emotions cost.

• When you’re sad, that has a ripple effect to how you show up in business and influences potential clients or customers
• When you’re infatuated with a new client, it can attract resentment towards another old client
• When you’re beating yourself down for a financial ‘mistake’ and you’re head isn’t in work, you struggle with strategic planning and setting inspiring goals

And repressed emotions cost in life, it can affect not only your mind but your body too.

What is even more beautiful is that emotions are revealing of your inner world thinking.

• Anger: an unmet unrealistic expectation
• Excitement: seeing one side, all the positives and being blind to the downside
• Jealousy: the perception that someone else has something you aren’t perceiving within yourself
• Hurt: judgment of someone’s actions that then causes you to feel hurt
• Depressed: comparing your past/someone else’s life and yours don’t match the ideal

I could go on. Your feelings are feedback to give you a glimpse into the psyche of your mind.

And if you don’t make conscious choices to balance your misperceptions, then someone else will have to do it for you (that is, when you’re not dealing with issues, expect the world to force you to deal with them. #lovinguniverse).

The thing that makes a difference in how we feel or what happens is the quality of our questions and the quality of our answers. Asking quality questions helps to shift your perspective to get you back into balance, and you’ll be more governed by how you choose to react with them.

Life is for you to decide.

And life can be transformed with just one question. Feelings can fade (and completely dissolve) with a handful of meaningful answers.

We too often forget we are the captain of our soul and the master of our destiny. And that small effort done consistently is where we see massive results.

So what if you did the small repeated efforts of answering one quality question every day to dissolve a dynamic and have more gratitude to help you reset and get back on track to growing your business, leadership and life?

Kind of like thinking if you go to the gym once a year, it will get you a rocking hot body?!

I think not.

Then how to be self-governed, dissolving emotions if we don’t practice it every week?

That’s wanting the results with the work that wasn’t done (#realityslap).

Or it is expecting (unrealistically mind you) that people ‘should’ be kinder, more understanding, do what you ask the first time.

One of the objectives at Maximum Growth is to learn to apply the Demartini Method to dissolve emotions and get you back on track again (not to mention getting you a serious ROI on your self-education).

And that is why we have weekly classes for you, so week in week out, month in, month out, to change your questions, change your answers, and change your life. Click on the link to find out more (and if you’re already in the community – keep up the great (inner) work).

You see, I envision a world in which leaders growing themselves to grow their business, who are embracing inspiring challenges that serve humanity, and managing greater levels of accountability and responsibility, where leaders continually level up.

And that’s about changing the mental monologue in your mind, dealing with the hierarchy of emotional charge within us.

Come and get a boss level mind makeover in class.

With love and gratitude,

 

Leadership Coach & Master Certified Demartini Method Facilitator
BAppSoSc (Counselling)
Maximum Growth: One on One & Group Coaching Available

“I find myself having nothing to say. I don’t know what to talk to people about. I don’t know what to post on social media. I have nothing to say.”

Ever felt that way {first_name}?

The first response is what I want to say, or the difficulty in finding a meaningful thought to share with the world rather than the problem behind the problem of why you felt that way in the first place.

Too often, when we’re faced with something difficult, perhaps business is going down, challenges in work dynamics, or even uncertainty in the future, and we look to the immediate problem as the priority.

Yes, there are some immediate things we can do to solve a problem like strategies Forbes offered this article (and that’s great if you want the one-sided positive thinking and #warmfuzzyfeelings, which are only a temporary fix).​

But what if there was a deeper, more pressing issue that you’re not seeing.

For example, you’re walking with a limp, and you focus on the limp (ouch, that’s painful) without realising you have a blister on your right foot that’s grown to the size of Tasmania, creating the limp – get my point.

So take a moment and peek behind the curtains to see what I call the problem is behind the problem. (Go on, you might be fascinated with what you find.)

Here are some examples:

Client 1:

Immediate Problem: “I find myself having nothing to say. I don’t know what to talk to people about. I don’t know what to post on social media, I have nothing to say.” (this is what a client said on Sunday evening to me).

Problem Behind The Problem: “I’m depressed, down, and I don’t want to show up that way, and that is because I have unrealistic expectations of myself to be a certain type of way in public, and that is hard work, so it is easier to say nothing.”

Demartini Method Solution: The highest priority action step you can take is to list how you are ‘supposed’ to show up in public? What are the drawbacks of each item on your list? Keep asking yourself until you now perceive equal drawbacks to the benefits of demonstrating that to the world to yourself and others. Ie. “I have to be happy and bubbly.” Drawbacks are fake, not realistic, not how I feel sometimes, as some examples.

(p.s. Just in case you haven’t heard, the Demartini Method was created by Dr. John Demartini (founder of the Demartini Institute) and is presented in his signature program, The Breakthrough Experience. It’s a systematic procedure and personal transformation methodology as an effective means to solving problems and dissolving emotions).

Client 2:

Immediate Problem: “I want to grow my finances but I keep having challenges with the few clients I do have and they are not paying their invoices and this creates extreme anxieties.”

Problem Behind The Problem: “I don’t deserve to keep the money I earn.”

Demartini Method Solution: The highest priority action step you can take is to list all the things you have done that make you feel undeserving of money. What are the benefits of each item on your list? Keep asking yourself until you now perceive equal benefits to drawbacks to yourself and others. Ie. “I borrowed money from a friend and never paid it back.” Benefits to them are … and check out last week’s blog on finances to get you thinking.

Client 3:

Immediate Problem: “I’m having challenges in my relationship, we argue ALOT, and it is taking my mind off of business.”

Problem Behind The Problem: “I’m definitely infatuated with business and business growth. I love what I do and most of my energy goes there.”

Demartini Method Solution: The highest priority action step you can take is to take work off the pedestal to bring the relationship out of the pit. What are the drawbacks of putting a lot of my focus at work? What are the drawbacks of work? Until you know you are certain there are drawbacks and benefits to working and being focused on work.

No, there’s not always, every time, at every moment a deeper underlying issue (we don’t defy universal laws with ‘always’ peeps), but it pays to dig a little deeper. The reason is that you can dissolve surface tension but if the blister on your foot is not addressed, then the problem may continue to rear its head again.

It is possible to have a deep breakthrough experience by going deeper.

So take a moment now,

pause, take a breath, and think of one challenge you face in business, in leadership or life, and do some digging.

What is really going on? Is the inverse of what you’re wanting creating the current challenge? Is it related to your family dynamic? Have you seen this pattern before in another area of life?

Notice what you notice. What did you uncover? I’d love to hear from you {first_name}.

If you want to shift low self-esteem, depression, lacking clarity in your vision, any problem you are faced with, then there is a determined series of mental questions that can help you to perceive a greater intelligence to your experience and see a bigger purpose in life. You’ll see the real truth of our nature hidden in the problem behind the problem.

So take the time to seek a deeper solution by finding the problem behind the problem. And if you want to geek out and apply the Demartini Method with a Master Certified Demartini Method Facilitator, then come join Maximum Growth, a community of other leaders with a bigger purpose and use this powerful process to create an impact and income that is meaningful.

See you on the inside,

 

Leadership Coach & Master Certified Demartini Method Facilitator
BAppSoSc (Counselling)
Maximum Growth: One on One & Group Coaching Available

P.S. Little plug for Dr John Demartinis signature program Breakthrough Experience. If you are looking at the deeper psychology behind the Demartini Method, how to dissolve positive thinking ( because that is what creates negative experiences) and just more of Dr Demartni’s teachings, then Dr. Demartini’s legendary Breakthrough Experience (Saturday morning session is worth it in itself).

One thing that is clear in my mind is that I was not prepared for life. At 18, I moved two states away from my family and lacked an understanding of what adulting was all about.

Shortly after venturing out into the world on my own, I was in the kitchen with some eggs in hand, water on the stove, and had no idea what to do (pre Google days peeps!). I rang my sister, “Tash, how do I boil an egg?”

(yes, I hang my head in shame. . .)

If I couldn’t even feed myself, how the hell was I supposed to manage my money, let alone grow it?

Yes, I left school and transitioned into the school of hard knocks (and some severe uppercuts). It wasn’t long before I had no income, no money in my account and was going to the Salvation Army for food and essentials to survive.

My thoughts were a hand to mouth money mindset and having a millionaire mindset didn’t even cross my mind.

It wasn’t until I read the One Minute Millionaire, and aimed to be a millionaire, that it destroyed my finances. Let me explain {first_name}.

You might be surprised to know that many people who have earned millions of dollars during their entire working life end up spending all their money and have very little savings. Some have chosen a lifestyle now over savings for the future.

Let’s break it down;

If you earned, on average, $100,000 per year over a 30-year period, that’s $3,000,000. And that is being conservative, as most people earn more money every year, and their income tends to rise as their level of expertise grows.

If you started with $100,000 in savings and added $10,000 to saving each year, with a 6% return over 30 years, you’re looking at $1,467,038.

See, a millionaire’s mindset destroys your financial future.

Millionaire status is easy to achieve and with little risk and investing. And you set the bar too low.

I, like many other people, was never taught how to think about money, nor even believe what could be possible.

Currently in Australia,

More than average wealth looks like this:
Median net worth: $558,800
Money in the bank: $30,800
Value of shares: $3800
Value of private trust: $1,300
Value of super fund: $112,900
Average Weekly Income Before-tax: $2,216

Less than average wealth
Median net worth: $31,500
Money in the bank: $6,500
Value of shares: N/A
Value of private trust: N/A
Value of super fund: $17,200
Average Weekly Income Before-tax: $1,260

Geek out here or if you want a broader view according to your own generation, check this out.

This isn’t to get comparisonitis {first_name}, it is to see it is collective thinking about money that influences people’s net worth. And something has to change.

And change has to start within you first.

So here are my top three tips to apply today to help you to shift your money mindset;

1. You can earn all the money in the world, but if you don’t believe you deserve it, you ain’t keeping it, my friend. Deserve isn’t something you spontaneously feel or don’t feel, it can be created by shifting your internal thinking. So let’s start with a dirty laundry list. Make a long list of everything you feel shameful or guilty about, either what you have done or not done, whether it is public or private. When you have the list, start working away on this by asking yourself the Demartini Method question in Column 10 and Column 14, which is about the benefits of what happened to you and others (column 10), and the drawbacks to you and others if it had been the opposite way (column 14). An example is me finding the benefits to myself of not knowing how to cook an egg at 18, and the drawbacks if I did know to dissolve the shame and love myself for what I didn’t know. It is powerful to appreciate what happened and dissolve your misperceptions. As you dissolve shame and guilt, you’ll notice an increase in your deserve levels.
2. Most financial experts recommend saving up to six months worth of living expenses in a savings account in case you need it immediately to take care of a job loss or other emergency. In addition to an emergency fund, this doesn’t include setting aside the money you may need to send your children to university or college, holidays or medical expenses. Create a separate account for your emergency fund so that you have security if something happens, you can ride it out. The benefit in your mind is that you aren’t stressed about money and live week to week, but have a cushion behind you just in case you fall (your butt will thank you for the soft landing when you’ve kicked your butt into gear and saved this money).
3. Now, let’s get down to business, it’s time for you to awaken the light within and set a stretch goal for your finances. Think about what you’d love to achieve in a lifetime, and stretch it, make it uncomfortable but not unbelievable. And come back every year and adjust it accordingly.

 

Believe. Conceive. Achieve.

It starts on the inside of you {first_name}.

And remember, you’re born to live up to the light within you. And maybe that is bigger than you ever thought possible.

See you on the inside,

 

Leadership Coach
Counsellor & Master Certified Demartini Method Facilitator
Maximum Growth: Private & Group Coaching Available

Ever felt like a fraud? That you don’t know enough and are less of an expert than others perceive you to be?

In 62 studies, with over 14,161 participants, the prevalence rates of impostor syndrome varied widely from 9% to 82% largely depending on the screening tool and cutoff used to assess the symptoms. You can geek out on the stats here.

What was discovered was, Impostor Syndrome was common among both men and women and across a range of age groups (adolescents to late-stage professionals). Impostor syndrome is often linked with depression and anxiety and is associated with impaired job performance, job satisfaction, and burnout. (And that’s because how we view ourselves has a ripple effect on all other aspects of our life.)

Impostor Syndrome is also seen in people who challenge themselves, like CEOs and entrepreneurs, who find themselves with a feeling of being fraud or fake since they’re in a state of ongoing growth and discomfort.

I hear this with new business owners who are learning a new skill AND building a business who are driving changes in their business strategy, shifting their services or ideal target clients. Thoughts in their heads say “you’ll never be able to do this!” or “how can you charge money for something you have not yet mastered yourself?”

Now, no matter where you’re at in your career, most people have felt this way on the journey. I felt this when I was at the beginning of my journey as a Demartini Method Facilitator. I thought, ‘why would people listen to me, and what I have to say?’ and I even felt I didn’t have anything important to say anyway.

The imposter mindset is demonstrated by feelings of inadequacy and insecurity, manifesting in the continual questioning of one’s own competence. It’s thinking you’re not intelligent enough to do the work, you’re not an expert and you worry people will eventually find out how much you don’t know and see straight through you, like being caught with your pants down kind-of-moment.

(Oh!!! Flashback to my grade 3 end of year production where I’m wearing a cowgirl outfit in front of the entire school and I had a wardrobe malfunction, and my pants fell off – no imposter syndrome there, only fully exposed and real).

Let’s go deeper with Imposter Syndrome because it is deeper than the thoughts you think, it is perfect feedback to let you know you’re not living up to the light within you. You’re slowly snuffing your own flame out. You’re slowly dying inside.

So let’s cover the top three impostor syndrome dynamics and more importantly, what to do to shift this sucker;

1. I am not a real expert.

When you say to yourself you’re not a real expert, you believe you don’t know enough. The void of not knowing is so great, that you minimise yourself, and, as a byproduct, play down what you do know.

Another definition of Imposter Syndrome is “a collection of feelings of inadequacy that persist even in the face of information that indicates that the opposite is true.”

You’re not seeing your wealth of wisdom within. You focus on the unknown information rather than the known information. You know more than you realise.

Gold Nugget Of Wisdom: Focus on what you do know while beavering away in the background mastering your skills and knowledge. Spending time with others who know more than you, soak up their wisdom while watching someone with a greater level of mastery. And it is the small steps, acted on repeatedly that will raise your expertise.

Apply The Demartini Method: Go to a moment you perceived yourself to not know enough. And ask this powerful question, how did it serve yourself (and anyone else who was there) that, in that moment, you didn’t know enough? (This is column 10 of the Demartini Method) Keep asking and answering until you are certain it was both a help and hinderance to you to not know enough.

2. People know more than me.

Yes, this is true. So untruths were detected there. People do know more than you and this is true at any level of knowledge.

Some people think that everyone else has something they don’t and that they are or won’t be at the same level. They’re not playing small and minimise what they know or don’t know but to people around them. They think of themselves as an impostor, not qualified to do anything but sit in the background and take notes.

The more you minimise yourself to others, the more you minimise to more people, the greater the imposter syndrome you’ll have as you’re squishing your own light and love to share with the world.

Gold Nugget Of Wisdom: Remember, you spot it, you got it! Yes, the world is your mirror. So ask yourself where and when you have displayed expertise or knowledge in the same or similar way as the people around you. And ask and answer this repeatedly until you wake up within your expertise. And watch yourself level up.

Apply The Demartini Method: Make a long list of everything you do know (this is column 12 of the Demartini Method) until you realise that you’re a freakin’ genius and have a lot fo share with the world.

3. I’ll be exposed as a fraud.

People with Impostor Syndrome think “who am I to do this?” and “Why would anyone listen to me?” They can feel like they stop themselves from trying something new in business for fear of being exposed as a fraud.

This is a deeper issue. It is not just about being exposed, but they’re also saying they don’t deserve success. It’s an internal sense of doubting their own ability, expertise and disbelieving they can be successful.

Now, what is interesting, if we go down the rabbit hole to find the problem under the problem, doubting their own ability can be because of two factors.

Overly high standards can lead to an inability to see and appreciate your expertise, leading to feeling more like a fraud and not deserving success.

Striving to be a perfectionist (the unrealistic one-sided perfection) leads people to feel disappointed and not acknowledge their successes, however small.

This, when left unchecked and unbalanced, over time can lead to more feelings of self-criticism and low self-esteem. Again, another ripple effect onto other areas of life because you then compare yourself more to others, which leads to greater imposter syndrome thoughts.

Gold Nugget Of Wisdom: I can’t go past this without bringing in universal law. When you attach to a one-sided world, it draws in the counterbalanced nightmare. When you want so desperately a one-sided world, you suffer more. If you attach to being an expert and knowing, if you must have what you deliver to your clients as perfect, no mistakes, no errors, then you’ll be living in a one-sided illusion. Look for the drawbacks of each of these until you crack the fantasy and pop the bubble.

Apply The Demartini Method: When you doubt your own ability, expertise and disbelieving you can be successful, more often than not there is an entangled fantasy of being ‘successful.’ You want to be seen as an expert in the field. Like everything, it has it’s downside too. To dissolve this dynamic, go to a moment you perceived yourself to not be an expert. Ask the question if in that moment you had perceived yourself as an expert, what would have been the drawback in that moment and from that moment onwards (this is column 14 of the Demartini Method. Crack any illusion that the opposite would have been better.

Time to shake off the shackles of your misperceptions, and remember you’re not bound to succeed, you’re bound to live up to the light within you.

Shine bright,

 

Leadership Coach & Master Certified Demartini Method Facilitator
BAppSoSc (Counselling)
Maximum Growth: Private & Group Coaching Available

27 year old me was so naive.

Allow me to set the scene for you:

I’m at this hole-in-the-wall Greek Restaurant called Estia’s with my sister Natasha and her friend. I’m feeling like Tanya 2.0 after a life-changing personal development seminar a few months before.

And Ella (the friend) shares with me that she has cancer.

She says it casually enough that I responded in my usual style – i.e. with helpful insight and without fluff:

“Cancer is caused by black and white thinking.”

Can tell you straight up: this is how you lose friends and influence no one. I doubt even Mary Poppin’s spoonful of sugar would have helped our dearest Ella swallow my life-advice pill.

She was shocked.

Natasha was eyes-bugging, splotchy red cheek mad at me. “How dare you speak to my friend like that??!! You have no idea how tough this is for her!!” (Shouty capitals and colourful word choices not included.)

I tell ya, {first_name}. We put on a show that Estia’s hosts could have charged for and Netflix would have turned into a mega hit drama.

Side note: Natasha and I never fought. I know this is extreme language but we never disagreed, raised our voices, cat scratched each other… our entire life.

I loved her (still do) and by this point I had realised that most of my friends just weren’t on the same page as me.

They just didn’t care about personal growth or other cool stuff that I did – like doing what you love and making moolah (AKA lots of money) from it. Or getting to talk about deep stuff and explore the mysteries of human behaviour and the universe. I hadn’t found another new circle where I could jive and nerd out on personal development stuff yet. Or even other people to help me understand this new perspective on life.

Even so, Natasha was one of the only people who I still loved hanging around.

We didn’t speak for months after our big fat greek cat fight. So of course I felt even more lonely and misunderstood.

Looking back, it was my own doing really. When I first started delving into personal development, I tried hard to stay connected with my old life.

But New And Expanded Tanya (with her growth mindset) didn’t fit in with the friendships I had before.

Turns out, casting your pearls of wisdom before your non-personal-development friends ask for them does not make a long-lasting relationship.

It does make life lonely though.

You can probably relate. You learn an insight that moves you and changes your life. You want to share that with the people you love, thinking they’ll be as profoundly shifted as you. But they don’t get it. Or they don’t care. Or worse, they think you’re attacking them. (I call upon the feta & olive Gods as witness to this fact.)

So people drop off. You drift from one friend circle to another but never really click. And it gets lonely, fast.

But the truth is, no matter how far along the journey you are, you’re going to grow faster than others. And at each new level, it gets harder to find people who think like you.

Expanded minds are rare, {first_name}. Especially if the only place you congregate is expensive seminars two or three times a year, like we all used to back in the day.

And The ‘Rona has influenced our ability to connect socially in the land of online seminars.

But fear not.

You have now found where the rest of us hang out. You’ve found your peeps!

So welcome to Maximum Growth Community.

Whether you are a member, a past member, a contemplating being a member or just on the sidelines, we have our Students of Wisdom Facebook group. Connect with other self-growers like you and come to a higher level of understanding together.

This group is a chance for you to share your thoughts, your presence and your wisdom (or just lurk and listen if that’s more your style.)

Consider this your invitation to the Greek Restaurant conversation that could have been.

I’d love to see you on the inside there and have your unique voice in the room, {first_name}.

And send this along to anyone who you think would make a great student of wisdom, too. If they’re like you, at all, they’re welcome in our world.

Can’t wait to dive into more deep discussions with you!

Have a beautiful week,

 

Leadership Coach
Counsellor & Master Certified Demartini Method Facilitator
Maximum Growth: Private & Group Coaching Available

PS – Margaret Mead famously said, “never underestimate the power of a small group of people to change the world. Indeed, it’s the only thing that ever has.” We are tiny but mighty together.

Have you heard the news?

Elon Musk is selling all his possessions in his plight to colonise Mars.

A billionaire, who could have anything he wants in the world, has decided to downsize, and sell his last remaining home, a 47-acre Bay Area estate, hits the market for $37.5 million.

He now rents a home close to SpaceX so he doesn’t have to travel so far to work (that’s kind of a beautiful balance of travel close and travel a distance).

Here is a photo of his rental, being upgraded.

So what’s the deeper message here? To give up all your worldly possessions and join his ship?

I think not.

Here are some gold nuggets of wisdom;

1. Focus on a meaningful mission that is not about the money (unless money is your top value, then go focus on money).
2. What are you prepared to give up to get in return for your mission? Because you can’t gain without a loss (and vice versa). This man is willing to give up any luxury, any worldly possessions for his mission? Maybe you don’t feel inspired to go down that path, but perhaps you might give up a social life, or holiday time to meet your objective.
3. I would say that he had a value shift, something has changed within him as he is reinvesting almost everything into business. But, on reflecting, this is his pattern. When he sold Paypal, he reinvested everything into Tesla and SpaceX. So it is not surprising that he has done this again. He has been tested in his mission. And it seems unstoppable.
4. The last gold nugget of wisdom is the most important one of all. You can never have a meaningful mission without truly knowing yourself. When you know yourself, you can create a message around what is meaningful to you. Knowing yourself comes through awareness of yourself.

To be aware of yourself you have to go deep into what makes you, you. Dogen Zenji, writer and philosopher said, ‘the study of self is the study of all things.’

This is why, week after week, month after month, now year after year we focus on applying the Demartini Method, to dissolve our disillusions and resolve our resentments to have a transcendent experience and listen to the deeper message from our soul.

And this is why you are willing to be persecuted for your mission because you’d rather listen to your soul than your senses (which is trying to be liked and approved by people).

Now it is time to ponder, what is your inspired message which you would love to share with the world?

Here’s to looking up to the stars and wondering this weekend

 

Leadership Coach
Counsellor & Master Certified Demartini Method Facilitator
Maximum Growth: Private & Group Coaching Available

“Save 10% of your income!”

Thanks to The Richest Man in Babylon for this mantra.

This is a great idea, but there is a caveat; if you’re in debt and have no savings it doesn’t make sense.

Here’s a scenario:

You’re in debt, and maxed your credit card out which you’re paying 19% interest on the balance of $1,000 (this is just a number for educational purposes).

You receive your monthly pay and you “save 10% of your income.” You put it into your savings account which will pay you less than 1% interest and at the end of one year you will have $1,010 BEFORE taxes.

Woot, earned $10… In. One. Year. ????

If you paid off your credit card, you would save yourself $190.

That’s a $180 difference.

Realize that by “investing” in your debt (by paying it off) you’re getting a guaranteed return on your money.

BUT, additional caveat here too; it isn’t just about paying off debt, it is about shifting your mindset that created the debt in the first place.

If not, you’ll find yourself working hard, paying off debt, and then finding yourself back in debt again thinking to yourself, how did this happen?! (on that wheel of Samsara again).

So here are three tips to shift debt (and the secret sauce is appreciation in many forms);

Tip 1# Appreciate your debt will help reduce your debt

Every decision you have made about your finances has been based on what you think will give you the greatest amount of reward over risk. You’ll only choose something if you know it will give you the best yield in your own hierarchy of values.

Resentment can build towards paying off debt, the emotional burden makes it harder and more difficult to pay back (or you might just not want to pay it back at all – and this piling on more guilt).

When you‘re grateful for the money you have borrowed it’s easier to not only generate the money to pay it all back but also to give it back.

Create appreciation for your debt by asking yourself what are the benefits of that debt until you are grateful for it. You’ll then be more likely to have a drive to pay it back (and less guilt on your shoulders too).

Tip 2# Buy what appreciates, not depreciates

People are in distress financially because of a lack of long term thinking and drawn into short term spending.

This was proven in the Marshmallow experiment in the 1960’s. Children were given two options, have one marshmallow now or wait a little longer and receive two.

The children who were willing to delay gratification and waited to receive their second marshmallow ended up having higher SAT scores, lower levels of substance abuse, lower likelihood of obesity, better responses to stress, better social skills as reported by their parents, and generally better scores in a range of other life measures. Oh and more money in their accounts.

The researchers followed each child for more than 40 years and over and over again, the group who waited patiently for the second marshmallow succeeded in whatever capacity they were measuring.

So, think about your last 5 purchases. Will they appreciate in value (or you have a mapped out plan to know how to recoup the investment? Or were they depreciating or just plain pleasurable purchases (AKA, you ate the first marshmallow and didn’t patiently wait)?

To build wealth, the idea is to buy less depreciating assets and obtain assets that will appreciate in value. Why? Because you are investing in your long term financial future. You’re less focused on the instant gratification, pleasure drug it, more self governed. But hey, you can’t do this unless you have mastered the next tip.

Tip 3# Appreciate wealth

Let me repeat the message from the number 1 tip, that every decision you have made about finances has been based on what you think will give you the greatest amount of reward over risk. You’ll only choose something if you know it will give you the best yield in your own hierarchy of values.

Therefore, we spend money on our highest values.

AND, we’re in debt according to our hierarchy of values.

Change your values, change your wealth potential. (delete (which means less likely to be in debt too).​

Any value you have that is ABOVE building wealth, saving and investing, growing finances you’ll spend your money on. So hence why, the lower it is, or if it is not on your list of priorities, then it is very difficult to grow wealth.

If you want to shift to increase your wealth potential, then ask yourself how does building wealth/saving and investing/growing finances (whatever statement is the best for you) serve each of your values.

Make links to each value so many times until you see a strong connection. You’re certain your values will be met when you focus on building wealth/saving and investing/growing finances.

Then, when debt has shifted and it now makes more sense to “save 10% of your income” then the next hurdle is to get comfortable with risk so you can grow your little honey pot.

So to wrap up this week in a nutshell, appreciate your debt, appreciate your wealth, buy assets which appreciate and you’ll appreciate yourself for it.

A truckload of appreciation to you for reading until the end,

 

Leadership Coach
Counsellor & Master Certified Demartini Method Facilitator
Maximum Growth: Private & Group Coaching Available

P.S. I’m not a financial advisor, I have jedi mind skills. Please do your research on your own figures to see what the best strategies are for your financial situation.

“I’m a failure, my business isn’t growing as fast as I wanted it to.”

**Deep sigh***

I hear this from new business owners a lot.

The mind’s primary role is to organize, manage and deal with information – information that already exists, that needs to be processed and new information.

But… “don’t believe everything you think.”

Many people function as if whatever is revealed in the canvas of their mind is actually real. They believe the negative self-talk, the doubt, the uncertainty, and take it as fact.

The mind, when untrained, has difficulty slowing down. The thoughts, debates, and conversations, just keep chasing themselves round and round like a dog chasing its own tail (think sleepless nights going over the same conversation outcome).

When the chatter in the mind takes over, they are drowned by the “many voices”. You can’t create the time and space to pause to hear the message from the “inner voice.”

If you don’t create space from all the mental noise, if you don’t train the mind, you react rather than respond.

The beautiful thing is, any rumination, any perceived negative thoughts in your mind is incomplete awareness trying to dissolve and resolve the emotional charge (thanks mind for doing it’s job).

One way to decrease the inner voices, decrease the brain is to ask how whatever the content of the distraction in your mind, is serving you until you see the perfection, and you feel there is nothing to change (we learn this tool in our Maximum Growth Mindset Classes every week – you’ll apply the Demartini Method week in week out, month in month out for huge transformation).

When you see the blessings, there isn’t anything you need to process, and your mind quietens.

Here, in the stillness, your inner voice, your soul’s guidance becomes clearer and more certain. AKA, better night’s sleep!

See you on the inside,

Leadership Coach

Counsellor & Master Certified Demartini Method Facilitator

Maximum Growth: Private & Group Coaching Available

How aware are you of the impact and influence you have on those you lead?

How aware are you of your inner world relative to your outer world when it comes to leadership and business?

It makes it much more difficult to lead others if you are not aware of how to lead yourself (blind leading the blind kind of dynamic). You are unaware and even oblivious of the deeper reason and meaning of why things happen and what you can do to shift the dynamic.

We have 4 different selves within us (this is adapted from The Johari Window Model).

The Open Self: You are aware of the parts (or traits, actions and inactions within you), you own it and openly show it to the world. You don’t hold back and feel freedom to express this part of yourself.

The Hidden Self: You are aware of the parts (or traits, actions and inactions within you) or past experiences and attempt to hide it from the world. This may consist of feelings, ambitions, dreams, opinions and past choices which you withheld from sharing out of fear of negative reaction.

Your hidden self is the part you are still judging in yourself (or traits, actions and inactions you have yet to own), and haven’t fully owned or embraced it within you. Once you trust another individual, you may choose to reveal some of your hidden self.

The Blind Self: You are unaware of the parts (or traits, actions and inactions within you) and don’t own it (or even disown it). The idea is to identify the blind spots (sometimes you need someone else to spot them for you) in your leadership and life then own it within you so that you can play hero and villain as a leader.

The Unknown Self: You are unaware of the parts (or traits, actions and inactions within you) and you don’t own, and no one is reflecting back to you. These can be subconscious charges that you’re unaware of such as early childhood memories and undiscovered talents.

You don’t know what you don’t know so don’t stress about what you don’t know to stress about. (Don’t worry about what you don’t know).

Self-awareness helps you to recognise your struggles and your strengths and continue to level up your leadership. You don’t have to hide your vulnerabilities, instead be open to exploring them with a mindset to grow.

It’s your struggles that create a growth ceiling on yourself and prevent you from levelling up.

You can only rise to the degree you are willing to work through your struggles.

If you don’t, over time this will cost a sense of not being your whole self. And that sucks.

What are you hiding from the world that you know if you cleared would help you level up as a leader?

In the Maximum Growth Business Membership, we had some beautiful reveals of our hidden selves. And then having the courage to Do. The. Work.

Practising self-awareness takes time and holding the mirror to yourself. It gets you to face parts of yourself that you might want to but when you do, a weight is lifted off your shoulders and you are (mentally) freer to leave a bigger legacy as fear is not holding you back.

See you on the inside,

 

Leadership Coach
Counsellor & Master Certified Demartini Method Facilitator
Maximum Growth: Private & Group Coaching Available

Bonnie turned 2 last month. This had come with a flooding of people saying “oh, this is when it gets really tough, they throw tantrums, get upset, refuse to do what you say, say no ALOT.”

So let’s talk about the terrible twos. No, let’s talk about human behaviour because let’s face it, even as adults we sometimes spit the dummy.

Emotions serve a purpose.

When you’re challenged with what you want, or what is important to you, you’ll find yourself using emotion as a strategy to get what you want. Or maybe using emotions as you don’t want to say what is on your mind, so crying says it for you.

And emotions can be amplified because of your environment.

When you’re in an environment where people are calm and centred, you feel it too.

Oh, do you remember the panic buying in the supermarkets last year? Just walking in there I wanted to buy EVERYTHING I didn’t need and 20 items of anything I did.

It leaves the question, when you’re upset and having a meltdown, how long do you stay in your emotional state, and when do you come back to centre? (or how long do you allow others to be emotional before you say – hey, time to work on it).

Here is the thing, sometimes you just need someone, like this guy, to be there for you. #holdthespace

There is a time and place for someone to hold this space for us, to allow us time to express ourselves and how we feel. To vent. (And it feels so good! I ain’t going to lie).

I have seen clients lose themselves in their business and lose themselves when their business has fallen apart and no longer exists. I have seen clients struggle with their niche and what service to offer the world. Even being slammed by the media for something that is not true and was worried business would slow down. #majormeltdown

They come because they are ready to process their emotions, to do the work and get back on track with fulfilling their vision.

I have witnessed some incredible transformations in people from doing internal work on themselves (think disgusting habits stopping, affection starting again in a relationship, aggression from the other party calming, and people calling again after having a strained relationship).

This is the paradox we have to grapple as a leader.

When to feel through it and when to work on it.

It’s tough as there is no prescription that tells you what to do. I wish I had the answer but I don’t. Only you will know.

Next time you have a moment, you want to throw all your toys out of the cot, check-in with yourself to see if you are really “feeling the full force of the emotions” and “when will you be ready to work on it.”

See you on the inside,

 

Leadership Coach
Counsellor & Master Certified Demartini Method Facilitator
Maximum Growth: Private & Group Coaching Available