Ever felt like a fraud? That you don’t know enough and are less of an expert than others perceive you to be?

In 62 studies, with over 14,161 participants, the prevalence rates of impostor syndrome varied widely from 9% to 82% largely depending on the screening tool and cutoff used to assess the symptoms. You can geek out on the stats here.

What was discovered was, Impostor Syndrome was common among both men and women and across a range of age groups (adolescents to late-stage professionals). Impostor syndrome is often linked with depression and anxiety and is associated with impaired job performance, job satisfaction, and burnout. (And that’s because how we view ourselves has a ripple effect on all other aspects of our life.)

Impostor Syndrome is also seen in people who challenge themselves, like CEOs and entrepreneurs, who find themselves with a feeling of being fraud or fake since they’re in a state of ongoing growth and discomfort.

I hear this with new business owners who are learning a new skill AND building a business who are driving changes in their business strategy, shifting their services or ideal target clients. Thoughts in their heads say “you’ll never be able to do this!” or “how can you charge money for something you have not yet mastered yourself?”

Now, no matter where you’re at in your career, most people have felt this way on the journey. I felt this when I was at the beginning of my journey as a Demartini Method Facilitator. I thought, ‘why would people listen to me, and what I have to say?’ and I even felt I didn’t have anything important to say anyway.

The imposter mindset is demonstrated by feelings of inadequacy and insecurity, manifesting in the continual questioning of one’s own competence. It’s thinking you’re not intelligent enough to do the work, you’re not an expert and you worry people will eventually find out how much you don’t know and see straight through you, like being caught with your pants down kind-of-moment.

(Oh!!! Flashback to my grade 3 end of year production where I’m wearing a cowgirl outfit in front of the entire school and I had a wardrobe malfunction, and my pants fell off – no imposter syndrome there, only fully exposed and real).

Let’s go deeper with Imposter Syndrome because it is deeper than the thoughts you think, it is perfect feedback to let you know you’re not living up to the light within you. You’re slowly snuffing your own flame out. You’re slowly dying inside.

So let’s cover the top three impostor syndrome dynamics and more importantly, what to do to shift this sucker;

1. I am not a real expert.

When you say to yourself you’re not a real expert, you believe you don’t know enough. The void of not knowing is so great, that you minimise yourself, and, as a byproduct, play down what you do know.

Another definition of Imposter Syndrome is “a collection of feelings of inadequacy that persist even in the face of information that indicates that the opposite is true.”

You’re not seeing your wealth of wisdom within. You focus on the unknown information rather than the known information. You know more than you realise.

Gold Nugget Of Wisdom: Focus on what you do know while beavering away in the background mastering your skills and knowledge. Spending time with others who know more than you, soak up their wisdom while watching someone with a greater level of mastery. And it is the small steps, acted on repeatedly that will raise your expertise.

Apply The Demartini Method: Go to a moment you perceived yourself to not know enough. And ask this powerful question, how did it serve yourself (and anyone else who was there) that, in that moment, you didn’t know enough? (This is column 10 of the Demartini Method) Keep asking and answering until you are certain it was both a help and hinderance to you to not know enough.

2. People know more than me.

Yes, this is true. So untruths were detected there. People do know more than you and this is true at any level of knowledge.

Some people think that everyone else has something they don’t and that they are or won’t be at the same level. They’re not playing small and minimise what they know or don’t know but to people around them. They think of themselves as an impostor, not qualified to do anything but sit in the background and take notes.

The more you minimise yourself to others, the more you minimise to more people, the greater the imposter syndrome you’ll have as you’re squishing your own light and love to share with the world.

Gold Nugget Of Wisdom: Remember, you spot it, you got it! Yes, the world is your mirror. So ask yourself where and when you have displayed expertise or knowledge in the same or similar way as the people around you. And ask and answer this repeatedly until you wake up within your expertise. And watch yourself level up.

Apply The Demartini Method: Make a long list of everything you do know (this is column 12 of the Demartini Method) until you realise that you’re a freakin’ genius and have a lot fo share with the world.

3. I’ll be exposed as a fraud.

People with Impostor Syndrome think “who am I to do this?” and “Why would anyone listen to me?” They can feel like they stop themselves from trying something new in business for fear of being exposed as a fraud.

This is a deeper issue. It is not just about being exposed, but they’re also saying they don’t deserve success. It’s an internal sense of doubting their own ability, expertise and disbelieving they can be successful.

Now, what is interesting, if we go down the rabbit hole to find the problem under the problem, doubting their own ability can be because of two factors.

Overly high standards can lead to an inability to see and appreciate your expertise, leading to feeling more like a fraud and not deserving success.

Striving to be a perfectionist (the unrealistic one-sided perfection) leads people to feel disappointed and not acknowledge their successes, however small.

This, when left unchecked and unbalanced, over time can lead to more feelings of self-criticism and low self-esteem. Again, another ripple effect onto other areas of life because you then compare yourself more to others, which leads to greater imposter syndrome thoughts.

Gold Nugget Of Wisdom: I can’t go past this without bringing in universal law. When you attach to a one-sided world, it draws in the counterbalanced nightmare. When you want so desperately a one-sided world, you suffer more. If you attach to being an expert and knowing, if you must have what you deliver to your clients as perfect, no mistakes, no errors, then you’ll be living in a one-sided illusion. Look for the drawbacks of each of these until you crack the fantasy and pop the bubble.

Apply The Demartini Method: When you doubt your own ability, expertise and disbelieving you can be successful, more often than not there is an entangled fantasy of being ‘successful.’ You want to be seen as an expert in the field. Like everything, it has it’s downside too. To dissolve this dynamic, go to a moment you perceived yourself to not be an expert. Ask the question if in that moment you had perceived yourself as an expert, what would have been the drawback in that moment and from that moment onwards (this is column 14 of the Demartini Method. Crack any illusion that the opposite would have been better.

Time to shake off the shackles of your misperceptions, and remember you’re not bound to succeed, you’re bound to live up to the light within you.

Shine bright,

 

Leadership Coach & Master Certified Demartini Method Facilitator
BAppSoSc (Counselling)
Maximum Growth: Private & Group Coaching Available

27 year old me was so naive.

Allow me to set the scene for you:

I’m at this hole-in-the-wall Greek Restaurant called Estia’s with my sister Natasha and her friend. I’m feeling like Tanya 2.0 after a life-changing personal development seminar a few months before.

And Ella (the friend) shares with me that she has cancer.

She says it casually enough that I responded in my usual style – i.e. with helpful insight and without fluff:

“Cancer is caused by black and white thinking.”

Can tell you straight up: this is how you lose friends and influence no one. I doubt even Mary Poppin’s spoonful of sugar would have helped our dearest Ella swallow my life-advice pill.

She was shocked.

Natasha was eyes-bugging, splotchy red cheek mad at me. “How dare you speak to my friend like that??!! You have no idea how tough this is for her!!” (Shouty capitals and colourful word choices not included.)

I tell ya, {first_name}. We put on a show that Estia’s hosts could have charged for and Netflix would have turned into a mega hit drama.

Side note: Natasha and I never fought. I know this is extreme language but we never disagreed, raised our voices, cat scratched each other… our entire life.

I loved her (still do) and by this point I had realised that most of my friends just weren’t on the same page as me.

They just didn’t care about personal growth or other cool stuff that I did – like doing what you love and making moolah (AKA lots of money) from it. Or getting to talk about deep stuff and explore the mysteries of human behaviour and the universe. I hadn’t found another new circle where I could jive and nerd out on personal development stuff yet. Or even other people to help me understand this new perspective on life.

Even so, Natasha was one of the only people who I still loved hanging around.

We didn’t speak for months after our big fat greek cat fight. So of course I felt even more lonely and misunderstood.

Looking back, it was my own doing really. When I first started delving into personal development, I tried hard to stay connected with my old life.

But New And Expanded Tanya (with her growth mindset) didn’t fit in with the friendships I had before.

Turns out, casting your pearls of wisdom before your non-personal-development friends ask for them does not make a long-lasting relationship.

It does make life lonely though.

You can probably relate. You learn an insight that moves you and changes your life. You want to share that with the people you love, thinking they’ll be as profoundly shifted as you. But they don’t get it. Or they don’t care. Or worse, they think you’re attacking them. (I call upon the feta & olive Gods as witness to this fact.)

So people drop off. You drift from one friend circle to another but never really click. And it gets lonely, fast.

But the truth is, no matter how far along the journey you are, you’re going to grow faster than others. And at each new level, it gets harder to find people who think like you.

Expanded minds are rare, {first_name}. Especially if the only place you congregate is expensive seminars two or three times a year, like we all used to back in the day.

And The ‘Rona has influenced our ability to connect socially in the land of online seminars.

But fear not.

You have now found where the rest of us hang out. You’ve found your peeps!

So welcome to Maximum Growth Community.

Whether you are a member, a past member, a contemplating being a member or just on the sidelines, we have our Students of Wisdom Facebook group. Connect with other self-growers like you and come to a higher level of understanding together.

This group is a chance for you to share your thoughts, your presence and your wisdom (or just lurk and listen if that’s more your style.)

Consider this your invitation to the Greek Restaurant conversation that could have been.

I’d love to see you on the inside there and have your unique voice in the room, {first_name}.

And send this along to anyone who you think would make a great student of wisdom, too. If they’re like you, at all, they’re welcome in our world.

Can’t wait to dive into more deep discussions with you!

Have a beautiful week,

 

Leadership Coach
Counsellor & Master Certified Demartini Method Facilitator
Maximum Growth: Private & Group Coaching Available

PS – Margaret Mead famously said, “never underestimate the power of a small group of people to change the world. Indeed, it’s the only thing that ever has.” We are tiny but mighty together.

Have you heard the news?

Elon Musk is selling all his possessions in his plight to colonise Mars.

A billionaire, who could have anything he wants in the world, has decided to downsize, and sell his last remaining home, a 47-acre Bay Area estate, hits the market for $37.5 million.

He now rents a home close to SpaceX so he doesn’t have to travel so far to work (that’s kind of a beautiful balance of travel close and travel a distance).

Here is a photo of his rental, being upgraded.

So what’s the deeper message here? To give up all your worldly possessions and join his ship?

I think not.

Here are some gold nuggets of wisdom;

1. Focus on a meaningful mission that is not about the money (unless money is your top value, then go focus on money).
2. What are you prepared to give up to get in return for your mission? Because you can’t gain without a loss (and vice versa). This man is willing to give up any luxury, any worldly possessions for his mission? Maybe you don’t feel inspired to go down that path, but perhaps you might give up a social life, or holiday time to meet your objective.
3. I would say that he had a value shift, something has changed within him as he is reinvesting almost everything into business. But, on reflecting, this is his pattern. When he sold Paypal, he reinvested everything into Tesla and SpaceX. So it is not surprising that he has done this again. He has been tested in his mission. And it seems unstoppable.
4. The last gold nugget of wisdom is the most important one of all. You can never have a meaningful mission without truly knowing yourself. When you know yourself, you can create a message around what is meaningful to you. Knowing yourself comes through awareness of yourself.

To be aware of yourself you have to go deep into what makes you, you. Dogen Zenji, writer and philosopher said, ‘the study of self is the study of all things.’

This is why, week after week, month after month, now year after year we focus on applying the Demartini Method, to dissolve our disillusions and resolve our resentments to have a transcendent experience and listen to the deeper message from our soul.

And this is why you are willing to be persecuted for your mission because you’d rather listen to your soul than your senses (which is trying to be liked and approved by people).

Now it is time to ponder, what is your inspired message which you would love to share with the world?

Here’s to looking up to the stars and wondering this weekend

 

Leadership Coach
Counsellor & Master Certified Demartini Method Facilitator
Maximum Growth: Private & Group Coaching Available

“Save 10% of your income!”

Thanks to The Richest Man in Babylon for this mantra.

This is a great idea, but there is a caveat; if you’re in debt and have no savings it doesn’t make sense.

Here’s a scenario:

You’re in debt, and maxed your credit card out which you’re paying 19% interest on the balance of $1,000 (this is just a number for educational purposes).

You receive your monthly pay and you “save 10% of your income.” You put it into your savings account which will pay you less than 1% interest and at the end of one year you will have $1,010 BEFORE taxes.

Woot, earned $10… In. One. Year. ????

If you paid off your credit card, you would save yourself $190.

That’s a $180 difference.

Realize that by “investing” in your debt (by paying it off) you’re getting a guaranteed return on your money.

BUT, additional caveat here too; it isn’t just about paying off debt, it is about shifting your mindset that created the debt in the first place.

If not, you’ll find yourself working hard, paying off debt, and then finding yourself back in debt again thinking to yourself, how did this happen?! (on that wheel of Samsara again).

So here are three tips to shift debt (and the secret sauce is appreciation in many forms);

Tip 1# Appreciate your debt will help reduce your debt

Every decision you have made about your finances has been based on what you think will give you the greatest amount of reward over risk. You’ll only choose something if you know it will give you the best yield in your own hierarchy of values.

Resentment can build towards paying off debt, the emotional burden makes it harder and more difficult to pay back (or you might just not want to pay it back at all – and this piling on more guilt).

When you‘re grateful for the money you have borrowed it’s easier to not only generate the money to pay it all back but also to give it back.

Create appreciation for your debt by asking yourself what are the benefits of that debt until you are grateful for it. You’ll then be more likely to have a drive to pay it back (and less guilt on your shoulders too).

Tip 2# Buy what appreciates, not depreciates

People are in distress financially because of a lack of long term thinking and drawn into short term spending.

This was proven in the Marshmallow experiment in the 1960’s. Children were given two options, have one marshmallow now or wait a little longer and receive two.

The children who were willing to delay gratification and waited to receive their second marshmallow ended up having higher SAT scores, lower levels of substance abuse, lower likelihood of obesity, better responses to stress, better social skills as reported by their parents, and generally better scores in a range of other life measures. Oh and more money in their accounts.

The researchers followed each child for more than 40 years and over and over again, the group who waited patiently for the second marshmallow succeeded in whatever capacity they were measuring.

So, think about your last 5 purchases. Will they appreciate in value (or you have a mapped out plan to know how to recoup the investment? Or were they depreciating or just plain pleasurable purchases (AKA, you ate the first marshmallow and didn’t patiently wait)?

To build wealth, the idea is to buy less depreciating assets and obtain assets that will appreciate in value. Why? Because you are investing in your long term financial future. You’re less focused on the instant gratification, pleasure drug it, more self governed. But hey, you can’t do this unless you have mastered the next tip.

Tip 3# Appreciate wealth

Let me repeat the message from the number 1 tip, that every decision you have made about finances has been based on what you think will give you the greatest amount of reward over risk. You’ll only choose something if you know it will give you the best yield in your own hierarchy of values.

Therefore, we spend money on our highest values.

AND, we’re in debt according to our hierarchy of values.

Change your values, change your wealth potential. (delete (which means less likely to be in debt too).​

Any value you have that is ABOVE building wealth, saving and investing, growing finances you’ll spend your money on. So hence why, the lower it is, or if it is not on your list of priorities, then it is very difficult to grow wealth.

If you want to shift to increase your wealth potential, then ask yourself how does building wealth/saving and investing/growing finances (whatever statement is the best for you) serve each of your values.

Make links to each value so many times until you see a strong connection. You’re certain your values will be met when you focus on building wealth/saving and investing/growing finances.

Then, when debt has shifted and it now makes more sense to “save 10% of your income” then the next hurdle is to get comfortable with risk so you can grow your little honey pot.

So to wrap up this week in a nutshell, appreciate your debt, appreciate your wealth, buy assets which appreciate and you’ll appreciate yourself for it.

A truckload of appreciation to you for reading until the end,

 

Leadership Coach
Counsellor & Master Certified Demartini Method Facilitator
Maximum Growth: Private & Group Coaching Available

P.S. I’m not a financial advisor, I have jedi mind skills. Please do your research on your own figures to see what the best strategies are for your financial situation.

“I’m a failure, my business isn’t growing as fast as I wanted it to.”

**Deep sigh***

I hear this from new business owners a lot.

The mind’s primary role is to organize, manage and deal with information – information that already exists, that needs to be processed and new information.

But… “don’t believe everything you think.”

Many people function as if whatever is revealed in the canvas of their mind is actually real. They believe the negative self-talk, the doubt, the uncertainty, and take it as fact.

The mind, when untrained, has difficulty slowing down. The thoughts, debates, and conversations, just keep chasing themselves round and round like a dog chasing its own tail (think sleepless nights going over the same conversation outcome).

When the chatter in the mind takes over, they are drowned by the “many voices”. You can’t create the time and space to pause to hear the message from the “inner voice.”

If you don’t create space from all the mental noise, if you don’t train the mind, you react rather than respond.

The beautiful thing is, any rumination, any perceived negative thoughts in your mind is incomplete awareness trying to dissolve and resolve the emotional charge (thanks mind for doing it’s job).

One way to decrease the inner voices, decrease the brain is to ask how whatever the content of the distraction in your mind, is serving you until you see the perfection, and you feel there is nothing to change (we learn this tool in our Maximum Growth Mindset Classes every week – you’ll apply the Demartini Method week in week out, month in month out for huge transformation).

When you see the blessings, there isn’t anything you need to process, and your mind quietens.

Here, in the stillness, your inner voice, your soul’s guidance becomes clearer and more certain. AKA, better night’s sleep!

See you on the inside,

Leadership Coach

Counsellor & Master Certified Demartini Method Facilitator

Maximum Growth: Private & Group Coaching Available

How aware are you of the impact and influence you have on those you lead?

How aware are you of your inner world relative to your outer world when it comes to leadership and business?

It makes it much more difficult to lead others if you are not aware of how to lead yourself (blind leading the blind kind of dynamic). You are unaware and even oblivious of the deeper reason and meaning of why things happen and what you can do to shift the dynamic.

We have 4 different selves within us (this is adapted from The Johari Window Model).

The Open Self: You are aware of the parts (or traits, actions and inactions within you), you own it and openly show it to the world. You don’t hold back and feel freedom to express this part of yourself.

The Hidden Self: You are aware of the parts (or traits, actions and inactions within you) or past experiences and attempt to hide it from the world. This may consist of feelings, ambitions, dreams, opinions and past choices which you withheld from sharing out of fear of negative reaction.

Your hidden self is the part you are still judging in yourself (or traits, actions and inactions you have yet to own), and haven’t fully owned or embraced it within you. Once you trust another individual, you may choose to reveal some of your hidden self.

The Blind Self: You are unaware of the parts (or traits, actions and inactions within you) and don’t own it (or even disown it). The idea is to identify the blind spots (sometimes you need someone else to spot them for you) in your leadership and life then own it within you so that you can play hero and villain as a leader.

The Unknown Self: You are unaware of the parts (or traits, actions and inactions within you) and you don’t own, and no one is reflecting back to you. These can be subconscious charges that you’re unaware of such as early childhood memories and undiscovered talents.

You don’t know what you don’t know so don’t stress about what you don’t know to stress about. (Don’t worry about what you don’t know).

Self-awareness helps you to recognise your struggles and your strengths and continue to level up your leadership. You don’t have to hide your vulnerabilities, instead be open to exploring them with a mindset to grow.

It’s your struggles that create a growth ceiling on yourself and prevent you from levelling up.

You can only rise to the degree you are willing to work through your struggles.

If you don’t, over time this will cost a sense of not being your whole self. And that sucks.

What are you hiding from the world that you know if you cleared would help you level up as a leader?

In the Maximum Growth Business Membership, we had some beautiful reveals of our hidden selves. And then having the courage to Do. The. Work.

Practising self-awareness takes time and holding the mirror to yourself. It gets you to face parts of yourself that you might want to but when you do, a weight is lifted off your shoulders and you are (mentally) freer to leave a bigger legacy as fear is not holding you back.

See you on the inside,

 

Leadership Coach
Counsellor & Master Certified Demartini Method Facilitator
Maximum Growth: Private & Group Coaching Available

Bonnie turned 2 last month. This had come with a flooding of people saying “oh, this is when it gets really tough, they throw tantrums, get upset, refuse to do what you say, say no ALOT.”

So let’s talk about the terrible twos. No, let’s talk about human behaviour because let’s face it, even as adults we sometimes spit the dummy.

Emotions serve a purpose.

When you’re challenged with what you want, or what is important to you, you’ll find yourself using emotion as a strategy to get what you want. Or maybe using emotions as you don’t want to say what is on your mind, so crying says it for you.

And emotions can be amplified because of your environment.

When you’re in an environment where people are calm and centred, you feel it too.

Oh, do you remember the panic buying in the supermarkets last year? Just walking in there I wanted to buy EVERYTHING I didn’t need and 20 items of anything I did.

It leaves the question, when you’re upset and having a meltdown, how long do you stay in your emotional state, and when do you come back to centre? (or how long do you allow others to be emotional before you say – hey, time to work on it).

Here is the thing, sometimes you just need someone, like this guy, to be there for you. #holdthespace

There is a time and place for someone to hold this space for us, to allow us time to express ourselves and how we feel. To vent. (And it feels so good! I ain’t going to lie).

I have seen clients lose themselves in their business and lose themselves when their business has fallen apart and no longer exists. I have seen clients struggle with their niche and what service to offer the world. Even being slammed by the media for something that is not true and was worried business would slow down. #majormeltdown

They come because they are ready to process their emotions, to do the work and get back on track with fulfilling their vision.

I have witnessed some incredible transformations in people from doing internal work on themselves (think disgusting habits stopping, affection starting again in a relationship, aggression from the other party calming, and people calling again after having a strained relationship).

This is the paradox we have to grapple as a leader.

When to feel through it and when to work on it.

It’s tough as there is no prescription that tells you what to do. I wish I had the answer but I don’t. Only you will know.

Next time you have a moment, you want to throw all your toys out of the cot, check-in with yourself to see if you are really “feeling the full force of the emotions” and “when will you be ready to work on it.”

See you on the inside,

 

Leadership Coach
Counsellor & Master Certified Demartini Method Facilitator
Maximum Growth: Private & Group Coaching Available

After spending a long weekend with my family, I hugged my Mum goodbye and for the first time in my entire life, she cried in my arms (you know the sobbing that makes your whole body shake kind of cry).

Wrapping my arms tighter around her small frame I asked “What is hurting in your heart?”

She replies, “I don’t know how much time I have left here. And if I’ll get to see everyone again.”

Death is confronting.

There was a period of time where death seemed to be creeping into our home more and more. My father had been sick on and off for years with major illnesses, surgeries, he and our family had faced death or the fear of death many times.

My parents, each visit or phone call would want to talk about their death with my sister, brother and me.

They’re prepared, a funeral prayer book is written, hymns are decided, a financial plan arranged, the works.

Now, it’s my mum’s turn to feel her mortality like something is creeping over her as she lives, slowly ready to take her at any moment.

Death is confronting as it makes you face your life.

While flying home (and in between Bonnie crawling all over me between seats to get the best view) I reflected on my future when I am in my 80’s and what I would love my life to be, what would I love to have created and what mark do I want to leave on the world (I know for sure it isn’t ticking off every Netflix series).

My Mum has been my greatest teacher and has taught me to not only walk a spiritual path but be prepared to dedicate your life to a cause and a mission that is serving humanity.

Everyone has a mission, a purpose on earth. Some people take 50 years to awaken to it, others know it as a child. It doesn’t matter when you find and follow it, it matters to keep following your inner knowing for that divine calling as it has more wisdom than you can intellectualise.

It isn’t about comparing yourself to others (that’ll shut it down quickly).

It isn’t about following someone else’s calling (that’s Killing Me Softly)

It isn’t about thinking with your head about your mission is (off with their heads – Thanks Queen of Hearts).

Let me bring it home with a little wisdom from Abraham Lincoln I shared a few weeks ago and it is perfect here again, “I’m not bound to win, I’m bound to be true. I’m not bound to succeed, I’m bound to live up to the light within me.”

And you are.

You have a light to shine on the world.

No. Let me re-say that you have a unique light to shine on the world, that only you can do.

In the Maximum Growth Business Membership, we have finished a block of classes on unpacking and revealing a Philosophia for life.

This process has been so deeply moving that each session (and for those that watched the recordings) had rolling goosebumps and tears, and saw their vision for their life right in front of them.

Their certainty in their own path, their own purpose, their meaningful mission grew. A spark ignited for some, for others it burned brighter.

And all from 5 hours of retrospection, introspection, prospection (that’s looking forward in time).

Everyone has a unique mission to share with the world (or a group of people in a little corner of the internet).

Only you can know it (I have some quality questions to ask to reveal it).

What’s five hours of time to dedicate to awaken something powerful within yourself that creates your life to be more meaningful?

Not much.

If you are interested in joining (or upgrading) to the Maximum Growth Business Membership, come and join us every week to help you to create a living, life and legacy you love.

Check out more details here.

See you on the inside,

 

Leadership Coach
Counsellor & Master Certified Demartini Method Facilitator

In the Mindset Class last week, one of our MG Members, Danny shared he wanted to embrace criticism. We’ve all been there at one stage or another.

I reflected on who I perceived to do this well, and hands down it’s Donald Trump. He could be composed and continue about his business while receiving intense criticism.

Trump was fascinating to watch. I’ve racked my brain and I can’t think of a more transparent global demonstration of human behaviour from the last decade than when Trump was president.

His behaviour was a perfect example of the play of universal principles.

So, let’s go down the rabbit hole and have a chance to fine-tune your universal principle preceptors at a global scale by reviewing Trump’s term as president.

Law Of Equilibrium

The more self-righteous Trump became, the more the universe tried to bring him back down.

We saw this when Pennsylvania immediately threw out of court his bid to stop counting the votes. (A blow to his ego and public image.)

If he played within the rule-book with a more balanced perspective, maybe he’d be able to make a stronger case (one aligned with democratic proceedings that would get consideration in court.)

Intuitively I’d say he may have been cocky about winning. That’s a factor in why the tides turned towards Biden’s favour. And he’s less public now. Sometimes we hide when we are faced with a publicly humbling circumstance (have you been there {Name}?).

LESSON: If you don’t govern your inner world, expect the outer world to govern you.

Law of Reflection and Transparency (Column 2&9 if you’re a fellow Demartini Method nerd)

Often you would hear Trump talk about fake news, dishonesty, being a phoney, part of the campaign to win the election was about Hillary Clinton being crooked.

What is interesting is that, as of Trump’s 100th day in office, there were 492 false or misleading claims (fact check here).

It’s a great reminder that you don’t see the world as it is, you see it as you are. The world is your mirror.

LESSON: Your emotional charges show how you perceive the world and are revealed in your language.

You can also learn alot from someone else, when you listen to what they say. If they say “you’re hiding something” it is more likely they have hidden something and feel guilt about it, and perceiving it in you.

Law Of Perceived Value

Trump had done so well at communicating in the Republicans’ values (whether you agree with his stance or not) that they’re moved to action from voting for him a little over 4 years ago and going to Capitol Hill in December.

He doesn’t need evidence or facts to mobilise his followers when he uses their language, when he speaks to what is important to them.

Like it or not, that’s a key trait of a powerful leader: knowing and talking to your people. This is also why this is the largest voter turnout in the history of the US – both candidates have spoken to inspire (their people) or polarise the masses (as not everyone values what the leader stands for).

LESSON: No matter what level you play at, you’ll have your haters (waving to my haters now wave????????).

Law Of Lesser Pissers

I personally love the Law Of Lesser Pissers.

Being pissed off is conserved. Too often we want to play Mr Nice Guy/The Good Girl, and we sacrifice ourselves and what we want to please the outside world. But internally, we build up resentment, to the point of pissing ourselves off for not doing what we wanted (ouch).

LESSON: No matter what, in some circumstances, someone will be pissed off. Who would you rather it be? You? Or them?

Now take a moment to see these Universal Principles in your own life.

Examine the Universal Principles at work… and you see a bigger, brighter and beautiful whole story unfold.

With universal love and wisdom,

 

Leadership Coach

Counsellor & Master Certified Demartini Method Facilitator

Zero to 100 in 1 second.

That’s how fast I found myself fuming! (that’s faster than a lamborghini BTW).

No one can make us feel anything except your perceptions of your experience creates how you feel. It is the realization that you are the only person who can be responsible for your feelings and your reactions and thus your fulfillment.

But it is not that easy.

When you are living unconsciously, what someone says or does can “trigger” a reaction within you. If you are not conscious of what is happening, you will react as if the other person is doing something to you, when in fact it is you who are doing the doing.

When you are living consciously, you become responsible for yourself, your experience and your actions.

You seek maximum growth within yourself and are less prone to reaction (and it still will happen – you can’t escape it).

True liberation starts by taking responsibility for your own actions (and of course, your reactions), and instead of laying blame elsewhere, choosing to have full thinking, full awareness of your experience, seeing how the struggle, the challenge is serving.

So you’re probably wondering what got my all fired up?

I have booked 4 days next week to see my family in Melbourne. We are all flying in to spend time in the nest. Poppy has prepared the menu, rooms are ready for us to arrive (thanks Nana!) and I have been explaining to Bonnie we are going to (finally) see everyone.

But, there has been 1 case of ‘rona in Sydney (no, I did not leave any zero’s off that number). Now the news is reporting the next two weeks will be critical.

Fuming. For a second. Ridiculous. F**king Idiots (and a lot of head shaking).

Then, my training of asking quality questions and applying quality answers using the Demartini Method come into play.

I want to make sure if we couldn’t fly, I am adaptable, and flexible. So I ask myself how would it serve Bonnie, myself and my family to not go to Melbourne next week?

I dissolve any attachment (and excitement) in going, ground myself and become grateful at the possibility.

If we hold onto baggage, it costs us greatly. It costs time thinking about it, energy talking about it, it can even be all consuming.

When you look inward and self-reflect on your part of the dynamic, you find deeper meaning and understanding in your situation. You find the ‘why’, the reason it has unfolded in this way, at this time for you. Then, when you change the way you look at things, the things you look at change.

Gold Nugget Of Wisdom: the quality of your life is determined by the quality of questions you ask and the quality of answers you provide.

Tanya “owning my name” Cross x

 

Leadership Coach

Counsellor & Master Certified Demartini Method Facilitator