Is your mind running a million miles an hour? What is wrong with this email? Why is there such a big gap?
And the deeper question is, does the silence make you feel uncomfortable?
This one’s a no-brainer (pardon the pun). Let me explain.
Almost everyone had some version of “the past 18 months have been so full-on. I feel totally overwhelmed/numb/in my head about things. What do I do?”
Grateful you asked. Because I’ve spent YEARS getting overthinkers out of their head and into their heart. (Some of the biggest breakthroughs I have are with those kinds of clients.)
And in case you were wondering, yes – it’s easy to get ‘stuck’ spinning your wheels in indifference. Especially when it comes to doing the Demartini Method by yourself. So don’t fret – you’re in the perfect company 🙂
Overthinking is a loop of unproductive thoughts on replay.
One of the most obvious reasons you overthink is due to stress. Stress tends to have a profound effect on the brain. Cortisol can damage and kill brain cells in the hippocampus (which plays a major role in learning and memory).
Chronic over thinking can also alter brain functions by changing its structure and connectivity. You have changes in mood, changes in your digestive functioning, and more wrinkles than you might like.
Not to mention the stress on business, family, finances and life.
The first level of overthinking is a mild level and arises especially during a stressful period of life. You’re able to regulate your thoughts, and come back to centre on your own (or with a little extra training and guidance).
The second level of overthinking is a moderate level. You’re realistic, but can’t stabilize your emotions within a short period of time and, thus, have problems with overthinking. You receive feedback with your feelings and experience emotions such as anxiety. Stress shows in other ways such as insomnia, excessive food or alcohol intake. This is where you require help to get you back on track.
The third level of overthinking is a severe level of overthinking. People with a severe level of overthinking might experience falling out of reality. When there are so many obsessive thoughts that are organized in mental constructions which are unrealistic, creating a false reality that exists in your mind. Again, you require assisance to balance yourself.
What is common to all levels of overthinking is that it is unresolved perceptions and emotional changes and your overthinking is trying to resolve it (although sometimes, let’s face it, it’s doing the inverse).
No matter what you’re working through, you’ll pass through 3 stages:
- Charge (and there are squillions of levels here)
- Indifference
- Love.
1. THE CHARGE
The charge is easily recognisable. Overthinking is creating the charge. It amplies it, louder and louder in your mind. You feel it in your body, it runs your mind. The bigger the emotional charge, the more consuming it is in the mind, and your life.
2. INDIFFERENCE
But there’s a fine line that catches people between indifference and love. (A favourite place for over-intellectualisers to stall and stay.)
When you reach indifference it can sometimes feel like the wind’s been taken out of your sails. You intellectually know that there are equal benefits and drawbacks to a person or dynamic, but you don’t FEEL it.
You’ve found benefits in the moment and are grateful but still think, “I still wish [insert dynamic] was different.” (For comparison, see how it feels different to: “Thank you. I love you. I’m grateful I got to experience this.” See that? One SEEMS balanced, but the other FEELS balanced.)
So I’m going to tell you something a little controversial: allow yourself to feel.
Whether it’s numb, or frustrated, or any other emotion. Let it be your signpost to what is still lingering in your perceptions. I call this “following the feeling”.
That means you can feel to know what to resolve and dissolve.
Because you can’t heal what you don’t feel.
You can ask yourself this quality question as a test: What’s still in the way of you loving this individual? (Or dynamic.)
Remember, you’re human and as long as you remain human, you’re going to feel things.
And feel things often.
The key is not to push them down or not feel or even use overthinking as a strategy not to feel, but to treat them as your teachers: there’s a lesson (and a gift) in every charge.
To not think through your problems but instead, every great breakthrough requires BOTH thinking AND feeling. So lean into it {first_name}.
3. LOVE
Then there is love.
Love is more deep and profound than you realise. The big empty space above represents love.
It’s spaceless, timeless, massless, it radiates. And no words can even get close to feeling the depth of what love is.
This experience of love, this depth of love is what you experience when you apply the Demartini Method to the content of your overthinking. You take your mind from uncertainty to certain, from scattered to present. To feel love and gratitude expands and warms your heart.
This means that no matter what you go through, you can grow through.
Anything you feel, such as sadness (depression, despair, hopelessness), anxiety (fear, worry, concern, nervousness, panic), anger (irritation, frustration, annoyance, rage), guilt and shame/embarrassment can be healed.
And then overthinking will just resolve itself.
If you have brain noise from the past 18 months and you’d love to resolve it, then meet me at 7pm AEST on Wednesday this coming week in class. Come and learn to apply some powerful questions to transform your thinking, to open up to a new, deeper and more profound love. Check out all the classes we run at Maximum Growth.
In the meantime, sending you a big warm fuzzy hug (oh feel that yummy-ness).
Leadership Coach & Master Certified Demartini Method Facilitator
BAppSoSc (Counselling)
Maximum Growth
One on one & group coaching available
