The silent business killer

Featured image for “The silent business killer”

This one is for the business owners and entrepreneurs of the group.

But if you’re not one don’t be phased…

There is some juice in this for you too

Because this game-changing principle

Is applicable to all relationships

Fair exchange.

I know, I know you have heard it before.


It runs deeper than you may think.

It isn’t just dollar for time

It isn’t just product for money

It isn’t just a trade.

When I work with business owners I find an extremely common thought process.

“The exchange that exists at the transaction point is the money for the service”

But this is untrue.

There are many unconscious and conscious exchanges that occur that are either spoken or unspoken.

And in this.

There are many unconscious and conscious expectations that occur that are either spoken or unspoken.

And these unconscious unspoken expectations are the driver of the slowly eroding perception of the value of the product or service.

Both in the eyes of the business owner


In the eyes of the client and customers.

Now you might be thinking how…

Well, let me explain.

Within our offers, we have multiple value points.

And for each value point we have an expectation of use.

And if we are unaware of our true expectation for how we want the client to interact with that value point (e.g. FB Group), in the way that provides us the exchange we desire

We end up judging our product or service as “not good enough” and feeling ashamed or guilty about it.

This unconscious unspoken expectation of the client or customer to interact in a certain way with a value point drives the erosion of our perception of the product.

Then leads us to overcompensate to make up for it.

Let me share how I discovered this.

When I first stepped into my coaching business…

I had a weekly community Q+A as a part of signing up for either my group or my 1 to 1
And to utilise this you had to ask questions.

But I barely got any questions, and not many people would show up for them.

So I started to build up resentment towards my clients for not asking questions and not showing up, BUT I also started to feel guilty that I wasn’t providing the value I promised because people weren’t showing up.

And so I started going over on sessions times.

Over-discounting other products

Giving up my boundaries to fill this feeling of it not being enough.

I knew something was off.

And had explored it from many angles

But it wasn’t until I asked myself the question

“At the moment of transaction, what is it that I am expecting from my clients that I have communicated and I haven’t communicated?”

I went through and wrote a list, and then POP…

Like a wave through me,

I felt the resentment and guilt shift.

“I expected them to show up for the lives, add value and be a part of the community”

In exchange for

“The live Q+As, the group and being connected into other like-minded individuals”

But I had never communicated this.

Because it was something I was giving to them as a bonus…


And because I hadn’t communicated the expectations at the transaction point, no one knew I expected it.

I didn’t even know that I had an unspoken unconscious expectation of exchange that I expected to occur for the bonus value.

And so I was getting the feedback of guilt and resentment to awaken me to this.

Once I realised this.

It shifted the entire way I approach all my transactions.

And the entire way I look at my business offers and products.

And the way I get my clients to explore their transactions in business and in their personal relationships.

Making this shift stops the erosion of your service’s worth in your mind and the overcompensation pattern.

And so understanding what you expect for each value add and value point of your service or product is important. 

To maintain the feeling of fair exchange within yourself, with your customers and clients, and with yourself and your business. So you don’t build up resentment and resistance to them.

So I encourage you to explore the questions of Wisdom below.

You will most likely find that you have some unspoken, unconscious expectations eroding yourself, your relationships and your business transactions.


The name of the game is fair exchange.

But if you are unaware of what makes it fair for you, you will be out of exchange with those around you. 



“At the moment of transaction, what is it that I am expecting from my clients that I have, and I haven’t communicated?”


“What is it that I expect for what I provide that I have and haven’t communicated?”

Crush Life,

Justin Wiseman

Entrepreneur and Business Owner
Mindset and Business Coach
Demartini Method Facilitator

P.S. If you loved this newsletter and know someone who it could help! Please share this signup link to them!