“I find myself having nothing to say. I don’t know what to talk to people about. I don’t know what to post on social media. I have nothing to say.”
Ever felt that way {first_name}?
The first response is what I want to say, or the difficulty in finding a meaningful thought to share with the world rather than the problem behind the problem of why you felt that way in the first place.
Too often, when we’re faced with something difficult, perhaps business is going down, challenges in work dynamics, or even uncertainty in the future, and we look to the immediate problem as the priority.
Yes, there are some immediate things we can do to solve a problem like strategies Forbes offered this article (and that’s great if you want the one-sided positive thinking and #warmfuzzyfeelings, which are only a temporary fix).
But what if there was a deeper, more pressing issue that you’re not seeing.
For example, you’re walking with a limp, and you focus on the limp (ouch, that’s painful) without realising you have a blister on your right foot that’s grown to the size of Tasmania, creating the limp – get my point.
So take a moment and peek behind the curtains to see what I call the problem is behind the problem. (Go on, you might be fascinated with what you find.)
Here are some examples:
Client 1:
Immediate Problem: “I find myself having nothing to say. I don’t know what to talk to people about. I don’t know what to post on social media, I have nothing to say.” (this is what a client said on Sunday evening to me).
Problem Behind The Problem: “I’m depressed, down, and I don’t want to show up that way, and that is because I have unrealistic expectations of myself to be a certain type of way in public, and that is hard work, so it is easier to say nothing.”
Demartini Method Solution: The highest priority action step you can take is to list how you are ‘supposed’ to show up in public? What are the drawbacks of each item on your list? Keep asking yourself until you now perceive equal drawbacks to the benefits of demonstrating that to the world to yourself and others. Ie. “I have to be happy and bubbly.” Drawbacks are fake, not realistic, not how I feel sometimes, as some examples.
(p.s. Just in case you haven’t heard, the Demartini Method was created by Dr. John Demartini (founder of the Demartini Institute) and is presented in his signature program, The Breakthrough Experience. It’s a systematic procedure and personal transformation methodology as an effective means to solving problems and dissolving emotions).
Client 2:
Immediate Problem: “I want to grow my finances but I keep having challenges with the few clients I do have and they are not paying their invoices and this creates extreme anxieties.”
Problem Behind The Problem: “I don’t deserve to keep the money I earn.”
Demartini Method Solution: The highest priority action step you can take is to list all the things you have done that make you feel undeserving of money. What are the benefits of each item on your list? Keep asking yourself until you now perceive equal benefits to drawbacks to yourself and others. Ie. “I borrowed money from a friend and never paid it back.” Benefits to them are … and check out last week’s blog on finances to get you thinking.
Client 3:
Immediate Problem: “I’m having challenges in my relationship, we argue ALOT, and it is taking my mind off of business.”
Problem Behind The Problem: “I’m definitely infatuated with business and business growth. I love what I do and most of my energy goes there.”
Demartini Method Solution: The highest priority action step you can take is to take work off the pedestal to bring the relationship out of the pit. What are the drawbacks of putting a lot of my focus at work? What are the drawbacks of work? Until you know you are certain there are drawbacks and benefits to working and being focused on work.
No, there’s not always, every time, at every moment a deeper underlying issue (we don’t defy universal laws with ‘always’ peeps), but it pays to dig a little deeper. The reason is that you can dissolve surface tension but if the blister on your foot is not addressed, then the problem may continue to rear its head again.
It is possible to have a deep breakthrough experience by going deeper.
So take a moment now,
pause, take a breath, and think of one challenge you face in business, in leadership or life, and do some digging.
What is really going on? Is the inverse of what you’re wanting creating the current challenge? Is it related to your family dynamic? Have you seen this pattern before in another area of life?
Notice what you notice. What did you uncover? I’d love to hear from you {first_name}.
If you want to shift low self-esteem, depression, lacking clarity in your vision, any problem you are faced with, then there is a determined series of mental questions that can help you to perceive a greater intelligence to your experience and see a bigger purpose in life. You’ll see the real truth of our nature hidden in the problem behind the problem.
So take the time to seek a deeper solution by finding the problem behind the problem. And if you want to geek out and apply the Demartini Method with a Master Certified Demartini Method Facilitator, then come join Maximum Growth, a community of other leaders with a bigger purpose and use this powerful process to create an impact and income that is meaningful.
See you on the inside,
Leadership Coach & Master Certified Demartini Method Facilitator
BAppSoSc (Counselling)
Maximum Growth: One on One & Group Coaching Available
P.S. Little plug for Dr John Demartinis signature program Breakthrough Experience. If you are looking at the deeper psychology behind the Demartini Method, how to dissolve positive thinking ( because that is what creates negative experiences) and just more of Dr Demartni’s teachings, then Dr. Demartini’s legendary Breakthrough Experience (Saturday morning session is worth it in itself).
