From Deprivation to Magnetism: A Shift in Focus

There is a kind of pattern I see in founders that can quietly drain the business without ever showing up on a spreadsheet.

It is called self-deprivation.

It does not always look obvious. It might look like undercharging. Or holding back on launching something new. Or showing up fully for everyone else while sidelining your own needs.

And the cost of it is not just financial. It is energetic.

When you deprive yourself of love, rest, support, celebration, or even a sense of sufficiency, you are also dimming the light that powers your work.

That light is not just your energy. It is your magnetism. It is the thing that calls in aligned clients and creative flow. It is the heartbeat of your business.

Deprivation slowly erodes that.

Here is how it often shows up in founders I work with:

Disappointment

You tell yourself you are not quite enough. You set impossible standards and then feel defeated when you do not meet them. I worked with someone who restricted food because they tied their worth to their appearance. Deep down, they believed love was conditional. That belief leaked into their business too. They withheld offers. They overthought content. They kept chasing a version of themselves they could never reach.

Devaluing

You downplay your skills and think others deserve success more than you. I had a client who wanted to attract more clients but struggled to claim their authority. They questioned if they had enough experience, even though the evidence said otherwise. That quiet self-doubt repelled the very people they wanted to serve.

Deflection

You push away praise, support, or money. You minimise wins. You tell yourself it was luck. I saw this with someone who brushed off every compliment. They could not let success land, so it kept bouncing off them. Internally, they stayed in lack, even when growth was visible.

Disowning

You avoid owning your voice or leadership. You say it is not the right time, or you are still working on things. Underneath, you are avoiding your own power. I have seen incredible founders hold back from launching their offers, not because they were not ready, but because they did not feel worthy of the attention that would come with it.

So why do we keep doing this?

Because deprivation is familiar. You grow up around it. You tolerate it. You get used to it. And at some point, you even prefer it, because it feels safe.

But safe does not mean aligned.

There is always a tipping point. The moment where something inside says, enough. You do not want to play small anymore. You do not want to run on half-energy anymore. You do not want to keep proving your value by withholding what you truly want.

And when that moment comes, remember this:

Energy follows attention.

If you are focused on what you lack, you will keep recreating it.

But if you can become aware of your patterns, clear the emotional charge behind them, and redirect your attention toward what you want to create, you will feel that shift.

The flow returns. The juju comes back.

You stop dimming your light. And you start leading from it.

Tanya Cross

Leadership Coach & The Coaches’ Coach

Master Certified Demartini Method Facilitator

BAppSoSc (Counselling)

The Coaches’ Coach (TCC)

Maximum Growth