For you, my overthinker

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You’d be surprised how many people associate crying with weakness. And they think that if they completely dissolve a dynamic to where the only words left in their heart are, “Thank you, I love you” then they’ll cry and they’ll be perceived as weak.

(Usually that’s a belief learned early on in childhood – between 3-7 years old.)

If that’s you, I have a message just for you:

You can have a genuine, inspiring breakthrough without tears.

Because let’s remember the 6 signs of a true breakthrough: Certainty and presence in the mind, gratitude and love of the heart, enthusiasm and inspiration in the body.

Everything else is an illusion.

The key is how you feel.

Now, you might be different. Maybe you’re not charged about crying.

Maybe you get too ‘in your head’ because you’re familiar with the current level of challenge. And even though you want to change, there’s a level of comfort in familiarity.

Your charge becomes like a comfortable PJ’s you love getting into, and you aren’t ready nor wanting yet to dissolve it (better the devil you know kind of thinking).

So perhaps your fear of graduating to a new – and more importantly, unknown – challenge is greater than your fear of staying ‘stuck in the rut of the same cycle of thinking’. ​​​​​​​Or maybe (last example, promise) the last time you became too emotional, your world fell apart or you perceived you received too much criticism. So you subconsciously think, “I won’t go there again”.

Do you get where I’m going with this? Like the great oracle of Delphi said, “know thyself.”

Are you afraid of anything that might happen by breaking through?

If yes, work through that first (ie remove the roadblocks in the way of clearing your issue) and come back to your initial issue.

If not, let’s move to:


Much shorter for this one. You overthink things because your mind comes up with all sorts of reasons or imagined outcomes why you shouldn’t get to a state of gratitude and love.

e.g. somewhere in your mind, you’ve associated loving your soon-to-be-ex (with whom you’ve had a rough relationship) with the outcome that you’ll fall back into a relationship with them after breaking through. i.e. you still have a charge somewhere that the ‘old’ dynamic is more bad than good, more pain than pleasure or more challenge than support.

So, that imagined outcome of a renewed relationship is an illusion.

Because remember – you still have a choice after you’ve dissolved your charge. The difference is that you choose your actions from a balanced, grateful place. Not a lopsided one that will send you straight back into a similar dynamic (so you have another chance to love it.)

Just knowing that whatever you think MIGHT happen is no indication of what WILL happen.

Funnily enough, the only way to really ‘control’ the outcome is to dissolve the emotion around the outcome.

So, let this be a quick guide for you, my overthinker. Your head can be the key to your heart if you let it. Just take a little tweak in perspective.

Remember: thinking AND feeling. It’s both, not either/or.

Oh, and Thank you. For being here, for striving to live a more meaningful life every day. I love you with all my head, all my heart and all my soul.


Leadership Coach & Master Certified Demartini Method Facilitator
BAppSoSc (Counselling)
Maximum Growth One on one & group coaching available
Helping leaders to level up using a transformational mindset work.

PS – Sharing this loving kick up the derriere I read in an email today: Just because we understand how to dissolve our issues, doesn’t mean we don’t have to put in the work. How’s that for tough love? Let’s keep on.

PPS – If you’d love guidance in dissolving your stuff, weekly help with me is right here.