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Being different is something most leaders remember from childhood, and it is often the quality they spent the longest trying to hide before realising it was the source of their influence. With 15 years of working with leaders and business owners, the one common statement I hear from most of them is this:
let’s level up:
Grow Yourself To Grow Your BusinessSmash through growth ceilings,
I have known since I was young that I am different. The feeling of being different, of not quite fitting in with those around them. Whether it was a feeling inside, a knowing they had a unique perspective on the world, there was an early experience of feeling out of place. This was the seed of their future impact and influence. These future leaders often found themselves standing apart from their peers.
The Early Signal of Being DifferentI used to wear a jumper in the middle of summer in Melbourne. I stopped drinking at 18 when those around me started. I wanted to go against the crowd. One client who is a significant force in their industry was the child who asked too many questions in class, challenging the teacher with ideas that went beyond what the classroom covered. For many leaders, and perhaps this is true for you too, this sense of difference was not comfortable. Being different can be isolating, especially during childhood and teen years when the pressure to conform is strong. We want to fit in, to be like those around us, to avoid standing out in a way that might attract unwanted attention or judgment. However, for those who carried this feeling of being different, it was a sign of something deeper: a unique perspective or a different way of thinking that, if nurtured, would become a powerful leadership quality.
The Burden and the BlessingFeeling different can be both a weight and a gift. On one hand, it can lead to feelings of loneliness, self-doubt, and a desire to hide who you are in order to fit in. On the other hand, this very difference is often the source of a leader’s deepest strengths. The discomfort of not fitting in develops a strong sense of identity. And during the formative years, that is precisely what is happening: you are shaping your identity and forming your individuality. Embracing that difference rather than suppressing it is what allows a leader to step into their capacity.
Leaders Who Leaned Into Their DifferenceConsider Steve Jobs. As a child, Jobs had a reputation as a misfit. He was drawn to technology and design, but he was not the easiest person to get along with. He had a different way of thinking and often found himself in conflict with others. But instead of trying to fit in, Jobs leaned into his difference. He embraced his unconventional ideas and used them to create products that were not functional alone but beautiful and intuitive. His ability to think differently, his refusal to accept the status quo, was a key factor in his success as the co-founder of Apple. Being different was not the obstacle. It was the foundation. Similarly, challenges and a sense of being different marked Oprah Winfrey’s early life. Growing up in poverty, experiencing hardship, and navigating self-worth, Winfrey could have let her circumstances overwhelm her. Instead, she used those experiences as fuel. Her ability to connect with people on a deep level became what she shared with the world. Her uniqueness became her platform.
Being Different Is the EdgeBeing different is not a quality to be hidden. It is one to cultivate. The traits that set these leaders apart from others in their youth became the source of their depth in adulthood. The leaders who have made the deepest impact are those who were not afraid to be different. They were the ones who, as children, felt like they did not quite fit in, but who later recognised that this very difference was their edge.
If that feeling of being different has been something you have carried quietly, and the leadership you are building has not yet caught up with who you are underneath the conformity, book a 15-minute Strategy Call and explore what shifts when you stop suppressing it and start leading from it.
To your brilliance, Tanya Cross Industry Leader Coach & The Coaches’ Coach BAppSoSc (Counselling) |
