Are you struggling with this?

So you have a desire for things to be different?

You say this is the day, month or year…

I’m going to do more of the inner work. 

But the end of February rolls around and here we are, not yet taking the biggest action steps towards your inner world goals. 

When you find yourself in the land of inaction – with a heart full of desire for action, this is for you.

My question to you is simple.

What is the resistance?

What stops you from self-reflecting?

Self-reflection is a transformative experience.

But it is not uncommon to have obstacles or even resistance along the way. 

Here is what I have learned through the 15 years of coaching about doing ‘the work’;

1. Time constraints with being too busy. Other priorities in life can make it challenging to set aside dedicated time for self-reflection. Because we may prioritize other values or responsibilities or feel overwhelmed, too tired and then self-reflection can be too hard to integrate into our daily life.
2. Fear of uncomfortable emotions, this old chestnut, arises when we self reflect. We may have spent a lifetime avoiding or repressing, suppress emotions that we fear feeling all the feelz. The fear of facing these emotions acts as a barrier to engaging in deep introspection.
3. The loud inner critic of judgy judgy self. The “inner critic” may arise during self-reflection, fueling self-doubt and judgment. Thinking you’re too slow, not doing it right, or not getting it makes it challenging to explore moments. 
4. A resistance to change can creep up as self-reflection often leads to insights and realizations that bring on change in your life. Each breakthrough shifts how you perceive yourself and life. A resistance to change impedes the process of self-reflection and inner transformation. 
5. Uncertainty about how to practice self-reflection leads you to feel unsure about where to begin, what questions to ask, and how to do self-reflection and get maximum results.  

Self-reflection is a beautiful journey to be on. 

Knowing thy self is the beginning of all learning, so they say. 

Understanding yourself—your thinking, experiences, emotions, drive, desire, values, vision – is esssential to personal growth which creates a fulfilling life. 

When you understand yourself, what is birthed is your identity. 

You don’t know who you are if you don’t dive deep into what makes you you. 

Your identity emerges from the depths of self-awareness, deep introspection, and exploration of your inner world. 

But often, the outer world has laid you with expectations. 

From society, family, teachers, friends, colleagues, world leaders…

The influence comes in all shapes and sizes. 

As you introspect, you go on a journey of self-understanding, and you uncover layers of your true self.

Then, your true self doesn’t waver with who is around you.

It means when you know your identity, it serves as a compass, guiding you through life and helping you on a path that feels aligned and congruent to you. 

It means when life is uncertain and changing, your identity and your sense of self are clear and steady.

So, how do you work through the resistance to self-reflect?

Have a drive to know your identity. 

Build up a curiosity to self-reflect. 

If you’d love a set of questions to self-reflect, reply with “Self Reflect”, and we will send them over to you. 

Answering these self-reflection questions is the best guide I know to turn inward to understand yourself more deeply. 

Whether you choose to dive into these questions in one sitting or select a few to ponder upon each day, the aim is to spark profound self-awareness, develop a sense of self and guide you on a path of fulfilment and purpose. 

Tanya x

Leadership Coach & Master Certified Demartini Method Facilitator

BAppSoSc (Counselling)

Maximum Growth