My first group coaching session as a facilitator 11 years ago was a hot flaming mess.

The truth is, it was so disastrous that I was probably lucky only 3 people showed up to witness the carnage (and one I dragged them to it and made them sit with a ball and chain to do their work – ah the learnings are so palpable).

So crushed at the flop that I turned into that screaming-at-the-top-of-her lungs teen, as she slams her bedroom door energy, “This will NEVER happen to me AGAIN! (while then asking “what’s the goddamn benefits Tanya!)”

I had no understanding of what it meant to run a business.

Actually, the idea of running a business wasn’t even a thought. I wanted to be a coach, not a business owner.

Lordy, was I naïve, or what?!

Cue to today…

Now I’m a little older and wiser (with a lot more grey hairs too).

After 11 years of growing a coaching business, I have realized business is the vehicle for you to express your service to the world. So it’s helpful to love business too.

And I have realized so much more:

• It didn’t matter so much that I’d learned a bunch of new things that I wanted to share with clients.
• It didn’t matter so much that I was getting a lot of shit done.
• It didn’t matter so much that I had a growing base of engaged followers.
• It didn’t matter so much that some of the people on the sidelines wanted and wished me to fail.
• It didn’t matter so much that I didn’t know how to read a profit and loss statement.

It mattered that I sincerely and deeply cared about serving people.

If I show up, if you knew you were being cared for, if you knew you had someone on your team, no matter what, people would talk.

And people talked.

Slowly, the word was out.

And my business grew.

But it isn’t only about others talking about your business. You have to start speaking about what you do to others too.

And can I tell you, from my experience as a coach, and helping people to grow themselves to grow their business, this struggle comes up a lot.

People genuinely find it difficult to talk about what they do. Mainly due to uncertainty about the service they offer.

If you can’t clearly articulate what you do to others, how do they know what they will come to you for? Or how others can refer people to you?

So how do you tackle such a problem?

In our Business Membership Class this week, the group focused on defining your perfect problem.

I thought I’d give you a little peek inside the class because I know you’d benefit greatly from the deep existential questioning.

Many businesses, when developing new products, processes, or just even serving clients, haven’t defined the problems they’re attempting to solve and articulated why those issues are important to the client to solve.

Instead, they create a solution before identifying the problem (this is especially true for coaches as they are solution-outcome focused).

So let’s get a little wisdom with the genius Albert Einstein. He said “If I were given one hour to save the planet, I would spend 59 minutes defining the problem and one minute resolving it.”

Hmm…

It makes you reflect on how much time you’ve spent defining the problem.

So circle back to when I struggled to get bums on seats at my first event. My focus was on getting people in the room. My self-driven focus was gaining experience with my craft.

The focus wasn’t on what problem people faced, how the program could shift or solve the problem for them.

I was essentially wishing clients my way, not working to get them to attend.

So how do you define a perfect problem?

1. Start with brainstorming all the potential problems in your industry, with your clients, with the world and with the ones that stand out, flesh them out a bit more.
2. Write the problem as a problem (not the solution).
3. And just like when you apply the Demartini Method and you’re heart opens when you hit something meaningful, the same thing will happen here too.

If we focus on asking the perfect question/s so that they tackle the perfect problems for our business, mission and life, we create multiple layers of purpose and direction in our business.

So, for example, Maximum Growth, which I founded in 2020 was created because leadership can be a lonely journey, there is a disconnection in relationships with self, family, business, because of a lack of education in how the mind works. There is uncertainty in how to apply and integrate the Demartini Method and universal principles in everyday life.

And one which makes me a little teary is so many people are not living up to the light that is within them (oh you feel that one don’t you).

These perfect problems create the purpose of why you do what you do. It helps to put any first (or 50th) event flop into perspective and focus on solving the bigger problem at hand.

Because remember, your purpose is the driving force of your business.

And let’s face it, you can work out how to read a profit and loss statement along the way.

So what perfect problem/s would you love to dedicate your life to?

With deep pondering thoughts,

Leadership Coach & Master Certified Demartini Method Facilitator
BAppSoSc (Counselling)
Maximum Growth
One on one & group coaching available

Helping leaders to level up using a transformational mindset work.

PS. Come join the Maximum Growth Academy for your opportunity to learn and apply quality questions every week.

Ever felt like your cup is not only empty but you have given your cup away to someone else and have nothing more to give?

(I see you nodding your head).

That was me recently.

We can all agree the past 18 months have been a little on the crazy side.

For me, I’ve been raising a toddler and starting a new business which is like raising a toddler too.

There’s lots of energy and time that’s required. It doesn’t do exactly what you want. You hear lots of no’s and your zonked at the end of the day and crash.

So I found myself last week realising how much of my life was revolving around work. Other values weren’t getting fulfilled.

I was perceiving that I had a life but I wasn’t living my life.

It doesn’t have to be this way. (Breathe a sigh of relief).

We don’t have one value in our life. We have a small handful of values which are important. And in order to feel fulfilled, all the cups require filling.

For me, my values are facilitating, family, finances, fitness and flying.

If I’m not training and exercising, I feel flat. If I’m not travelling, I feel life is a little dull. If I’m not investing time with my family, especially my little one, my heart doesn’t feel as full.

So, on reflection of my empty and non-existent cups, I decided that if I want my life to be different, I can change my actions to change my life.

I invested in a night away, nourishing the things that are important outside of work. I ate beautiful food with my daughter, strolled through the city with her, I even walked the streets of the city late at night just people watching while listening to music (I’m into country musics – no judgment, it fills my cup).

It didn’t take much to feel full to the brim with more to give to others as we come to the end of the year.

You don’t have to finish the year empty.

So tell me {first_name}, what can you do today to fill your cup up?

With gratitude,

Leadership Coach & Master Certified Demartini Method Facilitator
BAppSoSc (Counselling)
Maximum Growth
One on one & group coaching available

Helping leaders to level up using a transformational mindset work.

PS. Come join the Maximum Growth Academy for your opportunity to learn and apply quality questions every week.

We are rolling into another year, and fast. You know you don’t want things to be the same as this year and deep inside you want to level up next year.

So how do you go about making change?

• If you want to eat better, join an exercise class.
• If you want to create more business, get networking.
• If you want to earn more money, serve more clients.

Do the very thing that will give you the outcome you’d love.

That was the conclusion of a 2015 study that followed more than 6000 people for four years. People who increased their exercise increased their intake of fruit and vegetables more than people who continued to exercise regularly or who gave up their fitness plans.

They are the same part of a border goal, doing one gives you a head start on the other.

So how do you get into the new habits that will help you achieve your goals?

When it comes to changing your behaviour, knowing more, having more knowledge in your brain isn’t the key.

Another analysis in 2016 in more than 10,000 people who were told that their lifestyle and genetics are speeding them towards an early grave found that while it changed the way they thought, it made no difference to what they actually did.

It is something that we are all guilty of to some extent, and it happens not because we are weak, but because, most of the time, we aren’t consciously in charge of our actions.

The vast majority of the time, our brains tick over at the unconscious level, responding to cues and enacting habits that are often at odds with our conscious intentions. Actually, as much as 40 percent of our daily behaviour happens without the need for conscious thought.

While a habit is developing, there is conscious input from the prefrontal cortex, which is involved in planning and impulse control. If we repeat the behaviour enough, the prefrontal cortex is taken out of the equation, leaving only reward and action parts of the loop, so our planning skills are free for other things.

This means that these loops can be rerouted, but it takes a huge amount of conscious effort.

To stand any chance of creating a new pattern of behaviour or habits, the first step is to change your perceptions of yourself, so you don’t see yourself in the same light, and don’t therefore make the same decisions and take the same actions.

For example, you want to create more business, but you struggle with identifying as a business owner and having a business mindset. You think it is in other people, not in you.

Then you could create new habits, like get up at 4am, pomodoro your time, or post more on social media.

But you might have found in the past, you tried this, but then slipped back into old habits.

And that’s because old habits are hard to break and new ones are hard to form.

To reprogramme your unconscious, you must first derail the existing problematic habit and use prominent cues to trigger a more desirable one.

To change a habit, you also have to be all in with those decisions. And you can create more drive to change but shifting your mindset, tacking up enough benefits to why the change is important. And then the drive to change outweighs the desire to stay the same.

So stack up benefit, benefit, benefit ontop of each other like sunday pancakes is going to make some internal changes for sure.

Believing in willpower can help too. For decades, psychologists thought that when we exert self-control we run down our reserves of mental strength, leaving us vulnerable to a slip later in the day. But recent research suggests that it might be more to do with attitude.

This showed that people who believed willpower was an unlimited resource were not only better at self-control tasks in the lab but also had better exam grades, ate more healthily and spent money more wisely than those who considered self-control to be limited.

Willpower seems to come in limited supply, until it doesn’t. In fact, the more we use it during the day, the more it gets depleted. This can mean that we are more likely to give up as the day goes on. Just like a muscle, your willpower gets weaker.

Willpower can be in short supply during times of stress, tired, or emotionally vulnerable so we fall back on our old habits. So we don’t want to rely too much on this gem.

If you can feel your willpower is ebbing, you can make a conscious decision to either change the situation, change your environment or the perfect time to bring out your quality questions to increase your willpower tank again.

Recent research suggests believing that there are no limits to our willpower to boost self-control.

So maybe owning (that’s column 2 question of the Demartini Method) the action of “self control” might be the catalyst for creating a profitable business, losing the weight you’d like, or heck, just holding back from lashing out at your spouse, taking a breath, owning their reflection in you.

And don’t think positively. Beware of the idea that to change something, you just have to think positively. Research suggests that fantasising about successfully reaching your goals – whether it is making more money, losing weight, snaring your dream partner or landing a promotion – makes it less likely that you will actually achieve them.

That’s because fantasies conveniently skip to the end of a challenge, remaining sketchy on what is needed to get there. This tricks the body into relaxing as if it had already crossed off the list.

Lastly, you’re a product of both your environment and your thoughts. However, the link between habits and your environment is so strong, often the best time to break a habit or create a new one is when we are going away, coming out of lockdown, moving house, ending or starting a new relationship.

This interruption to our regular pattern means the normal cues can’t be triggered. And you have more chances of creating new cues and triggers. Changing the context enables the mind to arrange new unconscious behaviours, until they, too, become habits.

​So as the new year rolls in, know that if you want things to change, first transform yourself. (Kind of like, if you wanna move the world, first move yourself kind of attitude).

With gratitude,

Tanya “kicking some butt” x

Leadership Coach & Master Certified Demartini Method Facilitator
BAppSoSc (Counselling)
Maximum Growth
One on one & group coaching available

Helping leaders to level up using a transformational mindset work.

PS. Come join the Maximum Growth Academy for your opportunity to learn and apply quality questions every week.

This week I have been on the hunt to find a theme song for my life.

One that really encompasses where I am and where I am going. It’s to add to my Divine Design Powerpoint slideshow of what I’d love to create in my business and life.

(It’s kind of like a moving imagery to play for my future every morning before I start work for the day.)

I came across this Sam Smith song.

“how I see myself with you

I don’t say a word

……

And look in my eye

You are perfection

My only direction

It’s fire on fire

It’s fire on fire.

……

But then we love and feel the truth.”

I had rolling goosebumps throughout the song. No, not all of it moves me, but some lines like “You are perfection” does it for me every time. Waves of goosies rolling through my body.

Now, I get that for you, it might not be the case with this song, these words.

For you, it’s more likely to be a different song or scene of a movie as we have different things that will move us.

These connected emotional states involve goosebumps.

So why do you get goosebumps?

OK, let’s get our geek on.

The technical term is cutis anserine (‘cutis’ means skin and ‘anser’ means goose) or piloerection (probably not going to use that word again).

Now, let’s get clear, there are three types of goosebumps. This is how I’ve named them, and they’re not scientific-technical names by any means.

• The ‘cold’ goosebumps, the ones you get when you’re physiologically cold.
• The ‘chilli’ goosebumps, the ones that cause a cold shiver down your spine. Usually occurs with a perception of social disgust and fear.
• The ‘soul’ goosebumps with an experience of awe. Usually occurs with an integration, alignment or truth being told.

The common experience of goosebumps is the ‘chilli’ ones you get when you feel cold, and your hairs stand on end. This reaction is great for animals because all of their hair stands on end, they look bigger and scarier to their predator. For us humans, it helps to create a buffer between your skin and the cool air keeping you a little warmer.

Evolutionary speaking, that came in handing pre-clothing days to keep our body warmer and is still serving that purpose now. (except for those people who lasered their arm hair – they’re now realising the downside. #deepsigh).

Let’s go a little deeper.

There are involuntary muscles just under the skin that, when experiencing a highly emotional state, activate when the sympathetic nervous system or also known as the fight, flight or fright response. When the muscle is contracted, it makes your hairs stand upright and gives you goosebumps.

The goosebumps I’m referring to are the ones you get watching a movie, hearing a speech, reading a passage from a book. It moves you in a deep way and gives you goosebumps.

This feeling of being moved or touched can be accompanied by tears, goosebumps, and sensations of warmth in the centre of the chest or heart plexus.

This experience is described in Sanskrit as kama muta, a feeling of oneness, of love or union.

One particular framework for emotional experiences labelled as moving is the concept called kama muta. Kama muta theory is the sudden increases in closeness and community which evokes a distinctive perceived positive social-relational emotion.

This emotion is often accompanied by tears, goosebumps, and feelings of warmth in the chest, and people often will use the terms such as “moving”, “touching”, or “heartwarming”.

The goosebumps you’ll experience in Maximum Growth classes, living life and doing “the work” are the soul goosebumps.

There are more nuances to why these goosies happen and scientific research is still debating about why we experience these types of goosebumps.

What they do know about goosebumps, after studying brain images, is that it activates certain structures of the brain like the amygdala (the centre for emotions, emotional behaviour, and motivation) and prefrontal cortex (cognitive control functions).

I can tell you from my experience, I’ve been writing my goosebump moments down since 2009. Not every one of them, but a large sample to see what is common to what my soul is saying.

There are some messages in there that are profound statements, like things to do with universal truths, setting a big, crazy goal and achieving it, and receiving a payment from a client with the transaction name being “lifesaver.”

When we align our souls messages with a business, and lead, magic happens. You’ll feel purposeful and that you’re walking the path that you are destined to walk. Every day feels that you get paid to be you and do the things you love most.

So {first_name}, open a new word document, start generating your list of goosies.

Love to hear what is revealed to you. Do you require changing direction in business? Or are you on perfect path for your souls calling?

Here’s to hearing the whispering in your ear from your soul,

Tanya “following my knowing” x

Leadership Coach & Master Certified Demartini Method Facilitator
BAppSoSc (Counselling)
Maximum Growth
One on one & group coaching available

Helping leaders to level up using a transformational mindset work.

PS. Come join the Maximum Growth Academy for your opportunity to learn and apply quality questions every week.