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The power of being held is not something most founders talk about, yet it is one of the most profound shifts available to anyone willing to stop bracing.
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As founders, we are often in our heads. Solving problems. Running teams. Planning launches. Holding space for everyone else. In fact, even our own healing becomes something to manage. Another item to analyse, understand, or fix. However, what if healing is not something to work on? What if it is something to allow?
A Lesson on the CaminoBack in 2016, I walked the Camino. I planned it as a reset, a break from the thinking mind. Then one afternoon, I was walking alongside a man named Philippe, listening to an audiobook about healing the mother wound. It described how insight or awareness does not resolve some wounds. Words or recognition do not heal them either. Instead, they heal when you feel them. No fixing, no processing, simply feeling. So I turned to Philippe and said something unusual. There is an exercise in this book. It is not romantic. It is about letting someone hold you. Would you hold me? And he said, “I’ll ask my wife.” Then the next day, he came back and said, ‘She said yes.’ And so, each evening, after our walks, he would hold me. No fixing. No talking. No advice. Just a quiet presence. And as a result, something shifted in me. That is the power of being held. A weight I did not even know I was carrying.
The Power of Being Held as a FounderAs founders, we carry so much. In turn, we get used to bracing. To being the strong one. The capable one. Yet under the surface, our nervous systems are often asking for softness. Not solutions. Instead, presence. In fact, that moment on the Camino reminded me of this. And years later, when I was pregnant with my daughter, we were choosing names. I said to Aaron, “What about Bonnie?” And he said, “I love it.” Bonnie was Philippe’s wife. The one who said yes. The one who gave permission for a simple act of kindness that I still carry with me.
What Happens When You Stop BracingHealing is not a breakthrough or a breakthrough strategy. Rather, it is in the moment you let yourself soften. To be held by something. Or someone. To stop bracing. To let your system catch up to your soul. So if you are building something big right now, I invite you to ask: What part of me is asking me to feel today? Feel it. Do not fix it.
To your brilliance, Tanya Cross Industry Leader Coach & The Coaches’ Coach BAppSoSc (Counselling) |
