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Hiding in excellence does not look like hiding. It looks like a standard no one would think to question.
Nobody has questioned your output. Not your team, not your board, not the people closest to you. What you deliver is so consistently refined that it has become the thing people rely on and respect. And somewhere inside that, you stopped letting anyone see what the refinement costs you.
How Hiding in Excellence WorksThe pattern is hard to recognise because it sits inside something you are good at. You are not avoiding work. You are over-producing it. You are not ducking responsibility. You are carrying it so thoroughly that there is no visible seam, no place where someone might notice you are uncertain. That is not the same as not being uncertain. You are. You have carried questions through decisions and kept them to yourself. You have rewritten something four times, not because the work required it but because you could not stand the thought of someone seeing the version before it was ready. The difference between craft and hiding in excellence is not visible from the outside. Both produce exceptional work. Both hold a high standard. The difference is on the inside, in whether you are refining because the work needs more, or because you need to not be seen before it is done.
What You Have Trained People to ExpectWhen you only show the finished version of yourself, people learn to meet you there. They come to you for clarity, for certainty, for the answer they can rely on. They bring you the problems they cannot solve. What they stop doing is looking for you underneath that. Not because they do not care. Because you have given them no reason to think there is more to find. The competence is so thorough it answers the question before anyone thinks to ask it. Are you okay? Is any of this costing you? Nobody asks, because you have made sure there is no opening for the question.
A Second Job Underneath the First OneYou are carrying something that is hard to explain because from the outside it looks like success. The output is strong. The results hold up. The people around you see someone operating at a level they admire. What you feel is the effort of keeping that surface intact at every moment. The labour is not the work itself. It is the vigilance, the constant curating of what people are allowed to see. That is a second job underneath the first one, and it does not have an off switch. This is where the Success Persona does its work. It does not sit in front of your competence. It sits inside it, borrowing your standards, your thoroughness, your preparation. That is why you have not been able to separate it from who you are.
When You Let People See YouYou do not have to lower your standard. The work you do is yours and it stands on its own. What can shift is what happens in the spaces between the work. The conversation where you let someone hear the question you have not resolved yet. The moment you stop preparing what you are going to say before you say it. The decision to let someone meet you before you have it figured out. That is not weakness and it is not carelessness. It is the difference between people who experience your competence and people who experience you. Hiding in excellence keeps you respected. It also keeps you at a distance you did not choose. The work does not change when you step out from behind it. But how you feel inside it does. When was the last time you let someone see you mid-thought?
If the standard you hold has started holding you at a distance, book a 15-minute Strategy Call and let’s look at what the competence has been covering.
To your brilliance, Tanya Cross Industry Leader Coach & The Coaches’ Coach BAppSoSc (Counselling) |